tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37346852099329119612024-03-13T13:00:56.112-07:00Claudine DombrowskiSurvivor/Advocate, Domestic Violence Expert - Battered Mothers Loosing Custody To Abuser's - A National CrisisAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-62970859750506386362015-03-05T19:53:00.001-08:002015-03-05T19:53:48.469-08:00Bias against Women Alleging Abuse in Family Courts<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GABQofuGhiw" width="480"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-61018644752099950922014-12-30T19:40:00.000-08:002014-12-30T20:04:52.678-08:00"Auld Lang Syne" Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-USyS6ohcLhk/VKN1bN8c3aI/AAAAAAAAyzc/6XUtrdhSFbc/s1600/beautiful-happy-new-year-banner-for-facebook-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-USyS6ohcLhk/VKN1bN8c3aI/AAAAAAAAyzc/6XUtrdhSFbc/s1600/beautiful-happy-new-year-banner-for-facebook-2.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Below you will find the lyrics for this traditional favorite
in the English Translation (minimalist). I included a few interesting
facts concerning this wonderful old song. I hope knowing the words to <i>"Auld Lang Syne"</i> in advance of
the festivities will help you to enjoy your New Year celebration even more.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><i> "<a href="http://wordplay.hubpages.com/hub/vintage-new-years-clip-art">Auld Lang
Syne</a>" is a Scots poem written by Robert Burns in 1788 and set to the
tune of a traditional folk song." It is often sung to celebrate the start
of the New Year, generally at the stroke of midnight.</i></li>
<li><i> "Guy Lombardo is often credited with popularizing
the use of the song at New Year’s celebrations, through his <a href="http://chuck.hubpages.com/hub/A_Visit_to_the__Annual_Lilac_Festival_in_Rochester">annual
broadcasts</a> on radio and television, beginning in 1929. The <a href="http://glassvisage.hubpages.com/hub/What-was-the-No-1-song-on-your-birthday">song</a> became
his trademark."</i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Same Auld Lang Syne"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As another year comes to a close we are
reminded of the many major events that have taken place in the world and in our
lives. Wars and fighting, new territories conquered, great heroes and heroines
that we have lost, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/AngelFury?sk=friends&v=friends" target="_blank">new friends</a> we have made, babies that have born into
our families - <span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">our children</span> <a href="http://mothersarevanishing.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Friends and
relatives</span></a> that have passed on through this world and into their
eternal destiny. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There have been <a href="https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=year+in+review+2014" target="_blank">good times</a> and not so good times, but those
are the building blocks that construct and build the multi-levels and form the
layers of our lives. Memories created and forever etched in our minds, hearts,
thoughts and lives. This is the stuff that life is made of. So we take the good
and the bad and make the best of it, choosing to highlight the good and joyful
times.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The New Year is rapidly approaching and as
such, we plan our <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=traditional+New+Year%E2%80%99s+Eve+parties&oq=traditional+New+Year%E2%80%99s+Eve+parties&aqs=chrome..69i57&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=122&ie=UTF-8" target="_blank">traditional New Year’s Eve parties</a>. Bringing in the New Year
with good food, music, prayer, hugging/kissing, we are grateful and thankful
to be in good company during this special time as we usher in a fresh new year
full of possibilities and potential.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Countdown to the New Year begins at 10 seconds
before midnight, and then as the <a href="http://www.timeanddate.com/counters/newyear.html" target="_blank">clock strikes</a> 12:00 o’clock midnight, it is
time to share your rendition of the classic traditional song, <i>"Auld Lang Syne". </i>The only problem that can exist now is the possibility that
you might not know or remember all the lyrics or words to the song, since it is
not a tune that is sung on a regular basis throughout the year. The lyrics
(words) to this traditional classic follows.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Wishing you a blessed and peaceful, <b>Happy New Year!</b></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/OYIWeow6W14" width="420"></iframe><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>"Auld Lang Syne" English Translation
(minimalist)</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Should old acquaintance be forgot,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and never brought to mind ?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Should old acquaintance be forgot,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and old lang syne ?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHORUS:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For auld lang syne, my dear,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
for auld lang syne,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
for auld lang syne.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and surely I’ll buy mine !<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
for auld lang syne.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHORUS<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We two have run about the slopes,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and picked the daisies fine ;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
since auld lang syne.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHORUS<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We two have paddled in the stream,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
from morning sun till dine† ;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But seas between us broad have roared<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
since auld lang syne.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHORUS<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And give us a hand o’ thine !<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
for auld lang syne.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHORUS<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Repeat<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-43288241150645876402014-12-29T10:43:00.000-08:002014-12-29T10:43:02.412-08:00There is No Greater Torture Than To Take a Mother's Child<div id="fb-root">
</div>
<script>(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));</script>
<div class="fb-post" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/BonsheaMakingLightOfTheDark/photos/a.484631164918261.1073741826.484627281585316/749980355050006/?type=1" data-width="466">
<div class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/BonsheaMakingLightOfTheDark/photos/a.484631164918261.1073741826.484627281585316/749980355050006/?type=1">Post</a> by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/BonsheaMakingLightOfTheDark">Bonshea Making Light of the Dark</a>.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-82616224153462085462014-10-12T15:30:00.003-07:002014-10-12T15:30:23.592-07:00Tired. Yet hopeful.I accidently came across this old article.<br />
<br />
In reading it, I cried, not only the agaonizingly rawness of my own wretched injustice, but those of two other mothers. I wonder, what ever became of them? Nationally, I have seen many mothers come and...... far to many go. Eventually, wiped out, and completely destroyed..<br />
<br />
I think back to this article, what has changed in Kansas? It has gotten only far worst. Now, as is on a National and Global basis, the slaughter is not even silent any more.What has changed? The Positive??? Neither are we. (silent no more)<br />
<br />
Never Give Up, never shup up, and NEVER go away!<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
c<br />
<br />
<h2 class="posttitle" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: serif; font-size: 30px; line-height: 1.1em; margin: 30px 0px; padding: 0px; width: 509.140625px;">
<a href="http://watchdog.org/36499/ks-compelling-stories-about-problems-with-placement-and-removal-of-children/" target="_blank">Compelling stories from parents and grandparents about problems with placement and removal of children</a></h2>
<div class="metaStuff" style="background: none rgb(255, 255, 255); border: none; color: #888888; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-top: -23px; padding: 0px;">
By <a href="http://watchdog.org/author/earlglynn/" rel="author" style="-webkit-transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color; color: #12395f; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color;" title="Posts by Earl Glynn">Earl Glynn</a> / December 4, 2009 / <a class="commentsLink" data-disqus-identifier="36499 http://kansas.watchdog.org/?p=2010" href="http://watchdog.org/36499/ks-compelling-stories-about-problems-with-placement-and-removal-of-children/#disqus_thread" style="-webkit-transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color; color: #12395f; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color;" title="Comment on Compelling stories from parents and grandparents about problems with placement and removal of children">12 Comments</a></div>
<strong style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Claudine Dombrowski</strong><span style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div class="wp-caption alignright" id="attachment_2021" style="background-color: #f9fcff; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.247059) 2px 2px 7px 2px; float: right; font-family: serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px 0px 10px 20px; padding: 0px; width: 177px;">
<a href="http://kansas.watchdog.org/files/2009/12/Claudine-Dombrowski.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color; color: rgb(0, 102, 204) !important; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color;"><img alt="Claudine Dombrowski: An abused mom victimized again by the Kansas Courts" class="size-full wp-image-2021" height="162" src="http://watchdog.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/files/2009/12/Claudine-Dombrowski.jpg" style="-webkit-transition: all 0.2s linear; border-bottom-color: rgb(35, 31, 32); border-bottom-width: 4px; border-style: solid none; border-top-color: rgb(35, 31, 32); border-top-width: 4px; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; transition: all 0.2s linear;" width="177" /></a><div class="wp-caption-credit" style="height: auto; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px 5px; padding: 0px; text-align: right;">
<div style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 6.5pt; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-top: 2px; padding: 0px;">
Claudine Dombrowski: An abused mom victimized again by the Kansas Courts</div>
</div>
<div class="wp-caption-text" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 10pt; padding: 15px;">
Claudine Dombrowski: An abused mom victimized again by the Kansas Courts</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.docstoc.com/docs/document-preview.aspx?doc_id=18449340" style="-webkit-transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color; color: rgb(0, 102, 204) !important; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color;" target="_blank" title="Statement by Claudine Dombrowski">Read details in written statement</a>.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
This is an truly incredible story that should never have happened in America. </div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
Parts of the Kansas Judicial system should be disciplined for how it has victimized Ms. Dombrowski, who was an abused mom.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
Instead of quotes from the audio, please consult these pages that document Dombrowski’s long and difficult battle to protect her daughter:</div>
<ul style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px 0px 15px 15px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="-webkit-transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; list-style-position: outside; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px; transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color;"><a href="http://iachr-mothers-petition.blogspot.com/p/httpweb.html" target="_blank">Claudine Dombrowski Photos of Abuse</a></li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 30px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">As you view these photos keep in mind that the court awarded FULL CUSTODY of their daughter to the “man” who did this to Claudine.</em></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px 0px 15px 15px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="-webkit-transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; list-style-position: outside; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px; transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color;"><a href="http://www.kansas.net/~freepress/7-12-01-8.html" style="-webkit-transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color; color: rgb(0, 102, 204) !important; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color;" target="_blank" title="Courts Have Continued Abuse Of Manhattan Woman ">Courts Have Continued Abuse of Manhattan Women</a><em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">, Manhattan Free Press,</em> July 12, 2001.</li>
<li style="-webkit-transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; list-style-position: outside; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px; transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color;"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20020212081822/www.kstatecollegian.com/stories/072601/new_custody.shtml" style="-webkit-transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color; color: rgb(0, 102, 204) !important; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: background-color 0.2s linear, border-top-color;" target="_blank" title="Manhattan resident fights custody battle for daughter ">Manhattan resident fights custody battle for daughter</a>, <em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Kansas State Collegian</em>, July 26, 2001.</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">State Rep Bill Otto</strong>: “No crime? You haven’t been guilty of anything? This is a court order that says you can’t go to any school functions?”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">“I was under court order till 2004 to not even call the police after I was being beaten because … I was not ‘co-parenting’”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Dombrowski</strong>: “These friends of the court make recommendations to the judge. The parents … don’t have a right to see these documents. They do this behind closed doors.”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Otto</strong>: (To Secretary Jordan): “You have no rights as a parent …?”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Secretary Don Jordan</strong>: “This would be something extreme … I’m not familiar with the situation.”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Otto</strong>: “Can a judge do that? … Is that legal… ?”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Jordan</strong>: “Under the right circumstances … I hesitate to speculate.”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Sen. Roger Reitz</strong>: “This is something that only … the judicial system can really answer … It would be helpful … to have someone … representing the judicial system … to give us some ideas how this could happen.”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Dombrowski</strong>: “When you are a victim of domestic violence, and suddenly there’s a child involved, the typical …. power of control is that ‘I’ll take your children from you’. They will and they can the way the laws are setup.” …</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">“I was told that I’m not to talk to my daughter about the violence. That’s why I don’t see her. That’s why I see her supervised. He was criminally convicted. “</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">“When women try to get away from people who hurt them … I heard somebody say it’s really hard to believe you won’t call the police … I tell people not to contact the police, because as soon as you walk into court with a DV (domestic violence) and children, you’re already cutting your throat. You will lose your children. That’s the way it is right now.”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">“… on the 16th of this month I’ll probably go to jail for breaking the gag order and talking about [being the victim of] violence as it relates to my case.”</em></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Reitz</strong>: “… someone ought to be able to deal with this in a way that would address her problem. It doesn’t seem like we’ve done the right thing with regards to this little niche of the law.”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Dombrowski</strong>: “The criminal convictions are completely tossed aside and they don’t have any bearing on the family court … The eight criminal convictions that my ex had before getting custody of my daughter were completely dropped [in family court]“</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Chair Kiegerl</strong>: “I cannot believe that abuse is totally ignored. I cannot believe you can prohibit a person from speaking about their own case.”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">“The one thing [where] … I disagree with you is abuse should always be reported.”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">State Rep Peggy Mast (R-Emporia)</strong>: “Domestic violence is a control issue. Sexual abuse is a control issue. Is there any correlation between domestic violence and sexual abuse? Why is that not something that is considered when we take someone to [family] court that has a history of domestic violence?”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Dombrowski</strong>: “Yes. That is something I’ve asked myself for 16 years. … It comes back to the family court that has a veil of immunity. … They don’t fully understand the impact of the violence. What battered women have … if they report the abuse, then they’re failing to protect their child … if they don’t report the abuse, they’re still failing to protect their child. So, both ways, they’re going to lose their children …”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">For anybody who abuses their wife … [from] a 1996 presidential task force … there is a 70% increase that those children will be abused and/or sexually abused after there’s been battery with the mother.</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Sen. Oletha Faust-Goudea</strong>: “In 2004 …. I talked with the homicide department in Sedgwick County…. During that time there had been 21 homicides in Sedgwick County and 18 were due to domestic violence …”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">“A lot of women do make those phone calls and unfortunately, sometimes it ends in their death.” …</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">“I want to apologize to you for being treated like a pedophile … not being able to go to a music concert.”</em></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">“I commend you for what you’re doing.”</em></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-28673820959632936322014-10-08T19:34:00.001-07:002014-10-08T19:34:20.230-07:00Domestic Slavery and why Equality is the Answer<div class="headline_area" style="background-color: #ededed; margin: 0px 0px 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<h1 class="headline" itemprop="name" style="color: #6b2771; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Sans', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 53px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
How Men Coerce Women into Domestic Slavery and why Equality is the Answer</h1>
<div class="byline small" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 23px;"><i><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/gender-roles">http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/gender-roles</a></i></span></span></div>
<div class="byline small" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 23px;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post_content" itemprop="articleBody" style="background-color: #ededed; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
This is the fifteenth of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel — Domestic Slavery.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<a href="http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Power-control-wheel-15-Clare-Murphy-PhD.jpg" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><img alt="Power & control wheel #15 Clare Murphy PhD" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2039" height="483" src="http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Power-control-wheel-15-Clare-Murphy-PhD.jpg" style="border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; float: none; height: auto; margin: 0px auto 27px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: center; word-wrap: break-word;" width="480" /></a></div>
<h3 style="font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: green; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Rigid Gender Roles</span></strong></h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Amongst heterosexual couples, many people believe the man should be the breadwinner (although being the sole breadwinner is really only possible for wealthy families). Alongside this, many people believe the woman should stay at home to care for the children, the house, the shopping and the cooking. Or, if the woman does earn money, this is often viewed as supplementing the man’s income — and <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">her duties are often thought of as “not real work”</strong>. Socially speaking, the male breadwinner role has been assigned a high status that includes having power over their wife and children, the privilege to do what he wants when he wants, and our society has made this role the central way for men to express a masculine identity.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
This social identity is rewarded with respect and therefore influences men’s self-esteem and self-worth. Hence men’s masculinity and status are threatened when men are unemployed or if their female partner earns more than he does. Of course this is not the case for all men, however, it is the case for many men who coercively control their female partners.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Before the industrial revolution most family members contributed to bringing in the family income and engaged in a variety of roles. The current male breadwinner/female home-maker roles were only created about the middle of the 19th century, yet in reality only a minority of families have ever fitted the stereotype.(1) Firstly, because most people can’t afford to only have one breadwinner, and secondly, not everyone has ever agreed with this rigid division of roles.(2) And, despite the stereotypes, the majority of wives have worked for money outside the home for decades.(3) However, research shows that when men and women both work full time, the majority of housework and child care continues to be performed by the woman.(4)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Brendan</strong>, a man who abused his wife, said, “I think most blokes still would like the old traditional values, where, if they’re gonna get married and have kids, then most of the men I know would expect the woman to take on the traditional role of looking after the house, doing those sort of decisions, but allowing the man to have the final financial decision and, the final direction for the family.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Likewise, <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</strong> said, “Blokes like to control money, their money. When they get home from work they expect everything to be laid out for them, they want their dinner and want the kids to be quiet and everything.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Alex</strong> had the same view, saying, “I always expected my wife to do the cooking coz she’s a woman, I expected my wife to clean the house coz she’s a woman, make the beds coz she’s a woman, little things like that and I used to say things like that to her so that the kids would hear me say that to her. Like I come in from work and the house is in a mess I say, ‘What happened here today? What’ve you been doing all day?’ Little things like that. And I’m always doing that to my wife.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Despite the huge increase in women participating in the workforce and many husbands and wives <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">both</em> earning money, the wider social attitudes still consider men should be the primary breadwinner.(5) These beliefs place pressure on men to perform, and as women tell their stories below, it is apparent that, for some men who ‘fail’ to live up to the breadwinner role, they use coercive control as a way of achieving a sense of masculinity, power and control.</div>
<h3 style="font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: green; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">She is obliged to carry out her responsibilities, he is not obliged to carry out his</span></strong></h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
When <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Karen</b> started living with <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Felix</b> her “perceptions were initially that we should share everything, that none of us should take responsibility for the traditional gender places, but eventually it worked out that I was doing all the girlie jobs and he was doing the boy jobs —<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">but then I was doing the girlie jobs <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">and</i> the boy jobs</strong>. I was really desperate for him to take responsibility. He drives me nuts, he won’t take responsibility and he’s got it down to an absolute fine art and he’s just got worse and worse and worse. When I met him he was working, he ran a household, it was clean, he cooked good meals. As soon as I turned up he saw it as an opportunity to just relinquish those responsibilities. He saw that he was able to just flick his wrists and just toss it off and I would be there to pick it up for him and I ended up working really hard, very hard. If I asked him to do anything he would immediately get his back up and refuse to do it.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Sally</b> said “I really thought <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Dylan</b> had incredible potential, but his way of being in a marriage was so traditional, he would not cook, he wouldn’t do the dishes after we’d eaten. So for me to get him to do the dishes I had to let him do them in <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">his</i> time, which was maybe once a week, maybe every few days. I refused to do it for him so, I learned to live in a kitchen full of mess, hoping he would actually do something around the house. He wouldn’t do the grocery shopping. I discussed it, I sat him down, I yelled at him, I yelled a lot at him. I got him to make commitments. Sometimes he’d say, ‘Yes, I agree I will do these things, yes I will cook, yes I will do the groceries once a week, yes we’ll take turns cooking.’ <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">But every time it was his turn to do something, he ended up not doing it, he’d have the most<i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">twisted subtle excuses</i></strong>.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Sally</b> explained the kind of excuses <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Dylan</strong> made for not carrying out responsibilities: “He said he couldn’t cook elaborate dishes like I did, so he wasn’t going to cook. But I’d say, ‘cook whatever you like, I don’t care if you make me a piece of toast.’ <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Sometimes</i> he would do that, but then he’d stop and revert to the same excuse. Then he said his ex-wife always interfered with him in the kitchen telling him what to do and how to do it so he was put off cooking for life. I told him that I was not into telling him how to do it or what to do in the kitchen and that he could do whatever he liked in whatever way he liked. I tried to prove to him that he could trust me. I thought he had a self-esteem problem and that if I proved to him that I was supportive and loved him he would eventually share the load — but no, he’d continually act as if I was untrustworthy. I despaired.”</div>
<h3 style="font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: green; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Refuses to take responsibility for finances, household duties and for own children</span></strong></h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Sally</b> said, “I was continually stuck because of <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Dylan’s</b> lack of responsibility and my need not to go into debt. So with financial issues I begged him, argued. I told him I would show him how to do the books, show him how to do budgets. He consistently said ‘I already know how to run my own finances, I’ve done it for years as a single man. It’s not as if I cant do it.’ Then I’d say, ‘Well, do it then.’ So occasionally, I’d let go so he’d do it. I would let him take full responsibility for the finances, but as usual he did not pay the bills, he didn’t do anything about earning money, he didn’t do anything about making a budget, so that there was no money when it was time to pay the bills. I couldn’t stand being in debt, so I would take over the finances again. I worked very very hard doing things I hated so that I was supporting him.” <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Sally</b> said <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Dylan</b> “always said ‘we’re a team’. But I would explain to him that team members actually do the ugly tasks as well as the nice tasks and that <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">he</i> had to contribute to doing the ugly tasks. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">But he insisted I had to do what I was good at, which happened to include all the ugly tasks, and that he would do what he was good at, which happened to be the nice tasks</strong>. So that was another seven-year argument and in the last year I finally said, ‘No, I’m not doing it any more’ and I just stopped working for him.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
According to <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elsie</b>, the pattern of roles in her relationship with <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Leon</b> entailed, “around the house was my responsibility, everything inside it and everything outside it. He did nothing. He sat in his chair and that was it. I just did everything. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">He only had responsibility for the things that he wanted</strong>, the things like the finances, the things that mean he was in control.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Pauline</b> said she and <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Chris</b> were trying to do up the house but he had no interest in it. So in an attempt to encourage him she’d say to him, “‘I’ll take the kids away for the holidays and you can paint the kitchen ceiling.’ When we came home he hadn’t done a thing. Also the more he eased off fathering the more did. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">What he dropped I would pick up and I became worn out</strong>. I got glandular fever, but didn’t rest up because I had five children.”</div>
<h3 style="font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: green; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Treats her like a servant by overburdening her with responsibility</span></strong></h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Donna</b> said, “<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Frank</b> needed a servant, I started off being a servant and then I became a slave because <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Frank</strong> needed and wanted to have a servant all the time. Everything in his life was about me, me, me, me, me, me and you are there to serve him, that is a woman’s place. I lost my life. My whole life became making him happy, picking up after him. There was no conversation. I served tea to him on a tray, wherever he chose to sit. I also made a joke of it…I was his slave, I used to wash him, I used to dress him, all of which he could do himself, I used to put his boots on for him and take his boots off for him.”</div>
<blockquote style="border-left-color: rgb(107, 39, 113); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 2px; color: #888888; margin: 0px 0px 27px 14px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 14px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Recent research shows that when men become dependent on their wives’ income, rather than take up the slack and do the housework and child care roles, the tendency is for the man to do less housework than he may have done previously.</strong>(6)</div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Victoria</b> gave one example of the many ways her husband <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Graham</b> refused to take up the slack when he was not working. “We were on the farm and I also held down a nursing job in town. So I would get up at 4 in the morning and go and milk the cows with him. I would come home and get my breakfast, put his breakfast on so it was on the stove when he got in, put his lunch in the crockpot and get the dinner out ready for tea then I’d go out to work. Then I’d come home after a day of working and I’d tidy up all the dishes, go out and milk the cows, then I’d come in at night and cook his tea and tidy up the dishes and go to bed. I mentioned to him one day how it might be nice if he could do the dishes during the day while I was at work, but not — <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">it was a woman’s job</strong>, so it wasn’t his responsibility, it was mine. So then I just shut up and did what I should be doing, but the one that always used to piss me off because I’d be really tired, working from 4 till 10.” <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Victoria</b> learned throughout her marriage that “there was no point arguing because you’re not going to get anywhere.” This was because whenever <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Victoria</b> asserted herself, <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Graham</b> would engage in the disruptive pattern of “disappearing for three days as a way of trying to get his own way”.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Victoria</b> never got respect or recognition from <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Graham</b> for “working 11 hours a day. He treated her as if she did not matter. In her attempt to hold the relationship together she thought, “if I just cleaned the house a bit better, maybe things would have been a bit better.”</div>
<h3 style="font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: green; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Acts like the ‘King of the castle’</span></strong></h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Not only does domestic slavery entail taking responsibility for activities that the controlling person refused to take responsibility for, it also entails telling her how to do it. For example,<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Heather</b> said, “<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</b> would be watching TV and I’d go and get our son’s bath ready and put the bath thing in and he’d come and say, ‘Oh you’ve put that in the wrong way,’ and he’d been sitting watching TV, while I’d been running around doing all these things, getting our son’s clothes ready, getting everything all organised and he never seemed to lift a finger.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Similar to the other women above,<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Raewyn</b> worked hard in her housewife and mother roles, but <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Brian</b> “would always say I did nothing around the place. ‘What have you done all day?’ So I would just work harder.”</div>
<h3 style="font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: green; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Untitled-7.jpeg" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;"><img alt="Untitled-7" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2059" height="616" src="http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Untitled-7.jpeg" style="border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; float: none; height: auto; margin: 0px auto 27px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: center; word-wrap: break-word;" width="480" /></a><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Enforces rigid gender role expectations — A good wife knows her place!</strong></span></h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</b> said when she and <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</strong> “first got married <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</strong> worked downstairs. We had a flat above his practice and I had to drive through the traffic to get to work. But <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">I would get up and I would set the table and put wheetbix on his plate, heat the milk up, make the tea, make sure everything was there, make sure his clothes were ironed ready, and rush round and get things ready because that’s what wives did, they looked after their husbands</strong>. Then they raced home after work and quickly got a meal together and put the meal on the table for their husband, that’s what they did and they did the washing and they did the housework — even if they were busy with a full time job — doing that stuff, that’s okay because that’s your job.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Some time later <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</b> encouraged <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</b> to take voluntary redundancy from working at the hospital. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</b> said “‘you don’t really have to work you just stay at home, cook and stuff’. I thought oh yeah, that sounds all right. He was, oh you know, ‘you can run the household basically, cook the meals, iron the shirts, and don’t worry about your job’. My mother was a very dedicated housewife so I thought’ ‘well this is what women are supposed to do’.”</div>
<h3 style="font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: green; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">In the 21st century, individuals in the Western world have choices.</span></strong></h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Everyone has the right to broaden their choices to extend beyond rigid stereotypes.</strong> The problem is not so much whether the man or woman earns the money, or whether the man or woman does the housework and cares for the children — the problem occurs when choices are taken away by an abusive and controlling partner. As stated in the Australian <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">It’s About Time</em> report:(4)</div>
<blockquote style="border-left-color: rgb(107, 39, 113); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 2px; color: #888888; margin: 0px 0px 27px 14px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 14px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
“Equality between men and women is central to resolving conflict between paid work and family/carer responsibilities.”(4)</div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
This requires us <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">all</em> to challenge the idea that it is normal and natural for the man to be in charge of the family and the woman to do as she is told. Men who coercively control their partners often believe it is not masculine to compromise or negotiate with their female partners. These ideas come from society and each of us can resist, challenge and change social messages. One place to start is by changing what healthy masculinity and femininity actually mean — we all have power and we all have times of feeling disempowered. Who decides that caring for a child and a home is not a powerful role? Who decides that earning money gives that person the right to abuse, use, coerce and have power over someone they supposedly love? We are all humans in this boat together — as humans we are all equal. If we all share the care and support of each family member we are valuing ourselves and others, now and in the long term.</div>
<h3 style="font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: green; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">References:</span></h3>
<ol style="margin: 0px 0px 27px 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Kimmel MS, Aronson A. Men and masculinities: A social, cultural, and historical encyclopedia. Santa Barbara, CA: ABC-CLIO; 2003.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Connell R. Masculinities. 2nd ed. Crows Nest, NSW, Australia: Allen & Unwin; 2005.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Tichenor V. Maintaining men’s dominance: Negotiating identity and power when she earns more. Sex Roles: A Journal of Research. 2005;53(3/4):191-205.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><a href="http://www.humanrights.gov.au/sites/default/files/content/sex_discrimination/its_about_time/docs/its_about_time_2007.pdf" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Squire S, Tilly J. It’s about time: Women, men, work and family — Final paper 2007. Sydney, Australia: Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission, 2007</a>.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Cha Y, Thébaud S. Labor markets, breadwinning, and beliefs: How economic context shapes men’s gender ideology. Gender and Society. 2009;23(2):215-43.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Meisenbach RJ. The female breadwinner: Phenomenological experience and gendered identity in work/family spaces. Sex Roles: A Journal of Research. 2010;62:2-19.</li>
</ol>
<h3 style="font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: purple; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Watch out for blogs on the following control tactics:</em></strong></span></h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/tactics-of-abuse/one-sided-power-games/" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">One-Sided power games</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/tactics-of-abuse/tactic-2mind-games/" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank" title="Tactic #2 Mind Games">Mind games</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/tactics-of-abuse/tactic-3-inappropriate-restrictions" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Inappropriate restrictions</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/fear-and-shame/isolation-tactic-of-control" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Isolation</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/masculinities/jealousy" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Over-protection & ‘caring’</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/psychological-abuse/emotional-unkindness-violation-of-trust" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Emotional unkindness & violation of trust</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/masculinities/degradation-suppression-of-potential" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Degradation & Suppression of Potential</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/crazymaking/post-separation-abuse" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Separation Abuse</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/child-custody/using-social-institutions-to-abuse-women" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Using social institutions & social prejudices</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/crazymaking/denial-minimising-blaming" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Denial, Minimising, Blaming</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/power-and-control/using-children" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Using Children</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/male-perpetrators/economic-abuse" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Economic abuse</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/masculinities/sexual-abuse" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Intimate Partner Sexual Abuse</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/power-and-control/intimidation-aggression" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Symbolic aggression</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/physical-violence/mens-motivations" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Physical violence</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/cyber-bullying" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Cyber Abuse</a></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-29395953752708765942014-10-08T19:31:00.002-07:002014-10-08T19:31:36.505-07:00Power and Control – Separation Abuse is part of an ongoing campaign of power and control.<div class="headline_area" style="background-color: #ededed; margin: 0px 0px 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<h1 class="headline" itemprop="name" style="color: #6b2771; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Sans', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 53px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Tactic #8 — Separation Abuse</h1>
<div class="byline small" style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="post_author_intro" style="font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">by</span> <span class="post_author" itemprop="author" style="letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;">CLARE MURPHY PHD</span> <span class="post_date_intro" style="font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">on</span> <span class="post_date" style="letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;" title="2012-07-30">JULY 30 2012</span></div>
<div class="byline small" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="post_date" style="letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;" title="2012-07-30"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/post-separation-abuse">http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/post-separation-abuse</a></span></span></div>
<div class="byline small" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="post_date" style="letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;" title="2012-07-30"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post_content" itemprop="articleBody" style="background-color: #ededed; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
This is the eighth of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel – Separation Abuse.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<a href="http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Power-control-wheel-8-Clare-Murphy-PhD.jpg" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1615" height="483" src="http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Power-control-wheel-8-Clare-Murphy-PhD.jpg" style="border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; float: none; height: auto; margin: 0px auto 27px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: center; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Power & control wheel #8 Clare Murphy PhD" width="480" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
It’s commonly assumed women should just leave their abusive partner, that she’s stupid for staying, and that if she left him, all her problems would be over. But this is far from the reality for many women. Often when women decide to leave, their partner promises to change.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Controlling men are guided by a belief system – that women are possessions, the man is the boss, that women should serve men’s needs, that what he says goes and his sense of entitlement means he is the one who is right. Based on this belief system, men respond to women’s challenges for him to change, by denying wrongdoing, minimising harm done, and deflecting responsibility by blaming the woman. Therefore, the act of apologising is often used as a manipulative strategy to stop women from leaving. Some men block her ability to leave by holding her captive, whilst others emotionally blackmail their partner by threatening suicide saying “you either take me back or I’ll kill myself” (1).</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Some men threaten to kill their partner, the children and her family. Women are most at risk of murder when they decide to leave or actually do leave. The main reason given by men who murder their wives is, not that she provoked him, but because they felt they had lost power and control over her (2). Such men believe they own their wife and children.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">This blog describes what many men do to women <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">after</em> they leave.</strong> <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Women are more at risk of post-separation abuse if they have children to the controlling man.</strong><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">So it also describes some ways men use children to maintain control over women.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Post-separation abuse is not something that only begins at separation – it is part of an ongoing campaign of power and control.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Many men escalate their tactics post-separation by engaging in stalking campaigns. Sometimes men’s stalking behaviours look like acts of love from an outsider’s viewpoint. For example some men leave notes on her car windshield, perform favours, leave flowers and other gifts and make phone calls. BUT . . . when all of these actions are<em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">adamantly</em> <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">not</em> <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">wanted</em> by the woman, and when favours are done <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">without her permission</em>, women feel violated, trapped and scared.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Other tactics include endless legal hearings aimed at diminishing her financial and emotional resources, <a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/power-and-control/using-children" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">using visits with the children as opportunities to harass the woman further</a>. Using social institutions to emotionally blackmail women. This tactic is achieved by threatening to go for custody of the children, or by negotiating for custody and property by creating a climate of fear. It’s also achieved by falsely accusing women of fraudulently receiving single parent government benefits, or of neglecting the children and reporting them to statutory agencies for investigation.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">When women experience psychological abuse and continually feel controlled, but never experience physical violence, most find their experience extremely difficult to label.</strong> <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> said, “When I was in the relationship I never would have labelled it as abuse, I just thought that was the way it was.” So she, like many women, was shocked and petrified when her ex-partner began stalking. Usually, women expect as <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana </strong>did that<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">“after divorce things settle, or we don’t have to deal with each other.” But she said, “It’s <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">not</em> like that <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">at</em> all for me.”</strong></div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Post-separation abuse tactics designed to get her back</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
The abuse<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Karen</strong> experienced throughout her relationship with <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Felix</strong> diminished when she first left. However, she said, “that was a deliberate attempt to get me back. Once that wasn’t working, it got very nasty. He can be Prince Charming with all the bells on and a very caring, supportive person and then he lost it completely and started smashing up cars on the motorway with his bullbars and it got very dangerous. Then I came home one day and the house was smashed up. But me leaving initially, everything toned down, and about a year after it got really bad.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Men who wish to win back control, try a range of tactics to achieve this</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana </strong>said<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Steven</strong> “goes against my needs and wishes. Everything’s about getting what he wants. Very overtly – ‘This is what I want, this is what I want, that way or no way’. And what he wants keeps changing mainly to go against what the norm is, what we agreed, or what the court told us we were going to do.” <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Steven’s</strong> abuse escalated over time with “Phone calls getting worse and worse. Affidavits got crazier and crazier. His abuse went from me and then it went to friends and family. The circle of who he abused got bigger and bigger.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Harasses her</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</strong> said that after she and <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</strong> split up, “He really did harass. He used to ring and ring and ring. In the end I’d take the phone off the hook coz I was so sick of it. Then he’d come knocking on the door.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Uses the legal system to maintain control</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Donna</strong> said, “There’s been many court hearings. We’d got to court and the judge would rule, ‘right the property has to be sold’. And then <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Frank</strong> would do the, ‘Give me three months and I’ll pay you’. So my lawyer goes, ‘Well you want your money so give him three months.’ Then I’d get a letter two weeks later saying ‘go to hell, you’re getting nothing, go away’. But then I’d have to wait for another year for a court date to come up.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Threatens to kill her</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana </strong>said her husband<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Steven </strong>“threatened to kill me. The moment that happened I called the police, I called the lawyers. I was concerned that he would try. It’s been ongoing court battles concerning access and custody. He believed that he was having access that weekend and I already told him prior to this conversation on the telephone that it wasn’t his weekend. He left a message on my answerphone saying that he was going to come and pick our daughter up. I called him back because I didn’t want him to make a fool of himself and travel and get stupid again. So I gave him a call and said, ‘No, it’s not your weekend’. Then he just threatened to get me killed. It was really bizarre. It was shit. It wasn’t good.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan </strong>said her lawyer who did the protection order for her said, “‘it takes seven years to get out of a relationship’ and it was seven years of trying backwards and forwards. That really surprised me because you think get out of a relationship and it’s over, but it’s<em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">definitely</em> not over when you’ve got children.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Anne McMurray interviewed men and women about the experience of separating parents who did not gain custody of their children. One of the men described a common motivator that drives some men to abuse and control their female partner after she leaves: “You spend a year ‘score levelling,’ having conquests, not relationships. You inwardly cheer when an estranged wife is shot – like a victory – a chalk that one up.” (3)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> said <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David’s</strong> responses to her leaving were, ‘anger, anger, anger lots of anger, lots of put downs, lots of undermining. He used to threaten me about having affairs, ‘If you try anything like that I’d give you the lead treatment.’ I wasn’t scared he’d shoot me but I was scared he could hurt me. He didn’t have a gun.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elsie </strong>said that, “Every duck shooting I get scared. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Leon</strong> shoots where I live, so I always get scared that I’ll bump into him, so I usually hide for the duck shooting months. When I left him he said he’d get me. At the same time I don’t think he would. I think he’s too much of a coward.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Misuses the custody order</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth </strong>said that one of the things in her custody order was that <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</strong> provide clothes for the children when they were at his place. She said that David, “decided he wasn’t going to do that anymore and they had to bring clothes from my place and they didn’t want to do that coz it means packing their bags and toing and froing. So one of the girls decided that she didn’t want to go to dad’s any more so she stayed at my place. The other one decided she still wanted to go to dad’s, but she didn’t want to take clothes. She went there one weekend, didn’t take clothes, he dumped her back. So neither of them went for a while. My oldest son is now living with me coz he got kicked out of his dad’s coz he started to speak up for himself just the way I did and of course they didn’t agree with each other so he got kicked out. It was meant to be punishment ‘go and live at your mother’s’. Now my son’s decided he is not going back there so there is a whole lot of drama going on there now. Now it’s, ‘you’ve got custody, I <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">pay</em> you to look after these children.’ It’s like, ‘We haven’t got a court order, if it doesn’t suit me I don’t have to have them.’ So the orders suit him when they suit him and they don’t when they don’t.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Inflexible over child sharing arrangements</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> talked further about ways <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</strong> used the custody order to maintain control over her. She said that his attitude had been to <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">“</strong>always totally <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">stick</em> to the order, <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">no</em> flexibility. At one stage I had to go into hospital for a few days during the school holidays, and of course we split the holidays it was in the order. I suggested we just swap the weeks over so that while I was in the hospital the children were with him and that I would have them the following week. ‘No, no, no, no you need to make your own arrangements we’re sticking to the order.’ The order was God. Then one day he decides ‘oh no I don’t really want that any more’. The good thing about the inflexibility was at least he was incredibly reliable, I could count on him to stick to it.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Uses the children to maintain power and control over her</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
After <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</strong> and Anthony split up, <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</strong> “threatened to take the children away. He threatened to get custody of them. I guess he figured with that he’d have control over me with the children. He’s done that a few times. He rung up one day and said ‘I’ve put something in the letterbox for the kids’. I sent the oldest out to the letterbox. She brings in this something. I opened it up and it was a vibrator. I quickly wrapped it up again and put it in the rubbish. The thing that got me was that he used the kids to pass it on to me.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Eight years after leaving her husband, <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> said “there is still stuff going on with the kids. He was going to have the kids for the first week of the holidays. And Thursday night, ‘Oh no it’s not convenient.’ I’d arranged to have a holiday, then suddenly, ‘hello here are the kids to look after’. So it’s like he still does this stuff.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Alienates the children from the mother</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth </strong>said, <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">“</strong>When I finally got into a place of my own <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</strong> wasn’t going to let me have the kids at all because I was the one that walked out. He would tell the kids, ‘Your mother doesn’t love you, why would she have left if she loved you, if she loved you she would still be here.’ Then the few things that I did take to put into my new place it was like, ‘Your mother stole those things from you.’ They’d come round and they would say, ‘What are you doing with that? You stole that from dad.’ He wouldn’t let me take any of their toys, their clothes, none of their bedding, nothing. I wasn’t allowed any of it. So they’d come around from this well setup house to my house I was renting, but they weren’t allowed any of their stuff. I had no money to buy them anything so they were there with paper and crayons.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Some men attempt to alienate the children from the mother by making accusations to statutory agencies that she has harmed the children, so whilst investigations proceed she is only allowed to see the children under supervised access. Many men tell their new wives that their ex-wife was abusive, is an unfit mother and some men recruit their extended family and friends into siding with him. I’ve counselled many women who have had such experiences and when they talk to the man’s previous wife or wives, they discover all the women have experienced the same forms of abuse and control.</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Uses the children as spies to gather information to use against her</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> had a new boyfriend, but did not live with him and she also had lazer surgery to her eyes. She was able to afford this because when she was still with David she had medical insurance, which she maintained after leaving him. But she said David said to the, “Is your mother a prostitute, how could she afford to get that done, is she sleeping with the guy?” Then David approached WINZ (the Work & Income government department who was paying her a single parent benefit). Elizabeth said, “WINZ then investigated me for trying to just jolly well get a few extra dollars here and there occasionally to try and keep the kids fed and clothed.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> lamented that <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</strong> was “there on his $200,000 a year salary begrudgingly paying child support, but I wasn’t seeing anything of it because you don’t when you’re on the benefit. And hauling me over the coals, because of meeting some guy who is prepared to come and give me a bit of help with this and that and the other and possibly get into a relationship with. And sending my own kids into the house to spy, to find out how many nights a week he stays, so it can be reported back to WINZ.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> found David’s treatment of her, and mis-use of the children “<em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Intolerable</em>. I have just <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">despaired</em> about it. I’ve never wanted to say to the kids, ‘don’t tell daddy this or don’t tell daddy that’, because I believe the kids should be able to speak freely and that whatever information either of us get about the other, we just put into a place and disregard it. He wouldn’t let the kids talk about me when they were at his place. Don’t talk about her at all I don’t want to hear about her. So the kids would have to start censoring what they were allowed to talk about, or if things would happen over there, ‘Don’t tell your mother.’ So I never wanted to get into that with my kids, because I didn’t think it was right. But then I am like, ‘well what do I do here?’ because yes I am seeing this guy, but I don’t want to say to them don’t tell daddy. So it’s like your values are constantly being undermined and compromised. Here’s someone coming into the inner sanctum of your bedroom as to who you spend time with and how often you might be sleeping with somebody, having that reported across town and through government agencies. Something that is <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">absolutely</em> and totally <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">private</em> and<em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> none of their bloody business</em>.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Economic abuse</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Teresa</strong> said <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Patrick</strong> abused her economically. He did this “by what he did with the house and by living in it for six or eight months without me and me still paying half his mortgage.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
After <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Donna</strong> moved away from <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Frank</strong> she said she had “the threat the whole time of, ‘If you make this happen I will make you bankrupt.’ But see I’ve told the truth and the whole truth and I truly believed the justice system would see me right but it hasn’t. He’s lied. Not once in his whole time has he ever had to prove anything he’s said. It’s just been accepted which blows my brains. And he’s said some horrific things about me.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
For <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Donna</strong>, the negative consequences of leaving <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Frank </strong>went on for years. For example, after <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Donna</strong> left the relationship, <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Frank</strong> went into debt. She said that, “Because he has now borrowed so much money and gone into so much debt, if I force the sale of the farm, by the time the debt’s paid there will be no money for <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">me. </em>Because the place is now a dump – and it was beautiful – now he’s telling the judge that it’s an absolute dump and the only thing left is for it to be bulldozed. I’ve had no access to any money where he has used my tax number in the business and now I owe the tax department $7,000. I owe the legal aid $7,500 and the Social Welfare $14,000, so yeah I come out of it not getting my money. The agreement was that he’ll pay me $10,000 and the legal fees, the legal aid will be tagged onto the property, but I still have to pay the tax department. So <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">every</em> direction you look I’ve lost. Lost, lost, lost, lost, lost.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> said, “there was an insurance policy that David had continued to pay that he decided was a mistake and he wanted me to pay back all this life insurance money. It took eighteen months to go through the whole legal process and ended up in the disputes tribunal and he didn’t get what he wanted. So, the very next day he is into the Inland Revenue Department with an administrative review for paying child support. It’s been this constant ‘what’s coming next, what’s he going to do this time?’”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
During the first few months after leaving her husband, <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> said <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</strong> “was wanting to settle the matrimonial property, so I said, ‘what would it take to get you to stop this terrible violence that was going on’ – verbal, not physical. He said, ‘Just agree to my proposal, sign the matrimonial property agreement and everything will be fine.’ Of course I just really wanted to believe that, so I said, ‘Okay’. And my lawyer said, ‘Well I still think we should…’ I said, ‘Look he said this thing will end if I sign this I don’t care about the money, I am going to sign it.’ He stayed in the house, my boys were pretty much living there, and I was out of the house. I had this access thing where I could go and see the boys after school. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">He broke his promise</strong>. The day the matrimonial property agreement was signed<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">he drives around in a new car and hands me a trespass notice, which effectively cut off my access to my boys</strong>. I know I was totally naïve, but I was devastated coz I thought ‘hang on a minute that’s not how it was meant to be.’</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Stalking aimed at driving her crazy</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Teresa </strong>elaborated on stalking tactics that <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Patrick</strong> used: “After I moved out he would watch me from his car. He’d park round the corner and spy on me. He would ring me up, leave 12 messages on my phone in a day. When he moved my stuff he got a key cut for my new house and I’d come home and there’d be stuff inside. He would have come in and done the dishes, or put flowers on the table, or folded the washing. I had a 30th birthday party and he wasn’t invited and he wanted to come and he asked if he could come and I said ‘No’, which was very selfish. He parked around the corner to watch to see who was coming and stayed there to see what time people left. He was a constant presence. When we were together we’d been on a weekend away one time and there was a sex shop there and we’d bought a vibrator. He came around to my house and took it because he didn’t want me to have any kind of pleasure if he wasn’t there to give it to me. He’d do was listen to my messages coz I’d kept the same pin number on the call minder and I’d ring up and I would have gone to work with zero messages and I’d come home and there’d be four saved messages.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
In response to <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Patrick’s</strong> stalking campaign, <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Teresa</strong> said, “I changed the pin number and I changed the lock and he was really pissed off. It was just awful, it was <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">absolutely</em> awful. I felt really powerless against it, I didn’t know what I could do about it and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings or be mean. I’d come home and pull all my curtains in the middle of the day so he couldn’t see me. In the kitchen there was a dishwasher space under the bench without a dishwasher in it and I had this <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">huge</em> urge for about two months that all I wanted to do was just crawl into that and just be in there because he wouldn’t be able to get me. I slept as well, my sleeping grew even more once I’d moved out coz he couldn’t get me when I was asleep, and I was doing something he didn’t know about.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Stalking campaigns aimed at undermining her sense of security</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Heather</strong> said <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</strong> was obsessed and infatuated with her. “He’d say, ‘I know where you’ve been today’. I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. I thought, ‘he knows I work these hours, he could easily wait up the road and watch where I go after work’. I found it quite strange and then some little things he’d say I started to think ‘maybe he does’. I started looking around the house thinking he might have little cameras there watching me. He’d say to me, ‘I could just about tell you when you had your last dump.’ I thought, ‘my God what a thing to say, maybe he’s got this place screened somehow and I didn’t know’. I thought ‘maybe he’s tapped the phone’. I started to get all these funny thoughts going through my head.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Heather </strong>thought, “‘I am having a baby with him, I’ve got to really think about that, we’ve got to remain friends’. Then he’d turn up at my door, ‘You can’t leave me standing out here, look your neighbours are looking.’ He’d put his foot in the door and say, ‘Let me in, I’ll just stand in here, let me just talk to you for a minute.’ I had 13 missed calls in an hour on my mobile. He was the only one that had my phone number. I’d just got it as a present from mum and dad for Christmas. I don’t know whether they knew something and wanted me to have it for an emergency. I actually got quite scared. He’d say, ‘I’ve been thinking about you all day. I’ve been moping around here all day hoping that you’d ring me.’ I thought ‘this isn’t healthy’.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Some women leave their partner, whilst others stay in their home and arrange for the man to leave. In the latter case, many men believe they still have the right to access that house whenever they want. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Pauline</strong> said <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Chris</strong> “would come into my house, and one day I came out of the shower with a towel around me, and came up the hallway and he was in my lounge and I just went ballistic. I said, ‘<em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Don’t</em> come into my house like that.’ It felt weird after being married and with him for so long to suddenly feel <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">creepy</em> that he had seen me in a towel that he could have seen me partially naked it felt so creepy.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Invades her privacy</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</strong> said that after she left <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony, “</strong>he took away my space by following me everywhere. I’m pretty sure that he tapped my phones, I know that he was under my house, I know that he was listening and watching outside the windows. There were lots of things he did when I was with him, but I didn’t think they were a problem until I left and it got worse. He drilled holes in my bathroom floor so he could spy and holes in my bedroom floor, big four inch square holes. He made those right where you get undressed. The last time that we split up my biggest fear was that he would rape me . . . I think if you cut holes in people’s floor and underneath the bathroom there was a glass and a stethoscope.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</strong> did a lot of the crying over <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony’s</strong> stalking behaviours. “When we had split up the last time and he was doing these things, I had my friends’ support. I locked myself in the house. I got a confidential number. I wouldn’t go anywhere alone. When I went up town I would find that he was usually across the road, or behind me, or in the shop. And the thing that’s really scary was, how did he know where I was going and what I was doing?”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Although some stalkers stalk women who are strangers, extensive research in USA highlights that most stalkers are women’s ex-partners. It is ex-intimate partners who are more persistent pursuers than are stalkers who are strangers (4).</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using the tactic of divide and conquer</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Teresa </strong>said, “<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Patrick</strong> said a lot of things about me to other people and he was careful about who he said it to. He didn’t say anything to my closest friends because they wouldn’t have listened. But to the people at work he did and he told a lot of lies to people. I couldn’t ever negate any of it, because I didn’t know it had happened until later.” <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Teresa</strong> had to work with <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Patrick</strong> for the next eight to 12 months. His abuse entailed ongoing “nastiness, always when other people weren’t around, and the charm when they were. So I’d think I was imagining it. It’s amazing what you think you imagine. When I look back now I think ‘how could I have thought that?’ but I did.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Separation abuse is extended to abuse against her supporters</strong></span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana </strong>said<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Steven “</strong>repeatedly called me a fascist and a bitch. Repeatedly. He intimidated a good friend in person. He came and destroyed bits around the house. He wrote affidavits, which were extremely damaging, not just to me but to the family, to his mother, brother. It started out I was a bad person, I was the one who was the bitch, but it went to all the people who supported my daughter and me as well. It was very hard because I cope much better with myself being the focus of the attacks and the intimidation, but when it generalised across to people I love and care for, that made it harder because I love them and I know how difficult it is for them to cope with that. They tried as much as they could to support me and help me and assist me, but now they have to keep themselves safe as well as try to help me.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">What does it mean for women who leave a partner after months or years of being controlled by him?</strong> </span>Some women become free of the abuse, but many women do not. Separation from such men does not always lead to a better life. If women share children with the abusive man, they may never fully be able to escape the grips of his possessive control, even when children become adults, the abuse can continue around shared family gatherings.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
These men are often very dependent on the woman they control. They believe that making her fearful will make her dependent. Men stalk, degrade, manipulate, harass, attempt to have their ex-partner criminalised, attempt to deplete her of her emotional and financial resources and attempt to block her ability to flourish, or enter a new relationship – because they want to limit her autonomy and independence. Attempting to make his ex-partner dependent on him is a strategic ploy aimed at getting her back. Other men want to punish her for humiliating him. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">When women leave, many men conclude that they have lost control over their possession and this humiliates them – as men – men who are socialised to be in control of “their” woman.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
For any woman who has lived with a man who has been consistently controlling over time, the act of deciding to leave, or actually leaving should not be taken lightly by onlookers or the woman herself. Of course not all of these men go on to maintain a stranglehold over their ex-partners – but many do – so it’s important for women to follow their gut instincts and tell the truth to themselves about such a possibility and make arrangements that take the reality of separation abuse into account.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> References:</strong></span></div>
<ol style="margin: 0px 0px 27px 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Hearn, Jeff. (1998). <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0803979398?ie=UTF8&tag=speakoaboutps-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0803979398" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">The Violences of Men: How Men Talk About and How Agencies Respond to Men’s Violence to Women</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=speakoaboutps-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0803979398" style="border: none !important; display: block; height: auto; margin: 0px !important; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" width="0" />. London: Sage</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Mahoney, Martha R. (1991). Legal images of battered women: Redefining the issue of separation. <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Michigan Law Review, 90</em>(1), 1-94.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">McMurray, Anne M. (1997). Violence against ex-wives: Anger and advocacy. <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Health Care for Women International, 18</em>(6), 543-556.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Craven, Zoe. (2001). Book Review: Stalkers and their Victims: Newsletter No. 6 – Australian Domestic & Family Violence Clearinghouse.</li>
</ol>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-11147293913770438412014-10-08T19:28:00.002-07:002014-10-08T19:28:46.022-07:00Using Social Institutions and Social Prejudices to Maintain Power & Control Over Women<div class="headline_area" style="background-color: #ededed; margin: 0px 0px 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<h1 class="headline" itemprop="name" style="color: #6b2771; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Sans', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 53px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Tactic #9 — Using Social Institutions and Social Prejudices</h1>
<div class="byline small" style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="post_author_intro" style="font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">by</span> <span class="post_author" itemprop="author" style="letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;">CLARE MURPHY PHD</span> <span class="post_date_intro" style="font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">on</span> <span class="post_date" style="letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;" title="2013-02-15">FEBRUARY 15 2013</span></div>
<div class="byline small" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="post_date" style="letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;" title="2013-02-15"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/using-social-institutions-to-abuse-women">http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/using-social-institutions-to-abuse-women</a></span></span></div>
<div class="byline small" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="post_date" style="letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;" title="2013-02-15"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post_content" itemprop="articleBody" style="background-color: #ededed; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
This is the ninth of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel – Using Social Institutions and Social Prejudices.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<a href="http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Power-control-wheel-9-Clare-Murphy-PhD.jpg" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><img alt="Power & control wheel #9 Clare Murphy PhD" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1709" height="483" src="http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Power-control-wheel-9-Clare-Murphy-PhD.jpg" style="border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; float: none; height: auto; margin: 0px auto 27px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: center; word-wrap: break-word;" width="480" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Many perpetrators of psychological abuse use social, health, legal and other institutions such as child protection services as arenas to further their coercive control over their intimate partner.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
They use the legal system endlessly to stop their partners from leaving, or to stop them from moving town or country, they do dodgy things to implicate their partner so she will get a criminal record, and perpetrators with financial resources engage women in drawn-out, frequent court battles over property, or over day-to-day care and contact with children. They also use loopholes in the government agency system to avoid paying child support and many use religious ideologies as a tool to keep women and children in line.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Perpetrators who use coercive control also use male privilege and entitlement believing that they “own” their partner, that she must obey and serve them. The good news is that some perpetrators seek help to stop abusing their partner by attending stopping violence programmes. The bad news is that many men then use that programme to further control women. I’ll explain what is meant by all of this below.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Of all the women I interviewed for my Masters research, <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana</b> had experienced the least amount of psychological abuse. However, it was a different matter after she divorced her husband — he threatened to kill her and began to use social institutions as a vehicle to establish power and control over her. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana</b> said,<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> </b>“I think what pisses him off is that I was always in control of my life. The only thing he can get at me with is through our daughter, using the system he can control me.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
How is it possible for perpetrators of psychological abuse to use social institutions to further their coercive control when there may actually be good quality legislations and dedicated well-trained professionals who work hard to protect victims of abuse? Well — there are flaws in the systems — which means some policies, legislations and professional practices can lead to colluding with perpetrators by not holding them accountable for their actions, and can lead to blaming the victims. One of the flaws in the system is a lack of staff training in the dynamics of coercive control in the context of intimate partner abuse. Women I interviewed for my Masters research and men I interviewed for my PhD research tell their stories below….</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using the Legal System to stop women from moving town or country</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana </b>regretted moving from the UK to New Zealand with her partner <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Steven.</b> His controlling behaviours increased when they arrived back into his home territory. After their separation <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Steven</b> became abusive in the extreme — he threatened to kill her. For hers, and her daughter’s <a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/helping-women/safety-tips-for-leaving-a-controlling-partner" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">safety</a>, <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana</b> wanted to take her daughter back to the UK. However, she could not leave “because he doesn’t want our daughter to leave the country, therefore I can’t leave with her. I wouldn’t leave without her, so I have to be here. I’m quite happy and settled here and doing what I’m doing, but my freedom is totally cut down. I don’t have the freedom to even move towns because he would prevent me. I would have to go to court. It would probably take a year before I could move. He wouldn’t allow me to. It’s the court who would possibly allow me to.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Heather</b> became pregnant when she was in the process of applying for university. She knew she wanted to leave <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke </b>and pursue an education, so was going to have an abortion. But <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</strong> had High Court papers served on her and the hospital to prevent the abortion. This institutional response fueled <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke’s</b> fire, which enabled him to become even more controlling. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Heather</b> wanted to take out a protection order, so that if he breached it, the police would have rights to intervene and arrest him. However, <a href="http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/PO1007/S00173.htm" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">the lawyer insisted she take out an “undertaking” instead</a>. This is one way that the legal system fails to protect victims of intimate partner abuse. An “undertaking” is only a promise — it does not give the police legal rights to arrest a perpetrator of abuse when he breaches his undertaking. The legal system enabled <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</b> to breach the undertaking. He did this by approaching <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Heather</b>in the street and also when she dropped her son off at the agency who provided supervised contact. Each time <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</b> approached <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Heather</b> he begged her for more contact with their son, he cried and swore at her. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Heather</b> had been wanting to move towns with her son to pursue a new life away from the abuse, but <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</strong> used the legal system to prevent her from doing so.</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using the Legal System to fight for custody of children, with the underlying aim of maintaining power and control over the children’s mother</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</b> and <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</b> attended a mediation conference where an arrangement was made for <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</b> to have the children three or four days a week and <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</b> would have them for the other three or four days. Such shared care is very disruptive and destabilising for children. Elizabeth said no-one was enjoying it. So <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth </b>“tried to talk to <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</b> about ‘What can we do about this? Can we try this, can we try that?’ He wasn’t interested. In the end the kids were really unhappy and she just said, ‘I am just not going to do this any more’ and of course it forced all the legal eagles to get together and deal with it.” <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</strong> was a wealthy professional so had the financial resources to use the legal system to continue to coercively control his ex-wife.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</b> said, “The judge made the decision which was a much more viable arrangement, which David was really angry about. He still wanted to go to court for custody and of course I am on legal aid. I’ve paid altogether over $25,000 on legal fees, $13,000 I still owe. We worked our guts out to try and get some negotiation before we went to court about custody. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">He would <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">not</i> respond, he would <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">not</i> negotiate</b>. As far as he was concerned he was going to get what he wanted and he was <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">really</i> pissed off when he didn’t. He said, ‘I paid all this money to get what I wanted and I still haven’t got it.’ He was really angry about that. But <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">I think part of him continuing to push for doing everything legally was because it would cost me a lot of money — money that I don’t have</b>.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Coercive tactics that lead to the victim getting a criminal record</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth </b>said <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</b> took “up this trespass order when the property settlement came through. A few weeks later I was caught up with my car, and I was going to be late, and he was going to be picking the kids up from my place. I tried to get him at work and tried to get him at home quickly but couldn’t get hold of him. So I rang my neighbour to say, ‘If he turns up can you let him know that I will drop the kids at his place.’ I did what I could to get the message to him. He was <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">absolutely</i> furious. So I dropped my kids there and then rang up a bit later to say, ‘I am really sorry about what happened I tried to get hold of you.’ He hung up on me. At that stage I was really angry, because I thought it was important that he and I have some communication because of the children, so I went around to apologise and say, ‘We need to sort something out here, like there are going to be times when one or either of us is not going to be able to meet a time. What are we going to do in that situation? This isn’t going to work.’ But, he called the cops, had me arrested for trespassing. The kids see the cops take me out of what was our home, off in a police car. Anyway I explained the situation to the cops. They said, ‘Don’t worry about it, we’ll go and get your car, we’ll have a word with the guy, I’m sure he doesn’t really want to press charges.’ They came back — ‘Yes he does want to press charges. Don’t worry about it we’ll get diversion, first offence.’ But for diversion the complainant has to agree. He wouldn’t agree to me having a diversion coz he wanted me to have a criminal record. I had about three court appearances, and my lawyer<i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">eventually</i> got it to the point where, I think he knew David years ago, and he rang off the record and said, ‘Hey listen mate I wouldn’t do this if I were you.’ Eventually got him to change his mind and I got diversion. But he was prepared to take it to the absolute limit.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</b> engaged in tactics that wrongfully led <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</b> to be investigated and prosecuted for fraud. After<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Susan </b>separated from <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</b> she did not have a car so he would take her to get the groceries. Her overlocker was not working so <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</strong> took it into town.<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</strong> said that when he came home he said, “It’s not worth fixing, but they’ll give you so much for a trade-in if you want to buy a new one”. So <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</strong> agreed. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</b> told me: “This is how naïve and trusting I was. He brought me home a new overlocker. It was in his name. He put me down as being his spouse. He put my address as being his address. When he got his cell phone he did the same thing. He put me down as being his spouse.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Unfortunately for <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</b> the government department that provides financial support to single parents contacted her saying, “’You know you’ve been living with <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</b> while you’ve been on the single parent benefit.’ She said they had all this evidence that said I was with him because he’d put me down as being his spouse. I said ‘I wasn’t with him’, but they said, ‘He used to take you to town. You used to drive his car’. I said ‘Yeah, but that doesn’t mean that we’re together.’ Anyway, I didn’t know the overlocker was in his name until the last time we split up and I got done for fraud. I said we weren’t a couple. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</strong> was telling everybody that we were a couple. That really hurts. I thought I’d got out from him, but he’s still doing these things to make it look good. I hated him. I hated the things he’d done to us, to the low level that he’d brought us down to.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using the Government Agency that provides financial benefits to single parents</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
After she was divorced,<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Elizabeth </b>spent some time on the single parent benefit whilst caring for her children. During that time she was having a casual relationship with a<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> </b>man. When parenting of children is shared, it is inevitable that children chat to the other parent about what happens at the other house. However, <a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/power-and-control/using-children" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">many perpetrators of coercive control use children</a> to find out information that they then use as ammunition to continue controlling their ex-partner. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> said one time when her son came to her place to stay he asked her, “How many nights a week does Stewart stay mum?” <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> said, “Next thing there’s an investigation by the fraud squad of [the government agency that provides the benefit].” The fraud squad asked, “We believe you have a partner now, what’s his name, when does he stay here, is it a relationship?” <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</strong> was angry, saying this government agency “would rather that you were f***ing a different guy every night than seeing one person who was giving you a bit of moral support or having sex once every three months.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</b> said <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David’s</b> accusations to the department that provided the benefit meant that “To stay on the single parent benefit was a challenge, it’s happened twice. In fact the first time was when I was doing some odd jobs from time to time, helping a friend with her business. Anyway the next thing I’ve got the fraud investigation people. Pretty much all of the work that I was doing I was declaring, and the next thing I’ve got them on my case, ‘Did you do work at this place, did you sell this, do that, dah, dah dah dah dah?’ If I did cleaning jobs the kids used to come with me. They told <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</b> and David collated all the information that the kids got and gave to him and sent it to the government agency.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using the Government Agency that manages child support payments by separated parents</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
After couples separate, perpetrators of coercive control often find loopholes in the system and use that gap to pay minimal money towards supporting their children, or they may pay nothing at all. Men I interviewed for my PhD said not all men have a problem with paying child support, but some men do. Some controlling intimate partners do not have the best interests of the children at heart. As James said, many men believe “they’re controlled by a government agency over the kids that maybe they feel they own themselves… It’s a loss of control thing, their own personal property.” Lazarus knew the loopholes in the system. He said, “as soon as they start taking money out of my wages, I quit and change jobs … probably every eight months.” This, meant the system’s policy did not oblige him to pay for a period of time. Children involved in such a climate of control are negatively impacted in various ways, for example, not being able to afford to attend school camps and so miss out on healthy social bonding, physical challenges and may develop anxiety, depression or delinquent behaviour problems.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Some perpetrators of coercive control threaten their ex-partners by telling her that if she pursues child support payments from him, he will use the legal system to push for shared custody of the children which would then mean he would not be obliged to pay child support. This is frightening for women victims of coercive control because most women will do what ever it takes to keep their children safe. In their book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1412972051/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1412972051&linkCode=as2&tag=speakoaboutps-20" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics (SAGE Series on Violence against Women)</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=speakoaboutps-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1412972051" style="border: none !important; display: block; height: auto; margin: 0px !important; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" width="0" />Lundy Bancroft and Jay Silverman draw from their clinical work with men that shows many perpetrators of intimate partner abuse do not engage in healthy fathering practices and many push for custody or contact with children partly as a tactic of maintaining control over the woman, not because they want to develop a warm relationship with their children.</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using Child Protection Services to coercively threaten the children’s mother</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</b> said that, “One time <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</b> rang and said that a child protection social worker rang and wanted him to go in. When he came back he said someone’s reported that our daughter’s been sexually molested. He said, ‘It’s your father.’ I found that really odd that they didn’t contact me, that he had to just go in without having a set appointment time and that he could take our son with him. Anyway I said, ‘So you don’t want dad looking after our daughter?’ He said, ‘No that’s alright, but they’re going to contact the kindy’. I was absolutely distraught because my dad has a lot to do with my kids. I fully believed <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</strong>knew what he was bloody saying. I went to the kindy and asked if they’d been contacted by the child protection service social workers. They said, ‘No’ and would let me know if they were. When I did talk to the social worker she said, ‘We had an anonymous person whose given the names and ages of the children.’ The ages weren’t right. She said it was a man. She said, ‘We don’t follow up on these ones they’re very low priority’. It pretty much was<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</strong> that was doing this, because if there’s an investigation saying that my father’s molesting our daughter, then what happens, the kids get taken away. Of course he fully denies that he’d done it.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Luckily, in <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan’s</strong> case, the child protection services did not remove Susan’s daughter. However, many perpetrators of coercive control threaten their partners saying they will inform child protection services that they are an unfit parent. Unfortunately sometimes the child protection system colludes with perpetrators and engages in mother blaming, partly because of a lack of staff training and understanding of the dynamics of coercive control.</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using Religion to establish and maintain power and control</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Some men use religious ideologies to justify controlling their partners, by for example telling her she has to obey him because the Bible says so. They may use religion to stop their partner from leaving by saying that God does not allow divorce. Eva Lundgren (1995) interviewed fundamentalist Christian couples in Scandinavia. One man believed that keeping his wife in line was very important because it meant keeping the “pattern of nature” and meant he was following God’s plan. Part of the men’s aim for using the Bible as a guide was to enforce rigid gender roles for women, so that the more feminine they perceived their partners to be the more masculine this made them feel — a feeling which makes some men feel more strong, secure and superior.</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using Social Prejudices as weapons to degrade and control women</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Some perpetrators of psychological abuse use social prejudices to reinforce their power. They may do this by drawing on a range of social hierarchies. Social hierarchies only exist because people decide who is superior and who is inferior. Here’s what I mean….</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
He may draw on the gender hierarchy that men are more superior than women and tell their partner she deserves abuse because she’s ‘just’ a woman.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
He may draw on the race hierarchy that ranks white people as ‘better than’ and tell her she’s ‘just’ a Mäori, or ‘just’ a Black woman, or ‘just’ an Indian/Aborigine/Hispanic, and so forth.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
He may draw on the hierarchy that classifies some age groups as having more rights and privileges, saying she’s ‘just’ a kid.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
He can find many social messages that place him at the top of any hierarchy related to work and finances. He may be a breadwinner, earn more money than his partner, have wealth in his extended family, work as a lawyer, etc. — such positions are accompanied with kudos, status, respect and a sense of entitlement. She may engage in activities classified low on the hierarchy such as be a ‘stay at home mum’, do volunteer work, or work in paid employment as a cleaner — such positions tend to afford less respect and can be viewed as inferior…. In these circumstances, some men use their socially superior position to degrade, use and control their partners. They may do this by saying to their partners: “you don’t have any right to make decisions because you don’t have a ‘real’ job”, “you’re ‘only’ a mother”, “you have no money so you’ll get nowhere without me”. Then if a woman is dependent on her partner financially and she leaves him, he may further abuse her by engaging her in repeated and lengthy child custody and property battles, or may refuse to assist her and the children financially. Such unjust degradation can make women vulnerable to ongoing coercive control partly because what their partner tells them makes commonsense, because so many people have not learned to critique socially constructed concepts such as social hierarchies. The idea of equality between spouses flies out the window.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Other social prejudices perpetrators draw from include hierarchies relating to physical and psychological abilities — they may say to a disabled wife: “you will never amount to anything, you can’t even walk out the door”. Or they may use body image as a source of degradation by calling their partner “a fat slob”, and they may call a partner who does not have high level of education “a dumb bitch”. As Victoria points out below, all of these comments reinforce messages that surround all of us all the time.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Whenever<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Graham</b> made snide remarks about <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Victoria’s</b> size, he’d trivialise the negative impact on Victoria by saying, “Oh but it’s only a term of endearment”. Victoria said “I knew I was big, so it destroyed me a little bit more”. To cope with the abuse <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Victoria</strong> said, “I didn’t try to change my size because my weight is about safety. If I am overweight, I am fat, if I’m fat I’m ugly, if I’m ugly I’m safe, so I eat to keep safe. If you stop eating, you lose weight, people say ‘oh you’re looking good’, then you get abused. I ate because I was hurting. To get over the pain I eat.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Some women learn that if they challenged their husband’s controlling behaviours, this would cause him to find more and more ways to maintain control by degrading them.</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using Social Prejudices that stigmatise mental illness</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
In our society, being healthy and well is considered worthy of praise, while having a mental illness and taking medication such as antidepressants is often stigmatised. Some people use these unjust social ideas as weapons to abuse and control others — by attempting to sway how the victim perceives themselves. Perpetrators who are hell-bent on diminishing their partner’s wellbeing may attempt to convince her that she needs a psychiatrist, or threaten to have her hospitalised for a mental illness. During the course of her seven year relationship with <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Dylan</strong>, <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Sally</strong> became depressed as a consequence of his incessant controlling behaviours. When she started taking antidepressants he said to her that her depression was the crux of their relationship problems. An effect of intimate partner coercive control can lead to the victim feeling as if they are going crazy — feeling as if they’re going insane or have indeed gone mad.</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using Women’s Immigrant Status as a weapon of power and control</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Immigrants are vulnerable to abuse by their partner because they may not yet have a work permit, they may lack language skills in a foreign country, they may not know what services are available to them or how the systems work. Many women are sponsored into the country by their partner, which increases her dependence on him. There are various loopholes in the immigration systems that leave women who are victims of domestic violence very vulnerable and powerless.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Perpetrators use women’s immigration status as a weapon of control. They may constantly threaten to cancel their sponsorship of her, they may refuse to help her fill in the forms to get an extension to her work permit, some men threaten to have her deported and they use the legal system to get a court order preventing the removal of the children from the country. Thus children are left in the care of the abusing parent and grieve the loss of bond with the non-abusing parent who has been deported. Some perpetrators cancel their sponsorship, so that the woman’s application to reside in the country cannot go ahead. One Chinese woman, in a New Zealand study of women’s experience of Protection Orders, said her husband repeatedly told her, “I’ve been in this country for so long I know how things work. ‘I am telling you …’” Whenever she contradicted him he would yell: “You stupid Chinese. I’m going to call the immigration service right now and you’ll be out of here!” (Robertson and colleagues 2007:191) Some men will say to their partner ‘what do you know, you weren’t born here’, or ‘you can’t even speak English properly’. Such statements may not sound degrading to an outsider, but in the context of ongoing power and control they are statements that punch hard at immigrant women’s emotional wellbeing.</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using Male Privilege and Entitlement</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Men I interviewed for my PhD talked about the kinds of privilege, entitlement and accompanying beliefs that drove their controlling behaviour towards their partners. These beliefs included the idea that men ‘own’ women, and that women are possessions who should serve and obey men. For example,<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Bill</b> said:</div>
<blockquote style="border-left-color: rgb(107, 39, 113); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 2px; color: #888888; margin: 0px 0px 27px 14px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 14px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
“I can do what I want but you gotta do what I tell you to. That’s the way I’d see 90 percent of marriages, from a man’s point of view.”</div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Many couples have their money, house and car in both spouses’ names. Regardless of this, as <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</b> and <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Sally</b> said, their husbands used to repeatedly say the money, house and car belonged to them and not the woman.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elsie</b> said, “I was just something that he owned in every facet, whether it be sex or when friends are there, or if I was cooking, or doing some work, or whatever, it was nothing. Nothing I did was ever valued.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
When <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Pauline</b> and <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Chris</b> married, he chose the marriage vows — that led to <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Pauline</strong>promising to obey <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Chris</strong>. In line with the belief that women should obey men, <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Chris</strong> had sexist attitudes towards all women. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Pauline</strong> said that when Miss World was on TV <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Chris</strong>would sit under the TV and look up. She said he had the attitude that all women are “tits and bums”.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Max</b> said women should:</div>
<blockquote style="border-left-color: rgb(107, 39, 113); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 2px; color: #888888; margin: 0px 0px 27px 14px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 14px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
“Do as the man says. We can be very domineering. We want it our way. Our way or the highway, girl.… A lot of men do want to rule the roost, like, ‘I went to work, I paid for f***ing this, I’ve been working all week, get home to this shit’!”</div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Research with men who abuse women finds that those men justify their abuse by blaming women for failing to serve them as men.<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Geni, </b>a man I interviewed said, “I would think the majority of men would think the wife is like the doting little servant, slave, there to do everything. But a lot of men come home from work in his suit and drops the briefcase and he expects the beer there and the meal on the table.”</div>
<h2 style="font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 41px 0px 14px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #993366; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Using Stopping Violence Programmes and Anger Management Programmes to further control women</span></h2>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Thankfully there are perpetrators of intimate partner abuse who seek help to change. Unfortunately though, research shows that many men use stopping abuse programmes and anger management programmes as yet another avenue to control their current or ex-partner. The ways men do this include telling her how lucky she is because his behaviours are “nothing” compared with other men’s, or by misinterpreting the training and twisting the definition of what constitutes coercive control by telling her that her behaviours are controlling, or by learning how to use a wider range of control tactics. Men who learn to take “time out” as an anger management strategy, can misuse this by not returning to resolve issues, or they may put the woman in charge of ensuring he takes time out. Many women get confused when their coercively controlling partner accuses them of being controlling. Yes everyone uses controlling behaviours in some form at some time — BUT…. There’s a big difference between destructive and constructive use of controlling behaviours. I write about this in the blog on <a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/crazymaking/denial-minimising-blaming" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Denial, Minimising, Blaming</a>, and in my blog on the <a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/psychological-abuse/abusive-vs-healthy-relationships" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">difference between “healthy” relationships and relationships where there’s “one-sided” power and control</a>.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-91980952253120828052014-10-08T19:25:00.000-07:002014-10-08T19:25:12.324-07:00Tactic #11 — Power and Control, Using the Children<br />
<div class="headline_area" style="background-color: #ededed; margin: 0px 0px 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<h1 class="headline" itemprop="name" style="color: #6b2771; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Sans', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 53px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Tactic #11 — Using the Children</h1>
<div class="byline small" style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="post_author_intro" style="font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">by</span> <span class="post_author" itemprop="author" style="letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;">CLARE MURPHY PHD</span> <span class="post_date_intro" style="font-style: italic; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">on</span> <span class="post_date" style="letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;" title="2013-04-11">APRIL 11 2013</span></div>
<div class="byline small" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="post_date" style="letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;" title="2013-04-11"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/using-children">http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/using-children</a></span></span></div>
<div class="byline small" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="post_date" style="letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; word-wrap: break-word;" title="2013-04-11"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post_content" itemprop="articleBody" style="background-color: #ededed; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
This is the eleventh of 16 blogs discussing the patterns of tactics from my power and control wheel — Using the Children.<a href="http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Power-control-wheel-11-Clare-Murphy-PhD.jpg" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><img alt="Power & control wheel #11 Clare Murphy PhD" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1812" height="483" src="http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Power-control-wheel-11-Clare-Murphy-PhD.jpg" style="border: 0px; clear: both; display: block; float: none; height: auto; margin: 0px auto 27px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: center; word-wrap: break-word;" width="480" /></a>Ways men use the children to maintain power and control or to punish their partner or ex-partner include demanding that she do all the childcare, making her feel guilty about the children, telling her he wouldn’t lose his temper if she kept the children quieter. Some men undermine her relationship with the children, for example when she sets clear boundaries he will then tell the children they’re allowed to do the thing their mother had said ‘no’ to. Some men also undermine her parenting by telling her she’s a bad parent and by purposefully belittling her in front of the children.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Some men use the children by threatening to take them away or kidnap them if his partner leaves him, or they threaten to have the children taken into care of child protection services or they threaten to harm the children, or actually do harm the children.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Women with children are more likely to be abused by their partner than are women without children.<a href="http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/using-children#_ENREF_1" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Humphreys, 2007 #3160"><sup style="color: #888888; line-height: 0.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">1</sup></a> When men do abuse their partner this increases the likelihood he will abuse the children — physically, sexually, psychologically. And the more frequent the abuse towards their partner, the higher the chance the children will be abused too.<a href="http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/using-children#_ENREF_2" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Baker, 2004 #3367"><sup style="color: #888888; line-height: 0.5em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">2</sup></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Many men who coercively control their partner use children as weapons to get at her, control her, and keep her in her place.</span></strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Quite soon after starting her relationship with <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</b>,<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Heather</b> did not want to be with him because he was abusing her. She wanted to leave and do her teaching degree, however she got pregnant, but did not want to share a child with <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</b>, so she told him she was going to have an abortion. However, fitting with his possessive attitude, he did not want her to have an abortion so he served High Court papers on her to prevent her from having an abortion. However, as <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Heather</b> said, “He actually dropped the court case. I just got to read the papers recently through the hospital because he tried to sue the hospital as well. I thought he was so powerful and I just couldn’t mess with him. Even when I had our son he said in one of the affidavits that ‘she’s going back to work, that she obviously doesn’t want our son, so I’ll have him those times’. So if I went back to any work of any sort of description where he thought I was neglecting our son he would be on me. I never went out because he’d say, ‘you’re not going out leaving our son with your parents’. Yet he would never offer to look after him while I went out.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Despite <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</b> seeming to want to have a child, this was not his actual motivation for trying to prevent the abortion. Many men with possessive attitudes use the children to maintain power and control over their partner. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Heather</b> discusses <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke’s</b> attitude after they separated: “He made comments like ‘I wish you loved me like you love our son’. If I went to town he would grab the pram and say, ‘I know that when I’ve got our son you won’t go far away.’ He’d say, ‘If I had our son you’d come and live with me because you wouldn’t be away from him.’ I went and said to the counsellor, ‘I don’t want to be with Luke’. I said I want it so we have smooth running, we’ve got this child now, I want to get on with my life and<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</b> to get on with his and sort out some sort of arrangement until our son’s older, whether he comes and visits him at my place, or we meet on a Sunday afternoon until he’s old enough to be taken on his own. I want to remain friends so it’s easier for our son. But then<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Luke</b> had me on his own and said ‘there’s no way we can be friends. I’m not going to be friends with you if you’re not going to live with me’.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Pauline</b> describes how <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Chris</b> used the children to manipulate and maintain control over her, claiming that he could <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">not</i> spend time with his children because he’d rather spend time elsewhere. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Pauline</b> said <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Chris </b>wouldn’t agree to an access order for the children, so when they were in the Court, “he said, ‘No court or judge is telling me what to do.’ So we had it on agreement and he walked out of court and he turned around and said, ‘Stick your fucking agreement.’ He said, ‘I can’t have the kids, I want to go to Rotary gatherings.’ Contact with the children has been very much to his timetable.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Many men use the children in an attempt to punish their partner. And the children are negatively impacted as a result.</span></strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Raewyn</b> also discussed how her husband <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Brian</b> would use the children as a tool to prevent her from getting her needs met.<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> Raewyn</b> said, “Once I’d left he would play games about having the children because he knew I wanted a break and he would almost bribe me and say ‘Raewyn let’s talk about marriage and why this has happened and then I’ll see if I want to have the children’. He’s still doing it now. He’s using the children to get at me and they suffer. I suffer because I don’t get my break, but they suffer the most because if he’s not happy with me he doesn’t have them. It’s not so bad but he doesn’t have them very regularly. He could go a whole school-term and not see them. I know he does this because he told a mutual friend of ours because she asked him ‘why don’t you have the children regularly every second weekend?’ He said, ‘No way I don’t want to make it easy for her, so she can have a nice weekend with her lover.’</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</b> said, “I had applied for a protection order, but my lawyer was so slow and didn’t think there was anything to worry about. <a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/helping-women/homicide-suicide" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">But <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</b> had left a suicide note and he left it to the kids</a>. I read it before the kids saw it. I was a nervous wreck. Imagine if the kids had seen this and what it would have done to them. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</b> doesn’t give up. I ended up going to a women’s refuge because I didn’t feel safe at all. I spent five days at women’s refuge. I had to take a week off work. The kids were so confused about things. They weren’t happy being there. I said to him I can’t go on, I’ve found myself a house to rent.” But <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</b> lived in a rural area and had no transport, so the new house was close which meant <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Anthony</b> could see it. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Susan</b> said, “it was the only empty house there and I had that thing that I had to have the kids close to him because he’d say, ‘<a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/child-custody/using-social-institutions-to-abuse-women" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">My kids have to be with me or else I’ll fight you for custody</a>’.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Men who use coercive control against their partner, know the woman’s vulnerabilities. The love and protection that many women have for their children is one area that those men use after separation to continue coercive control.</span></strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
After <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Raewyn</strong> left <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Brian</strong>, “He actually went away, overseas, for quite a while, ten months, so it was all pretty quiet. I didn’t realise how blissful that was.” However, when he returned, Brian would use conversations about the children as opportunities to abuse Raewyn. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Raewyn</strong> said, “if I rang him up to see if he wanted to have the children, he’d <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">always</i> have a go at me, <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">every</i> time. A lot of the time I was crying at the end of the phone conversations, or I’d get so mad at him. I don’t know how he does it, he just makes you feel <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">bad.</i> I just can’t stand him, and then it would happen the next time and the next time, because he would never say, ‘yes I want to have the children and I want to be a father’. No, no, it would be ‘Oh, you’re just using me for a babysitter.’ So the abuse was just as bad as when we were married. It was <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">revolting</i>. The children are still something he can get at me about, although I’m trying to not get sucked into that one.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Some men who engage in abusive, controlling, or violent behaviours towards their partner also directly maltreat their children.</span></strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Raewyn</b> said that although her husband <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">never</i> really had that much respect for her, the abuse and coercive control got worse once they had children. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Raewyn</b> said, “When the eldest boy <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Paul</b> was two years old, <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">suddenly</i> I felt something different, I thought what’s happened? He’d stopped bugging me and he was abusing <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Paul</i></b>. I got <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">scared.</i> I thought at that time, ‘I’ve got to go, I’ve got to go.’ He was <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">really</i> horrible. That’s probably the most<i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">scaredest</i> and the most I ever wanted to leave was at that point. When my son <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Paul</b> was about five or six, I said to my sister, she was visiting, I said, ‘I’ve got to leave him for <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Paul’s</strong>sake’. She even agreed with me there, for Paul’s sake you’ve got to leave him <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Raewyn</strong>. And again it was like I was locked into it I couldn’t go, I just didn’t <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">know</i> if I had it in me to go.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Other men who abuse their wives, may also control the children.</span></strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Raewyn gives an example of how her husband favoured one child over the other. For some children, this can create rivalries between them. </span></span><b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Raewyn</b> said that after she and <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Brian</b>separated, “he went back to picking on me and he was also picking on <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Paul</b>. And his abuse went a little bit further, because he would <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">dote</i> on the youngest boy, which would make it even worse for Paul. I would just be <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">crying</i> inside for Paul because it was so obvious. That was horrible. I think what he was doing with the children really pushed me most to get out. The way he was treating Paul, he would know that it affected me badly. I got to the point where I used to say ‘stop picking on him’, and he knew it affected me. I think it made him do it more.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Women with children are at higher risk than childless women, of being abused after separating from a man with a history of controlling behaviours.</span></strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
When <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana</b> and <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Steve</b> separated <a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/helping-women/safety-tips-for-leaving-a-controlling-partner" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">he threatened to kill her</a> and he used their daughter as a pawn to control Adriana. As a result of the threat to kill her, Adriana worried how that threat would affect her daughter. She believed her daughter may be at some level of danger when she was in his care.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana </b>said her ex-husband tries to get their daughter to make a choice between them. She said it must be very very hard for her daughter to cope with his slurring at her and the family. <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana</strong> said, “I have no control over it. There’s no way I can do anything about it, except, again be the rock, be the person who does things the right way. Being the rock means supporting her in what she wants to do, being consistent with my parenting, to be consistent with her, living ongoing in a predictable way, loving her — for me all the normal parenting things. Not saying negative things about him in front of her.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana </b>said her ex-husband, “was a great father when we were married, but after the divorce he fails to be a father or role model to our child. He fails to be consistent about seeing her. He doesn’t support her on any level I can detect because he doesn’t support all her interests, he jeopardises all her interests. He doesn’t support her financially in any way. He uses her for his own purposes which I think is the lowest of the lowest. For example he uses her as a negotiator between us, he buys her presents and does not let her bring them home or use them.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Many coercively controlling men (especially if they have money) use children to battle for contact or day-to-day care in the family court.</span></strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Research shows that many of those men are able to put on a charming façade when outsiders observe their fathering. <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Adriana said, “</b>The court system is quite steadfast on any access. The court believes any relationship with the father is better than no relationship — even if it hurts the child. Not necessarily physically because he hasn’t been physically violent. We had a couple of psychologist’s reports and the psychologist looked at the way he behaves towards her for an hour and made an assessment of that. The report showed nothing like the reality. It didn’t show things like the fact he calls her up and asks whether she’s slim or not. But again I had no control over that because he is her parent, he is a guardian so he has amazing power not only over her, but over me and it is given to him by the legal system and by the structure. There’s the hard bit because there’s no way as an individual that I can fight it. He’s got the right to make decisions for her, which obviously influences my life.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth </b>said that,<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> David</b> “took out custody proceedings yet there was no way he could look after the kids” because as <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth </b>said, she had “looked after them all the time that we’d had them. They were little children.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
Using the children in this way to maintain control over <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth</b> was despairing for her. She said that <b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">David</b> “had these people he called nannies, they were just girls that he had picked up wherever he picked them up that he called nannies. I remember one holiday I dropped the girls around there so that he could pay a teenager to look after them while I went out cleaning. The whole thing was just <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">so</i> back to front. I would say, ‘I’ll look after the kids. I’ll have the kids.’ ‘Oh no no.’ There was no way he was going to let that happen. We went to mediation, we went through the whole legal process, and to mediation for custody of the kids, and the kids had lawyers and the kids had psychological reports and that whole business — which was very hair raising. And he has this wonderfully charming persona, he is very proper and very charming and of course he’s got his professional life and his lovely home and here I am <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">scraping</i> to stay alive.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Many men who abuse their partners, show a lack of responsibility as fathers.</span></strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
These fathers lack interest and involvement and do not fulfill the huge range of parenting tasks required. Instead, the mother often has to take up the slack and do all the things for the children that the father neglects to do, such as organising school camp, all the equipment and logistical arrangements that go along with that, organising school uniforms, medical appointments, ensuring medication is administered on schedule, ensuring children have a balanced healthy diet, and so forth. Many men who control their partners just want the public kudos of being a father, but not all the hard work that committed healthy parenting requires.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Elizabeth </b>said,<b style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"> “</b>When I left, I stayed at my girlfriend’s. The children were living in the house where he was living. I used to come in at seven o’clock in the morning to seven at night to look after them, as we had four children at that stage and the youngest was three. He used to leave me lists of things to do, I had to do this and I had to do that. If I went to the supermarket to buy food he wanted to see the receipt to make sure that I hadn’t bought anything for myself. I couldn’t get onto a benefit because even though I was looking after the kids 12 hours a day, because they were sleeping at <i style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">his</i> house, I couldn’t claim a benefit, because technically they were in his care. Not that I was really into looking at benefits at that stage, because I never saw myself as someone who should be going on a benefit. I couldn’t claim child support because again they were in his custody, that is where they spent the night is the thing that counts.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: #99cc00; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Children are impacted in a variety of ways when their father uses them as a tool to control their mother.</span></strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
How children are impacted depends on their age, the kind of control and manipulation they experience, the strength of bond they have with their father, mother and siblings and the degree to which their father undermines those bonds. Children’s needs for psychological and physical safety may be diminished, their ability to focus and enjoy school may be impeded and some children may develop physical illnesses. Children may try to stop the abuse, while others may feel powerless to change anything. Some children become confused, anxious or depressed. Yet other children may be very resilient — especially if they have good stable supports and they are able to talk to trusted family, friends or people in the wider community about what they are experiencing.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="color: #ff9900; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Watch out for blogs on the following control tactics:</em></strong></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/tactics-of-abuse/one-sided-power-games/" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">One-Sided power games</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/tactics-of-abuse/tactic-2mind-games/" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank" title="Tactic #2 Mind Games">Mind games</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/tactics-of-abuse/tactic-3-inappropriate-restrictions" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Inappropriate restrictions</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/fear-and-shame/isolation-tactic-of-control" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Isolation</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/masculinities/jealousy" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Over-protection & ‘caring’</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/psychological-abuse/emotional-unkindness-violation-of-trust" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Emotional unkindness & violation of trust</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/masculinities/degradation-suppression-of-potential" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Degradation & Suppression of Potential</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/crazymaking/post-separation-abuse" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Separation Abuse</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/child-custody/using-social-institutions-to-abuse-women" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Using social institutions & social prejudices</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/crazymaking/denial-minimising-blaming" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Denial, Minimising, Blaming</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/male-perpetrators/economic-abuse" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Economic abuse</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/masculinities/sexual-abuse" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Sexual abuse</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/power-and-control/intimidation-aggression" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Symbolic aggression</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/tactics-of-abuse/gender-roles" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Domestic slavery</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://www.speakoutloud.net/physical-violence/mens-motivations" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Physical violence</a><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" /><a href="http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/cyber-bullying" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Cyber Abuse</a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><span style="color: #ff9900; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">References:</span></strong></div>
<ol style="margin: 0px 0px 27px 27px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><a href="http://www.austdvclearinghouse.unsw.edu.au/documents/IssuesPaper_13.pdf" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Humphreys C. Domestic violence and child protection: Challenging directions for practice. Australian Domestic and Family Violence Clearinghouse: Issues Paper 13. 2007</a>.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><a href="http://www.lfcc.on.ca/HCT_SWASM.pdf" style="color: #6b2771; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Baker LL, Cunningham AJ. Helping children thrive: Supporting woman abuse survivors as mothers. London, ON, Canada: Centre for Children & Families in the Justice System, London Family Court Clinic, Inc., 2004</a>.</li>
</ol>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-77304737626455117832014-10-08T17:33:00.001-07:002014-10-08T17:33:41.632-07:00Post-Separation Abuse Featured in the New Duluth Power and Control Wheel<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: 5.75pt; margin-left: 34.05pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: .45pt;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 90%; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">Post-Separation Abuse</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 90%; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"> <b>Featured
in the New</b> <b>Duluth Power and</b> <b>Control Wheel</b></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 90%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: .15pt; margin-left: 35.8pt; margin-right: 35.3pt; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -.05pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: 2.5pt; margin-left: -.2pt; margin-right: -.55pt; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -.05pt;">
<span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 90%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">*Chris Godsey
lives, teaches writing, and works as an ally in the movement to end men’s
violence against in Duluth, MN. He can be reached at cgodsey@d.umn.edu. Renita
Robinson is a Trainer with DAIP on post-separation violence, and the Executive
Director of the Committee Against Domestic Abuse(CADA) in Mankato, MN; she can
be reached by email: renitar@ inspire-hope.org/.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: 25.9pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: -.55pt; margin-top: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 90%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">This article
appeared in<b> </b></span><i><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 90%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Domestic Violence Report, August! September</span></i><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 90%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span><i><span style="font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 90%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">2013.</span></i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: .15pt; margin-left: 35.8pt; margin-right: 35.3pt; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -.05pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: .15pt; margin-left: 35.8pt; margin-right: 35.3pt; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: -.05pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 108%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In this article, authors Chris Godsey and
Renita</span></i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 108%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> <i>Robinson describe the
Duluth Post-Separation Power and Control</i> <i>Wheel, which depicts the commonplace tactics used by batterers to</i> <i>continue their battering during the
post-separation period. These</i> <i>tactics
typically involve the manipulation of the children and of the</i> <i>mother’s relationship to them. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: .15pt; margin-left: 35.75pt; margin-right: 35.3pt; margin-top: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 108%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Any reader
who is familiar with domestic violence custody cases is likely to recognize
these strategies</span></i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 108%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> <i>in cases they have seen. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: .15pt; margin-left: 35.75pt; margin-right: 35.3pt; margin-top: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 108%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Since the
post-separation period is the most</span></i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 108%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> <i>dangerous
time for a victim, it would seem exceptionally important</i> <i>for battered women, along with their lawyer
and other allies, to be</i> <i>able to
recognize these tactics and do everything to put a stop to</i> <i>them before the batterer is allowed to
continue wreaking emotional</i> <i>and
psychological havoc on the victims and their children.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Battering survivors, their advocates, and many practitioners
know that when a woman escapes a man who abuses her, she and their children
usually face<b> <span style="font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 106%;">intensified</span> </b>dangers.
<b>Experience tells them that he will begin using their children, the effects of
his past abuse, and his potential for more violence as tools in new forms of
force in his efforts to engage systems and institutions in maintaining power
and control over her.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 25.7pt; margin-left: .75pt; margin-right: .25pt; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: .25in;">
In more than 20 years of working to
protect battered mothers and their children while holding fathers who batter
accountable, the Duluth Family Visitation Center (DFVC) has become well-versed in articulating and accounting for post-separation violence dynamics. DFVC is a division of the Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs (DAIP), the organization that in the early 1980s developed the Duluth Model philosophy for responding to domestic violence and the original “Power and Control Wheel.” The Model and the Wheel are now international standards for people and organizations working to understand and end men’s violence against women. DFVC is r<b>esponsible for supervising and carefully documenting visits and exchanges among violent fathers, their children, and mothers who have survived abuse. This task puts DFVC employees in a unique position to identify tactics that can be easy to miss or misconstrue</b>, and to help other practitioners to better understand these dynamics. <span style="text-indent: 0.25in;">DFVC developed vocabulary that eventually became the <b>“Using Children </b></span><b>Post Separation Wheel” </b>while supervising visits between fathers and children and working with mothers in their Safe Transitions Healthy Families Program and their Strong Moms and Safe Kids support group.</div>
<br />
<br />
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0Bx4GGUn1iG7dSVZTTnBoTDQyQzQ/edit<br />
<iframe height="480" src="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0Bx4GGUn1iG7dM1hzdzNmRnF6UUU/preview" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-26051923787638214322014-10-08T17:23:00.000-07:002014-10-08T17:24:39.347-07:00Paper Abuse: Documenting New Abuser Tactics<div align="left" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 90%; margin: 0in 9.4pt 5.4pt 0.45in; text-indent: -0.5pt;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 30.0pt; line-height: 90%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">Paper Abuse:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 30.0pt; line-height: 90%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 90%; margin: 0in 9.4pt 10.95pt 0.45in; text-indent: -0.5pt;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 30.0pt; line-height: 90%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">Documenting New</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 30.0pt; line-height: 90%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"> <b>Abuse Tactics</b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 107%; margin: 0in 0in 49.4pt 32.9pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">by Susan L. Miller and
Nicole L. Smolter*</span></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 107%; margin: 0in 0in 49.4pt 32.9pt;">
<i style="line-height: 108%;"><span style="line-height: 108%;">Editor’s
Note: In this piece, Susan L. Miller and Nicole L. Smolter describe “Paper
Abuse,” a common form of intimate partner</span></i><span style="line-height: 108%;"> <i>abuse that operates within the venue of the legal system. Sometimes
referred to as “legal abuse,” a term popularized by Dr. Karin</i> <i>Huffer’s book</i></span><span style="line-height: 108%;"> </span><i style="line-height: 108%;">Legal Abuse
Syndrome,</i><span style="line-height: 108%;"> </span><i style="line-height: 108%;"><span style="line-height: 108%;">paper abuse encompasses</span></i><span style="line-height: 108%;"> <i>repeated filings of frivolous, vindictive
legal motions by abusers</i> <i>and their
attorneys solely for the purpose of wearing down their</i> <i>victims financially and emotionally. This commonly reported experience
causes enormous stress on victims who are already suffering</i> <i>the trauma caused by their earlier
interactions with their batterers</i> <i>and
who must now have contact with them via the legal processes</i> <i>and appearances demanded by the abuser’s
baseless motions.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 108%; margin-bottom: 15.6pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 35.5pt; margin-top: 0in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div>
<table align="left" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" hspace="0" vspace="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td align="left" style="padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;" valign="top"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 39.1pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-element-anchor-horizontal: column; mso-element-anchor-vertical: paragraph; mso-element-linespan: 3; mso-element-wrap: around; mso-element: dropcap-dropped; mso-height-rule: exactly; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;">
<b><span style="font-size: 49.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-text-raise: -1.5pt;">A</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: .7pt;">
s most victims/survivors, victim
service advocates, and other professionals know all too well, it is naive to
think that abuse ends once a violent relationship is over. In fact, research
reveals that battered <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: .7pt;">
women are at higher risk of
serious injury or death following the termination of a relationship (Tjaden
& Thoennes, 1998). In addition to the heightened risk of physical violence, many victims are also subject to
other forms of abuse as well as stalking (Mechanic, Weaver, & Resick,
2000). “Paper abuse” can have debilitating consequences and needs greater
attention. This concept incorporates acts that are routinely used by batterers
against their former partners to continue victimization and includes a range of
behaviors, such as filing frivolous lawsuits, making false reports of child
abuse, and taking other legal actions as a means of exerting power, forcing
contact, and financially burdening their ex-partners. Legal venues, including
protection order hearings and divorce and child custody proceedings, are
particularly ripe for paper abuse not only because they involve multiple
meetings and hearings but also because these types of cases are often heard by
multiple judges. In this often lengthy process, histories of abuse can be
ignored, forgotten, or distorted by the abuser. Victims are also often legally
required to participate in these proceedings and, when they do, may have few resources
for protecting themselves. We suggest this element of forced contact restricts
victims’ access to protection and creates ongoing hassles, burdens, and
frustrations. Thus, despite the lack of physical violence, paper abuse should
be recognized as an example of continued victimization.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 21.45pt; margin-left: 11.05pt; margin-right: .7pt; margin-top: 0in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0Bx4GGUn1iG7dM1hzdzNmRnF6UUU/edit">https://docs.google.com/file/d/0Bx4GGUn1iG7dM1hzdzNmRnF6UUU/edit</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe height="480" src="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0Bx4GGUn1iG7dM1hzdzNmRnF6UUU/preview" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-32821681090338524082014-10-07T19:25:00.000-07:002014-10-07T19:25:07.292-07:00TAKE ACTION This October - Instead of The DV Awareness (Useless Feel-Goods) Month<br />
Again, we can stop this..... Question is do we want to? This Book is under $20.00. Absolutely every victim/ survivor/ advocate/ city council, DA, State, AG, and it should be in EVERY University and Public Library in this Nation!<br />
<br />
I want this to be the standard read when it comes to intimate terrorisim. Simple, money gaining vs. costing, the only way that it would even be possible to continue these horrible human rights atrocities is by those powers that be.... Society can now be outraged and DEMAND, without repercussion, armed with the facts, the easy truths in resolving humanity's basic human rights to freedom, to safety.<br />
And, it is simple common sense that will GAIN $$ - not need more $ tossed at it.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0000ee;"><u>http://www.amazon.com/The-Quincy-Solution-Barry-Goldstein/dp/1934759864</u></span><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WJ7DwoUwj0k/VDSevjQY1NI/AAAAAAAAuq0/hzXmMhYb6AQ/s1600/Quincy%2BSolution.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WJ7DwoUwj0k/VDSevjQY1NI/AAAAAAAAuq0/hzXmMhYb6AQ/s1600/Quincy%2BSolution.jpg" height="640" width="428" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; padding: 0px;">
Would you like to share a $500 billion reward? It might sound too good to be true, but this is the benefit to society of adopting the Quincy Solution with its proven practices to dramatically reduce domestic violence crime. Barry Goldstein has spent his career working to prevent abuse so he knew how to synthesize history and research about practices that stop domestic violence with medical research about the enormous health impact from stress related to domestic violence and child abuse.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
Barry started by reviewing the successful practices in Quincy, San Diego, and Nashville. Domestic violence is not inevitable, and it is not surprising it can be prevented with a group of best practices. He updated the proven practices with new research, technology, and inclusion of the custody courts. The primary obstacle was inertia and money. Then the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) research established that children exposed to domestic violence, child abuse, and other traumas suffer more illnesses and injuries throughout their lives. We can reduce societal problems like cancer, heart disease, substance abuse, and crime—and dramatically improve our economy. This is the Quincy Solution.</div>
<ul style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin: 1.12em 0px 1.12em 20px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0px 20px; word-wrap: break-word;">Domestic violence is not inevitable. The Quincy Solution is based on successful practices in Quincy, Nashville, and San Diego so we know it works.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0px 20px; word-wrap: break-word;">The $500 billion in annual savings from the Quincy Solution comes from prevention of illnesses and injuries, reduced crime, and victims reaching their economic potential.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0px 20px; word-wrap: break-word;">The Quincy Solution is more than an absence of abuse. Women and children will be safe in their homes and free to reach their potential.</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; padding: 0px;">
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Barry Goldstein has dedicated his career to stopping men’s violence against women and preventing the mental, emotional and physical trauma it inflicts on their children. A passionate and sought-after speaker, Barry’s the author of four other books on domestic violence.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
“I can’t help but think of all the courageous women who died and all the anguished faces of the children they left behind -- who might have been saved by this book.”~ Rita Smith, Former Executive Director, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
“Barry Goldstein compiles shocking data showing how our legal system enables violence against women and children. Buy this book.”~ Wendy Murphy, New England Law Boston, Author “And Justice For Some”</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
“Domestic violence can be stopped. This book proves it.”~ Andrew Willis, Survivor, Founder Stop Abuse Campaign</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
“Barry Goldstein has eloquently captured the crisis that is domestic violence in America today, but his real gift is that of hope.” ~ Sarah Buel, Survivor, Advocate, Law Professor and former Quincy Prosecutor</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
“A must-read for advocates, police officers, lawyers, judges and anyone who cares about saving the lives of domestic violence victims.” ~ Lt. Mark Wynn (ret), Nashville PD</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
“A long-awaited, desperately-needed gift to battered women and their children. This plan could become the Holy Grail of custody litigation.”~ Mo Therese Hannah, PhD, Chair of the Battered Mothers Custody Conference</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
“Preventing domestic violence can interrupt the cycle of violence that harms children, families and communities. It’s critical to use science to demonstrate what works, then move from science to practice.”~ Linda C. Degutis, DrPH, MSN, Former Director, NationalCenter for Injury Prevention and Control, CDC</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
“Shocked to learn the courts don’t already make the health and safety of children priority one when deciding custody and visitation.”~ Kelly Rutherford</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
Actress</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-top: -4px; padding: 0px;">
<strong>S</strong><strong>ales of this book support the </strong><strong>National Coalition Against Domestic Violence</strong><strong> and the Stop Abuse Campaign's implementation of the Quincy Model.</strong></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-65126904364488083982014-10-06T10:30:00.001-07:002014-10-06T11:38:15.641-07:00Violence: is Just One, of Many Methods Used to Maintain Complete Control and Total Domination of Women.<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.65pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #191919;">Despite its great achievements,
the</span><b><span style="color: #cc0000;"> </span><span style="color: #990000;">Domestic Violence Revolution Is Stalled</span></b><span style="color: #990000;">, </span><span style="color: #191919;">Evan Stark argues, a provocative
conclusion he documents by showing that</span><b><span style="color: #990000;"> Interventions Have Failed</span></b><span style="color: #cc0000;"> </span><span style="color: #191919;">to improve women’s
long-term safety in </span>relationships <b><span style="color: #990000;">or to hold perpetrators accountable.</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.65pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 14.65pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Stark traces<b><span style="color: #cc0000;"> </span><span style="color: #990000;">This Failure</span></b><span style="color: #cc0000;"> </span>to
terrifying detail how men a
startling paradox, that <b><span style="color: #990000;">the Singular Focus</span> on Violence</b> against
women<span style="color: #990000;"> <b>Masks an even More Devastating reality</b></span>. In millions of
abusive relationships, <b><span style="color: #cc0000;">Men Use</span></b>
a largely unidentified <b>form of <span style="color: #990000;">Subjugation </span>that more closely <span style="color: #990000;">Resembles Kidnapping or Indentured Servitude</span> than assault.</b> He calls
this pattern coercive control. Drawing on sources that range from FBI
statistics and film to dozens of actual cases from his thirty years of
experience as an award-winning researcher, advocate, and forensic expert, Stark
shows:</span></div>
<h3 style="background: white; line-height: 14.65pt; margin-left: .5in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></h3>
<h3 style="background: white; line-height: 14.65pt; margin-left: .5in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;">"How Men Can Extend Their Dominance
of Women, Over Time and through Social Space in ways that Subvert Women’s
Autonomy, Isolate Them, and Infiltrate the Most Intimate Corners of Her Life"</span><b style="font-size: x-large;">.</b></span><b style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px;"> </b><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px;"> </span><span style="color: #555555; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px;">See more <i style="font-weight: normal;">at: </i></span><a href="http://americanmotherspoliticalparty.org/ampp-article-library-family-court-custody-abuse-dv/5-family-criminal-law-and-research-abuse-dv-child-custody/31-coercive-control-how-men-entrap-women-in-personal-life" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px;" target="_blank"><i style="font-weight: normal;">American Mothers Political Party</i></a><span style="color: #555555; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px;"> </span></h3>
<b><br /></b>
<b>###</b><br />
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></h3>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<b>Violence: Just One, in the endless, and many, in combination with other methods, </b><b>to Maintain Complete </b><b>Control, and Total Domination of Women.</b></h3>
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
I was asked to do a video biography. This was one of the hardest things I have
done. It was easy for myself to actually advocate and "just do" what
needed to be done, when the time was right. But dig personally back into just
myself, taking pieces and trying to timeline backwards, well it just didn't
work that way for me. Perhaps it is too painful, perhaps because it does not
feel whole without my sisters in unity. (I think that is it).<br />
<br />
Most of my sisters, know that I am on hiatus at the moment. I continue to
seek answers, solutions and a wholeness to bring back to, and contribute along
with my mothers and my sisters. You see, we all are in this together, our
suffering is not just ours, it is humanity's. We know from "gut' instinct,
and pure love of heart, that we must change the perception of domestic
violence, because it is wrong in every sense. We must somehow <b>"UN-minimize”</b> it and bring it back
around to what it truly is. Because we know from our own personal journeys,
that this IS a stripping of our very humanity, our autonomy, our very basic
human right to our self.<br />
<br />
Of course, October, (our only small, yet minimal, alleged time to speak) about
some of the horrors, in the stripping of our humanity, <b>just one</b> of many used against us (violence). That one month, that
twenty five years ago was set aside for the color purple, the color that no one
"gets", like the color "pink" does, on the backs of
beverages and sugar packages in the stores. Regardless of the fact that the
"Leading Cause of Death to Pregnant Women" is from the same
dominating monsters/ property owners/fathers/so called intimate others/
boyfriends/husbands.</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
The <b>Nazi's </b>and the<b> Slave Master’s, impregnated women</b> the same way. Yet, we remain very much imprisoned and
bound by societies accepted cultural norms of treating women worse than cattle.<br />
<br />
We are a class of people whose basic human rights to self, to freedom, to life,
have been and continue to be violated, not just by those "slave
owners" who sought to dominate us in every aspect of our lives, but by an
entire system and social culture that is so very accepting and supportive of
the continued oppression of women and her children. One day what has happened
to us, will go down in history as one of the worlds worst, mass human
destruction.<br />
<br />
We are not "domestic", we are not "dispute", we are not
"high conflict", we are not just "violence", and we are
certainly not "shared parenting" "alienation or any other psych
term, coined to maintain control over women and children. Not unlike
"draptomania" that was given to slaves when they wanted to be free of
their masters. The solution was to <b>beat
them</b> severely. Just as now, the solution is <b>to take her children</b>, and make her jump through decades of impossible
hoops, to which we do, because of our children. In that strength and in that
complete determination, our oppressors have under estimated us. Because you
see, it is that very same drive that we will overcome, we will set ourselves
free.<br />
<br />
After 20 long hard years, in the trenches, with mothers, my sisters,
comrades and friends, who hold each other up, who are sure to never let any
voice be silenced, I salute you!</span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[ohhh and p.s. I remain in my personal boycott
of "Domestic Violence Awareness Month" for personal reasons, as I
have, the past few years. I think that when WE and not the powers that be,
create our own expression and our own truths and our own way to speak, without
minimizing the totality of the treatment of women, then I shall sing from every
roof top].</span></i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/QTHjvDUxkPo?list=PL0A501E485BF719CC" width="560"></iframe><br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<h2>
<b><u>The Path Unpaved</u></b></h2>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(a poem for the Humanist's Path for Freedom & Human Rights)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I've walked this path alone so often,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know it's form by heart.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And now, as always, my footing's unsure,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
on its unstable and rocky start.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I second-guess each step I take,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for fear I'll slip and fall,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That one wrong step will lend me to,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
an end that ends it all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
One misplaced foot, one careless word,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
an avalanche begins;</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The tug of war of heart and mind,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
till one of them finally wins.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Each time I've walked this troubled path,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It’s ended journey not together,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Each time I fear that to walk it again,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
will tear me apart forever.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't the strength to walk it alone,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
nor the energy, if only I knew..</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As every time I take this route,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I fear it may be my last too.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know how to stop the pain,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Of traveling down this road again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I've fought it time and over,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
only to start it over again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet each and every day I persevere,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As I steady my Unstable start:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know that only change can come</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
From all of Passions Heart.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So if I must, I’ll rest awhile.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ignore the Siren song.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Take comfort in the truth I dare</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Unshakably, I will try to stand eternally strong.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
© AngelFury - 2005</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-72818088779899795312014-10-04T23:00:00.001-07:002014-10-06T09:03:34.847-07:00Abusers Will Take Her Children If She Trys To Leave<div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 10px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px;">
<span class="watch-title long-title " dir="ltr" id="eow-title" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -0.03em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" title="Barry Goldstein with Gill Trebilcock on Revolution Radio's Cancel The Cabal"><span style="font-size: large;">Barry Goldstein with Gill Trebilcock on Revolution Radio's Cancel The Cabal</span></span></div>
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/scGFV-HEXBA" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Barry Goldstein is a nationally recognized domestic violence author speaker and advocate. He has written some of the leading books about domestic violence and custody including Domestic Violence, Abuse and Child Custody, co-edited with Dr. Mo Therese Hannah, Representing the Domestic Violence Survivor, co authored with Elizabeth Liu and Scared to Leave Afraid to Stay. His newest book, The Quincy Solution: Stop Domestic Violence and Save $500 Billion demonstrates how we can dramatically reduce domestic violence crime based on proven methods. Barry is also a passionate and sought after speaker who frequently presents for domestic violence, government, educational and professional groups.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">The shows full Mp3 is below.</span><br />
<a class="yt-uix-redirect-link" dir="ltr" href="http://www.cancelthecabal.net/uploads/2/1/1/6/21163562/september_28_2014_with_barry_goldstein.mp3" rel="nofollow" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #167ac6; cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="http://www.cancelthecabal.net/uploads/2/1/1/6/21163562/september_28_2014_with_barry_goldstein.mp3">http://www.cancelthecabal.net/uploads...</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-33883330869316526092014-09-17T20:19:00.000-07:002014-10-06T09:06:08.621-07:00(DV/IPV) Coercive Control Targets Gender Identity with an Emphasis on Male Domination, Sexual Inequality and Personal Liberty<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #403838; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: inherit; margin: 10px 0px 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #181717; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: large; line-height: 26.15999984741211px;">Because coercive control is so closely linked to inequality, </span><br />
<span style="color: #181717; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: large; line-height: 26.15999984741211px;">to confront it effectively, the </span><b style="color: #181717; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: x-large; line-height: 26.15999984741211px;">advocacy movement</b><span style="color: #181717; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: large; line-height: 26.15999984741211px;"> should </span><b style="color: #181717; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: x-large; line-height: 26.15999984741211px;">refocus</b><span style="color: #181717; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: large; line-height: 26.15999984741211px;"> on </span><b style="color: #181717; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: x-large; line-height: 26.15999984741211px;">domination, prioritize “freedom”</b><span style="color: #181717; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: large; line-height: 26.15999984741211px;"> alongside “safety,”</span><span style="color: #181717; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: large; line-height: 26.15999984741211px;"> and openly support the feminist agenda.</span><br />
<br />
Sage Journal<br />
Violence Against Women</div>
<div>
<span class="heading" style="border: 0px; color: #403838; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px 5px 0px 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />Source:</span><span class="if-value" style="border: 0px; color: #403838; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;">2013 Journal Citation Reports® (Thomson Reuters, 2014)</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="http://vaw.sagepub.com/content/15/12/1509" style="text-align: inherit;">http://vaw.sagepub.com/content/15/12/1509</a></div>
<div>
<span class="if-value" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></div>
<h1 id="article-title-1" itemprop="headline" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #403838; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.8em; line-height: inherit; margin: 10px 0px 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Rethinking Coercive Control</h1>
<div class="contributors intlv" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #403838; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.639999389648438px; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<ol class="contributor-list" id="contrib-group-1" style="border: 0px; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 15px 0px 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li class="last" id="contrib-1" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="name" style="border: 0px; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="name-search" href="http://vaw.sagepub.com/search?author1=Evan+Stark&sortspec=date&submit=Submit" style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: 0px; white-space: nowrap;">Evan Stark</a></span><ol class="affiliation-list" style="border: 0px; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 1em 24.890625px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li class="aff" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" id="aff-1" name="aff-1" style="border: 0px; color: #7e0203; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: 0px;"></a><address style="border: 0px; display: inline; font-size: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;">
Rutgers University, <a href="mailto:Eds203@juno.com" style="border: 0px; color: #305484; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: 0px;">Eds203@juno.com</a></address>
</li>
</ol>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<div class="section abstract" id="abstract-1" itemprop="description" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; clear: both; color: #403838; line-height: 16.639999389648438px; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<h2 style="border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-width: 0px 0px 2px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 10px 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
Abstract</h2>
<div id="p-1" style="border: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-top: 5px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-weight: inherit;">The critical appraisals of <em style="border: 0px; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;">Coercive Control</em> focus largely on what my analysis implies for intervention, a matter to which the book devotes only limited space. In this reply, I reiterate </span><b>core concepts</b><span style="font-weight: inherit;"> in the book and acknowledge that much more work is needed to translate the </span><b>realities of coercive control into practical legal and advocacy strategies</b><span style="font-weight: inherit;">.</span></div>
<div id="p-1" style="border: 0px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-top: 5px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;"> I review how coercive control differs from partner assaults and so why it merits a distinct response; the extent to which </span><b style="font-style: inherit;">coercive control targets gender identity</b><span style="font-weight: inherit;"><span style="font-style: inherit;">; </span><i>the wisdom of complementing the focus on violence with an emphasis on</i> </span><b style="font-style: inherit;">male domination, sexual inequality and personal liberty</b><span style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;">; what this implies for shelters and the law; why sexual inequality differentiates coercive control from female partner abuse of men; how sexual equality can be both cause and antidote for coercive control; why I think </span><b style="font-style: inherit;">an affirmative concept of freedom is essential to grasp the human rights violations inflicted by coercive control</b><span style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;">; and what it means to “story” coercive control by </span><b style="font-style: inherit;">integrating women into the larger liberty narrative on which our national identity rests. </b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></blockquote>
</div>
<div id="p-1" style="border: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-top: 5px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div style="font-weight: inherit;">
<span style="color: #181717; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 109%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<ol style="border: none; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px 3px 2px 10px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li class="notice full-text-pdf-view-link primary" style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0Bx4GGUn1iG7dQTl0S1ppY05JVHc/edit" target="_blank">Full Text (PDF)</a><img src="http://vaw.sagepub.com/publisher/icons/pdf.png" id="pdf-icon" style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-style: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;" /></li>
</ol>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-38853710596625130252014-09-02T20:25:00.000-07:002014-09-02T20:25:30.841-07:00Profit Over Protection. Changing Abusers’ Behavior: What Works What Doesn’t<div class="MsoNormal">
[Special call out to the <a href="http://claudinedombrowski.blogspot.com/2014/01/profit-over-protection-industry-of.html" target="_blank">Kansas Peace Initiative - Alternatives to Battering Progra</a>m (with their so called 80% success rate), it is time to re-evaluate, and
place PROTECTION over profit.]<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><a href="http://www.barrygoldstein.net/important-articles/changing-abusers-behavior-what-works-what-doesn-t" target="_blank">Changing Abusers’ Behavior: What Works What Doesn’t</a></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By Barry Goldstein<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Introduction</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few years ago, I attended a national conference for
and about batterer programs. One of my colleagues aptly referred to it as a <b>marketing
conference for the batterer program industry</b>. I am sure there were many
people at the conference that sincerely sought to reduce domestic violence and
believed their programs could help accomplish this. Nevertheless, I was <b>appalled
at practices that undermined the safety of women partnered with abusive men and
frequent inaccurate claims that their programs could change men’s behavior and
make it safe for women to live with them.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The modern movement to end domestic violence began in
the mid to late 1970s and helped make men’s violence against women a public
issue. This focused attention on the question of how to stop men in
heterosexual relationships from abusing their partners. At the time, there was
little research available to help policy makers and most of the decisions on
how to respond to domestic violence were made by people<b> who did not
understand domestic violence dynamics</b>. This led to attempts to promote
partner safety through i<b>neffective approaches that continue to the present.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the fundamental questions was whether to
respond by changing individuals one at a time or to promote societal changes.
The primary response has been to focus on the individual such as by creating
shelters and counseling for survivors and <b>batterer programs</b> <b>and
forms of treatment for abusers.</b> This has undermined recognition of the
need to make fundamental changes to the status quo by creating an appearance
that society is engaged in an effective response to domestic violence. Ironically,
the present response has resulted in a substantial reduction in the number of
men killed by their heterosexual partners, but only a small decrease in the
number of women murdered by their abusers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Common Practices Providing Little Protection for Women (<a href="http://www.barrygoldstein.net/important-articles/changing-abusers-behavior-what-works-what-doesn-t" target="_blank">read the rest of the article here</a>)</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-64829275183488590532014-07-28T11:49:00.000-07:002014-10-06T13:28:04.411-07:00We Can Stop Domestic Violence. The Question is -- Do We Want To?<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.wibw.com/home/headlines/Domestic-Dispute-Leads-To-SWAT-Team-Standoff-In-Topeka-221311341.html" target="_blank">Domestic Dispute, Leads to SWAT Stand-off with Topeka Police Department</a></span></h4>
<div>
<i>[Tell me, how in the hell a SWAT stand-off, for four hours with police, of a man who kicks the mother out of HER home, locking her out from HER baby girl, and the Topeka Police (and Community) call this <b>Domestic Dispute</b>??? </i></div>
<div>
<i>We have become so complacent in our society with violence against women that the "violence" has been dropped from "domestic violence". There is nothing Domestic about violence against women and children. Drop the "domestic" and charge as any other person crime, e.g. assault, battery etc.</i></div>
<div>
<i>But now..... we have "Dispute" replacing "Violence"? This is an intentional minimizing from the top of the chain, fed exclusively to the sheeple --- whom sadly, seem to kool-aide drink into this whole mind control - or, is it really that we do not want to stop the violence?] Actions speak louder than words.</i></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Kansas -- is always decades late in promoting the newest, and best standards and practices for victims of (<strike>domestic)</strike> violence. <a class="GCUXF0KCPB" href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3734685209932911961#editor/target=post;postID=2133789215621683958;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=9;src=postname" style="border: 0px; color: #1155cc; display: inline-block; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin: 0px 10px 0px 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; text-overflow: ellipsis; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: nowrap; width: auto;">Profit Over Protection - The Industry Of Abuse.</a></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Why they can not just drop the word "domestic" from the violence and prosecute accordingly, is beyond me or simple common sense. Currently the word "domestic" is a "get out of jail free" card, to continue to terrorize women and her children. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Currently in local news, several KC, DV programs and agencies are WRONGLY implementing and touting the "Lethal Assessment Tool". An out dated and dangerous tool to use. I am like, come on already. Its not that hard.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Apparently, it is. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Why common sense can not just be implemented in violence against women and children. the DV industry, the profits? For what ever reasons, they do not help women and children who are subjected to violence.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Perhaps maybe, rewriting simple common sense will work for Kansas. Please take note of the Quincy Solution. </blockquote>
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: black; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: black; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">(Ok, Kansas. So there ya have it, again. Actual real solution to address actual real issues. Please follow a common sense approach, and truly offer real resources and real support to woman and children who suffer from violence, needlessly. The information about the Quincy Solution will be published Oct.1, 2014. I highly recommend that agencies purchase, disseminate and model their approaches along these common sense guidelines. It really is not hard to stop violence against women and children in Kansas. We just have to want too.)</span><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: black; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: black; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h1 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 26px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: red; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The Quincy Solution Will End Most Domestic Violence</span></h1>
<a href="http://stopabusecampaign.com/the-quincy-solution">http://stopabusecampaign.com/the-quincy-solution</a><br />
<h1 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 26px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<img alt="imgres" class="size-full wp-image-5920 aligncenter" src="http://stopabusecampaign.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/imgres.jpg" height="201" style="background: transparent; border: none; display: block; height: auto; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 100%; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="250" /></h1>
<h3 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 21px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A solution pioneered in Quincy, Massachusetts and perfected in San Diego, California and Nashville, Tennessee will prevent domestic violence and domestic murder, saving American taxpayers $500 Billion every year.</span></h3>
<div>
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: black; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">The original Quincy Model involved </span>strict enforcement of criminal laws<span style="font-weight: normal;">, protective orders and probation requirements together with practices that made it easier for women to leave their abusers and a </span>coordinated community response<span style="font-weight: normal;"> when they did.</span></span></span></h4>
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
</span>
<br />
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: black; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">There were a few cases in which the complaining witness stopped cooperating with the prosecutor after </span>the abuser sought custody.<span style="font-weight: normal;"> This did not derail the success of Quincy because this was still a rare tactic.</span></span></span></h4>
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
</span>
<br />
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: black; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Today seeking custody to regain control over victims is a standard abuser tactic <span style="font-weight: normal;">and the Quincy Solution cannot be successful without preventing this tactic from undermining the efforts to </span>prevent DV crime<span style="font-weight: normal;">. This could be done by educating and training court professionals based on ACE, Saunders and other research. Sadly many courts are very defensive about criticism.<i> (and why profit heavily by selling abuse victims into slavery with their abusers -cd)</i></span></span></span></h4>
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
</span>
<br />
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: black; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">The </span><a href="http://stopabusecampaign.com/feature/safe-child-act" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #804645; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Safe Child Act">Safe Child Act</a><span style="font-weight: normal;"> requires courts to reform their practices and </span>stop sending children to live with abusers<span style="font-weight: normal;">. This is accomplished by making the health and safety of children the courts first priority and by specifically stating this includes circumstances where children are placed in jeopardy such as </span>witnessing domestic violence or separation from primary attachment figure. </span></span></h4>
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
</span>
<br />
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: black; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The legislation would also require the use of genuine experts and promotes a multi-disciplinary approach.</span></span></h4>
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
</span>
<br />
<div>
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
</span>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 28px;">The Quincy Solution Is Based on The Quincy Court Model Domestic Abuse Program</span></span></blockquote>
<span style="background: transparent; border: 0px; color: grey; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
</span></div>
<div>
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Every year, more than one million women in the United States are beaten by husbands, lovers, or other men in their lives. By the 1980s, many police departments had begun to address domestic violence as a </span>serious crime<span style="font-weight: normal;">, but the court systems were not as forthcoming. Many jurisdictions still treated domestic abuse as </span><u>domestic disputes</u><span style="font-weight: normal;"><u> <a href="http://www.wibw.com/home/headlines/Domestic-Dispute-Leads-To-SWAT-Team-Standoff-In-Topeka-221311341.html" target="_blank">(Domestic Dispute, Leads to SWAT Stand-off with Topeka Police Department) </a></u><i>rather than domestic </i></span>violence.<span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></h4>
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Courts that condemned the beatings and murder of women by strangers employed a </span>different standard for violent husbands<span style="font-weight: normal;"> and boyfriends. This attitude intimidated many abused women, causing them to reluctantly bring charges or to drop their case altogether. </span></h4>
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
</h4>
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Restraining and stay-away orders against abusers were insufficient, and few men who violate these orders were actually convicted. Studies have documented that </span>women and children are at their greatest risk when trying to leave an abusive relationship and therefore desperately need the court system to protect them.</h4>
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">In 1986, the First Justice of the Quincy Court, which serves seven suburban Boston communities, conducted an interview survey with some of the over one thousand battered and abused women seeking restraining orders. The study concluded that the Court needed to focus on empowering victims by developing procedures to make the legal process more "user friendly," while simultaneously </span>controlling the abusers<span style="font-weight: normal;">. These findings resulted in the creation of Quincy Court's Model Domestic Abuse Program in 1987, which protects battered women and children through court-based services and encourages victims to seek justice and safety by charging batterers. The program cultivates unique partnerships among the court, the district attorney, the probation department, the police, battered women's shelters, batterers' treatment groups, and drug and alcohol recovery centers to address every aspect of this complex problem.</span></h4>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Quincy Court's Model Domestic Abuse Program encourages battered women to work within the justice system by revamping it to respond to the victim's specific needs. To ensure that abused women understand how to use the system, the district attorney's office conducts daily briefing sessions to explain to victims their rights; it also arranges for advocates to accompany victims to the court. To expedite hearings and minimize waiting, the Quincy Court holds two special sessions each day so victims can obtain restraining orders. A separate office staffed by women who are experts in domestic abuse helps victims find the additional support and social services.</h4>
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"> The Court not only empowers victims but also </span>cracks down on abusers<span style="font-weight: normal;">. A probation program routinely confiscates weapons and </span>strictly enforces orders<span style="font-weight: normal;"> prohibiting alcohol and drug use, using random testing to monitor compliance. </span>Offenders<span style="font-weight: normal;"> who continue to threaten violence against their victims are brought to court and </span>sentenced immediately<span style="font-weight: normal;">. Many batterers also utilize outside services and are often sent to specialized treatment programs for substance abuse and rehabilitation. </span></h4>
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Between 1987 and 1992, the number of women seeking restraining orders from the Quincy Court doubled, and these victims persevered in pressing their cases two to three times more often than women in other jurisdictions. The number of abusers placed on supervised probation rose from 35 in 1986 to more than 200 in 1992. The most significant measure of the program's success has been the decline in deaths from battering. In 1991, the Quincy Court district had no domestic homicides, but nearby Essex County, with a similar population and size, experienced 15 domestic murders. </h4>
<h4 style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #303030; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin: 5px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">As domestic violence in the district continues to drop, strengthening the Court's reputation, more and more women are seeking help, appearing at court hearings, entering support groups, and taking out </span>criminal charges<span style="font-weight: normal;">. Victims no longer fall through the cracks, but rather are actively participating in the</span> judicial process,<span style="font-weight: normal;"> reclaiming their lives, and helping others to follow their path to safety.</span></h4>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-40129566571391898892014-07-28T11:20:00.002-07:002014-07-28T11:20:10.492-07:00Ignorance Is This -- Campaign -- Family Courts Giving Abusers Child CustodyFamily Courts Give Abusers Child Custody, #IgnoranceIsThis Campaign. Students at Boston University's College of Communication create PSA's to ignite conversation about the problems in America's Family Courts.<br />
<br />
These are their productions.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/videoseries?list=PL8p3NZQWoR_mt0Vnqk723vnt6YfQBmL_T" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-88326587537385999992014-06-12T10:15:00.001-07:002014-06-12T13:33:50.332-07:00Domestic Violence, Trauma, Advocacy, Legal Tools, Resources & Publications<h3>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span> </h3>
<h3>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span> </h3>
<h3>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">Source: <a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/" target="_blank">National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health</a></span></span></h3>
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Resources & Publications</h3>
The National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health produces a variety of materials for domestic violence advocates, mental health and substance abuse providers, legal professionals, and policymakers. See below for descriptions of and links to our current publications and products. <br />
<strong>Let us know how it goes! </strong>If you are using our tools in your work, please consider taking a moment to let us know how you’re using them and what you found helpful. We also welcome your comments and suggestions. To provide feedback, please <a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/contact-the-center/">fill out our simple online contact form</a> or contact Rachel White-Domain at (312) 726-7020×11 (P) or (312) 726-4110 (TTY). <br />
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/information-about-domestic-violence-trauma-and-mental-health/">DV, Trauma & Mental Health</a>These readings are for anyone interested in learning more about domestic violence, trauma, and mental health. <em>Recommended for everyone</em></li>
<li><a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/resources-and-information-sheet-for-domestic-violence-advocates/">Fact Sheets for Domestic Violence Advocates</a> These fact sheets provide information and practical tips to domestic violence advocates on working with survivors who are experiencing trauma symptoms and/or mental health conditions. <em>Recommended for domestic violence advocates</em></li>
<li><a href="http://nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/creating-trauma-informed-services-tipsheet-series-for-advocates/">Creating Trauma-Informed Services Tipsheet Series</a> These tipsheets provide practical advice on creating trauma-informed services at domestic violence programs and working with survivors who are experiencing trauma symptoms and/or mental health conditions. <em>Recommended for domestic violence advocates</em></li>
<li><a href="http://nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/safety-and-well-being-tipsheet-series-for-survivors/">Safety and Well-Being Tipsheet Series</a> These tipsheets provide information on the ways that experiencing abuse can affect how we think, feel, and respond to other people and the world around us. The series also provides tips on how to seek support for yourself and how to help if someone you know is being abused. <em>Recommended for everyone</em></li>
</ul>
<a href="http://nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/law-legal-advocacy-tipsheet-series"><strong>Law and Legal Advocacy Tipsheet Series</strong></a><strong> These resources provide information and guidance to legal advocates and attorneys working with survivors who are involved in legal cases. <em>Recommended for civil lawyers and legal advocates</em></strong><br />
<a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/conversation-guide-series-for-advocates/">Conversation Guide Series</a> <br />
<blockquote>
The Conversation Guide Series is designed to provide guidance to domestic violence programs working to build their own capacity to provide accessible, culturally relevant, and trauma-informed services. Each guide in the series will provide instructions on how to lead discussions and activities with program staff. The activities can be modified or adapted for your specific program’s needs. <em>Recommended for domestic violence programs</em></blockquote>
<a href="http://nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/model-medication-policy/">Model Medication Policy</a> <br />
<blockquote>
The Model Medication Policy is designed to offer guidance to domestic violence programs on adopting medication policies that are accessible, trauma informed, and compliant with anti-discrimination laws. <em>Recommended for domestic violence coalitions and programs</em></blockquote>
<a href="http://nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/subpoena-response-tool-for-mental-health-providers/"><strong>Subpoena Response Tool</strong></a><strong> </strong> <br />
<blockquote>
<strong>The Subpoena Response Tool provides guidance to mental health practitioners and agencies on how to respond to subpoenas and other demands to produce client mental health records in ways that will maximize client safety and autonomy. </strong><em>Recommended for mental health providers in private practice, mental health agencies, and domestic violence programs that are collaborating with mental health providers or agencies</em></blockquote>
<a href="http://nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/attorneys-handbook/"><strong>Attorney’s Handbook</strong></a><strong> </strong> <br />
<blockquote>
<strong>The Attorney’s Handbook provides guidance to attorneys who are representing survivors of domestic violence who are experiencing trauma symptoms and/or mental health challenges. This project was supported by Grant No. 2008-TA-AX-K003 awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. <em>Recommended for attorneys</em></strong></blockquote>
<a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/responding-to-domestic-violence-tools-and-forms-for-mental-health-providers/">Responding to Domestic Violence: Tools and Forms for Mental Health Providers</a> <br />
<blockquote>
These materials provide tools and information for mental health providers on how to be responsive to domestic violence. These materials were adopted from DVMHPI-CDPH-MODV Pilot Project, previously approved by OVW for 2004 Disabilities Grant. <em>Recommended for mental health providers in private practice, mental health agencies, and domestic violence programs that are collaborating with mental health providers or agencies</em></blockquote>
<a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/creating-accessible-culturally-relevant-domestic-violence-and-trauma-informed-agencies-a-self-reflection-tool/">Creating Accessible, Culturally Relevant, Domestic Violence- and Trauma-Informed Agencies: A Self-Reflection Tool (ACDVTI Agency Self-Reflection Tool)</a> <br />
<blockquote>
This tool is designed to guide agencies through a self-reflective process on what it might look like to be doing accessible, culturally relevant, and trauma informed (ACDVTI) work in seven different key areas, and to identify strategies for getting there. This tool was developed by the Accessing Safety and Recovery Initiative (ASRI), OVW Ending Violence Against and Abuse of Women with Disabilities Grant 2007-FW-AX-K004, which involved building collaboration among domestic violence programs, community mental health agencies, and state psychiatric hospitals.</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<em>Recommended for domestic violence programs, community mental health agencies, and psychiatric hospitals</em></blockquote>
<a href="http://nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/articles/">Articles</a> <br />
On this page, you will find citations to relevant publications by Center staff and others. <br />
<a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/real-tools-responding-to-multi-abuse-trauma-a-toolkit/">Real Tools: Responding to Multi-Abuse Trauma — A Tool Kit to Help Advocates and Community Partners Better Serve People With Multiple Issues</a> <br />
The “Real Tools” products provide a support group manual and training tools for advocates and other professionals working with women who have experienced domestic violence, sexual assault, substance abuse and other trauma. <br />
<a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/access-to-advocacy-serving-women-with-psychiatric-disabilities-in-domestic-violence-settings-participant-guide/">Access to Advocacy: Serving Women with Psychiatric Disabilities in Domestic Violence Settings — Participant Guide</a> <br />
Originally published in 2007, the Center’s Access to Advocacy curriculum was the first document to pull together training materials from the Center and several of its partner agencies on multiple different topics and present a comprehensive overview of our framework for and approach to bridging clinical, advocacy, and survivor perspectives. Although this content has been updated in our more recent trainings, the Access to Advocacy curriculum continues to serve as a foundational resource. <br />
<a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/domestic-violence-coalitions-needs-assessment-survey-report/">Domestic Violence Coalitions’ Needs Assessment Survey Report</a> <br />
In 2012, the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health, in collaboration with the National Network to End Domestic Violence, conducted a nationwide needs assessment of state, territory, and District of Columbia domestic violence coalitions to identify training and TA priorities, as well as to gather information on trauma-informed work being done at the coalition and program levels. The Domestic Violence Coalitions’ Needs Assessment Survey Report summarizes the results of this survey, describing state-level collaborations and policy work, the availability of culturally specific services, barriers and challenges faced, supports coalitions provide to member programs, and the impact of training and TA on coalitions and programs. This survey was conducted as part of a multi-year effort by NCDVTMH to provide support to coalitions as they work to assist their member programs in developing accessible, trauma-informed, culturally relevant domestic violence services and organizations. <br />
<a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/ncdvtmh-review-of-trauma-specific-treatment-in-the-context-of-domestic-violence/">NCDVTMH Review of Trauma-Specific Treatment in the Context of DV</a> <br />
While there are numerous interventions designed to reduce trauma-related mental health symptoms, most were originally developed to address events that have occurred in the past. Many domestic violence survivors are still under threat of ongoing abuse or stalking, which not only directly impacts their physical and psychological safety but impacts treatment options as well. Little has been known about the extent to which existing evidence-based trauma treatment modalities are applicable to, or require modification for, IPV survivors. <br />
In order to address these concerns, the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health, in collaboration with Cris Sullivan, PhD, and Echo Rivera, MA, at Michigan State University, conducted a formal literature review of evidence-based trauma treatments for survivors of domestic violence. The paper, <em>A Systematic Review of Trauma-Focused Interventions for Domestic Violence Survivors</em>, provides an analysis of nine trauma-based treatments specifically designed or modified for survivors of DV, along with caveats and recommendations for research and practice going forward. <br />
The paper is part of a multi-year effort by NCDVTMH to partner with researchers, clinicians, and the DV field to build an evidence base for both trauma-informed work and trauma-specific treatment in the context of domestic violence. <br />
<br />
<li> <h5>
Featured Resources &Publications</h5>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/ncdvtmh-review-of-trauma-specific-treatment-in-the-context-of-domestic-violence/">NCDVTMH Review of Trauma-Specific Treatment in the Context of Domestic Violence</a><br /><em>March 2013</em></li>
</ul>
While there are numerous interventions designed to reduce trauma-related mental health symptoms, most were originally developed to address events that have occurred in the past. Many domestic violence survivors are still under threat of ongoing abuse or stalking, which not only directly impacts their physical and psychological safety but impacts treatment options as well. Little has been known about the extent to which existing evidence-based trauma treatment modalities are applicable to, or require modification for, IPV survivors. In order to address these concerns, NCDVTMH, in collaboration with Cris Sullivan, PhD, and Echo Rivera, MA, at Michigan State University, conducted a formal literature review of nine evidence-based trauma treatments for survivors of domestic violence. <br />
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Infosheet_Impact-of-Trauma-on-Communication_NCDVTMH_Dec2011.pdf">Impact of Trauma on Interaction and Engagement: Information Sheet for Domestic Violence Advocates</a><br /><em>December 2011</em></li>
</ul>
What are some of the ways it might look when someone is experiencing a trauma response? What are some of the ways that we can connect with a survivor who is experiencing psychological trauma? This brief information sheet is designed to help domestic violence advocates start to think about these questions in their work with survivors.<br />
</li>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-36390808062359089712014-06-12T09:55:00.001-07:002014-06-12T09:55:34.695-07:00Trauma-Informed Domestic Violence Services: Understanding the Framework and Approach. Special Collection Complete Series now available on VAWnet<h3><font style="font-weight: normal"></font> </h3> <h3><em><font style="font-weight: normal" size="2">Be sure to visit VAWnet frequently, as more and more tools for best policies and methods are finally making way to assist in leveling the field for victims/survivors and their advocates in Interpersonal Family Violence (domestic violence, child abuse and trauma).</font></em></h3> <h3> </h3> <p><font style="font-weight: normal" size="2">Source: </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview" target="_blank"><font style="font-weight: normal" size="2">VAW.net</a></font></a></p> <h3> </h3> <h3>Special Collection: Trauma-Informed Domestic Violence Services: Understanding the Framework and Approach (Part 1 of 3)</h3> <p>This is PART 1 of a 3-part collection that also includes <a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Programs.php">Building Program Capacity</a> (PART 2 of 3) and <a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Collaboration.php">Developing Collaborations and Increasing Access</a> (PART 3 of 3). PART 1 provides an overview of the framework and research supporting trauma-informed approaches to working with survivors and their children. <p> <h4><font size="4">TABLE OF CONTENTS:</font></h4> <ul> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#100">Introduction</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#200">Definitions</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#300">Framework and Philosophy</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#400">Research on Domestic Violence, Trauma, and Mental Health</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#500">Research on the Incidence, Prevalence, and Impact of Trauma</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#600">Neurobiological and Clinical Research on Trauma</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#700">Research on Resilience</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#900">Key Organizations</a></li> <ul> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#901">Domestic Violence and Trauma</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#902">Trauma and Trauma-Informed Services</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#903">Specialized Information and Assistance</a></li></ul> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#1000">References</a></li></ul> <p>This Special Collection was developed by the <a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/">National Center on<br>Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health</a> (NCDVTMH) in partnership<br>with the <a href="http://www.nrcdv.org/">National Resource Center on Domestic Violence</a>. Contact NCDVTMH for specialized <a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/trainingta/">technical assistance and training</a> on this and related topics. <p><img style="float: left; display: inline" src="http://www.vawnet.org/img/TreeRings.jpg" width="292" align="left" height="276"><em>A cross-section of a tree reveals its story as told by the pattern of growth rings, reflecting the climatic conditions in which the tree grew year by year, and documenting injuries sustained throughout its life. Much in the same way, humans experience periods of trauma and resilience over the course of our lifespans. A trauma-informed approach seeks to understand the ways in which these experiences shape us.</em></p> <p><em></em> </p> <h4><a name="100"></a><font size="3">INTRODUCTION | </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#"><font size="3">BACK TO TOP</font></a></h4> <p> <p><a href="http://www.glassbookproject.org/"><img hspace="5" vspace="5" src="http://www.vawnet.org/img/GlassBook.jpg" width="200" align="right"></a> <p>In the past 30 years, there has been a profound shift in understanding about the impact of trauma on individuals, families, and society. A growing number of studies have documented the impact of trauma on the brain and have demonstrated that violence and trauma can affect our physical health, mental health, and relationships with others (<a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9635069">Felitti, Anda, Nordenberg, et al, 1998</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=De%20Bellis%20MD%2C%20Van%20Dillen%20T.%20%20Childhood%20post-traumatic%20stress%20disorder%3A%20an%20overview.%20%20Child%20Adolesc%20Psychiatr%20Clin%20N%20Am.%20%20Oct%202005%3B14%284%29%3A745-772%2C%20ix.">De Bellis, Van Dillen, 2005</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16530588">Classen, Pain, Field, Woods, 2006</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16214172">Lanius, Bluhm, Lanius, Pain, 2006</a>;<a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2625289/">Lyons-Ruth, Dutra, Schuder, Bianchi, 2006</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181832/">McEwen, 2006</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Nemeroff%20CB.%20%20Neurobiological%20consequences%20of%20childhood%20trauma.%20%20J%20Clin%20Psychiatry.%20%202004%3B65%20Suppl%201%3A18-28.">Nemeroff, 2004</a>; <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CB8QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.traumacenter.org%2Fproducts%2Fpdf_files%2Fspecialissuecomplextraumaoct2006jts3.pdf&ei=muZlUNuWGsri0gGB4IHYAg&usg=AFQjCNEs3HapBfF4a_o1aLZwLcnIHCOjeQ&cad=rja">van der Kolk, Roth, Pelcovitz, Sunday, Spinazzola, 2005</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Yehuda%20R.%20%20Advances%20in%20understanding%20neuroendocrine%20alterations%20in%20PTSD%20and%20their%20therapeutic%20implications.%20%20Ann%20N%20Y%20Acad%20Sci.%20%20Jul%202006%3B1071%3A137-166.">Yehuda, 2006</a>). At the same time, research on trauma and resilience, combined with what we have learned from the experiences of survivors, advocates, and clinicians has begun to clarify helpful ways to respond, both within and across cultures and communities. This emerging body of knowledge offers information that can be helpful to the domestic violence (DV) field in its work with survivors and their children. <p>Building on over 20 years of work in this area, the <a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/">National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health</a> (NCDVTMH) has put into practice a framework that integrates a trauma-informed approach with a DV victim advocacy lens. The term trauma-informed is used to describe organizations and practices that incorporate an understanding of the pervasiveness and impact of trauma and that are designed to reduce retraumatization, support healing and resiliency, and address the root causes of abuse and violence (NCDVTMH 2013 adapted from Harris and Fallot 2001). The resources compiled in these linked collections reflect this integrated perspective.<a href="https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/TIC-SC"><img src="http://www.vawnet.org/img/Feedback.png" width="125" align="right"></a> <p><strong>The goals of this Special Collection series are to provide:</strong> <ul> <li>Basic information about the different ways in which trauma can affect individuals and to highlight current research on effective ways to respond to trauma; <li>Practical guidance on developing trauma-informed DV programs and services; and <li>Resources that will help support collaboration between DV programs, and mental health, substance abuse, and other social services agencies and that will increase awareness about trauma treatment in the context of DV.</li></ul> <p><b>A Note About Gender: </b><em>Intimate partner violence perpetrated by men against their female partners is epidemic. At the same time, whatever a person’s gender or their partner’s gender, they may experience intimate partner violence, and gendered language can minimize the experiences of many survivors. We have attempted to use language in this Special Collection that reflects our analysis of gender oppression and other forms of oppression, as well as our commitment to serving all survivors of domestic violence.</em> <p>The mission of the <a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/">National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health</a> is to develop and promote accessible, culturally relevant, and trauma-informed responses to domestic violence and other lifetime trauma so that survivors and their children can access the resources that are essential to their safety and well-being. NCDVTMH provides training, support, and consultation to advocates, mental health and substance abuse providers, legal professionals, and policymakers as they work to improve agency and systems-level responses to survivors and their children. <p> <h4><a name="200"></a><font size="4">DEFINITIONS | </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#"><font size="4">BACK TO TOP</font></a></h4> <p> <p><img src="http://www.vawnet.org/img/TraumaSources.jpg" width="190" align="right">The following terms are used by victim advocates, service providers, policymakers, researchers, and academics working at the intersection of trauma and domestic violence. Being familiar with the meaning of these terms will deepen your understanding of the field and make it easier to communicate with others about trauma and trauma-informed services. The "jump to" box below will take you to full definitions that are listed at the end of this collection. <p><b>Jump to:</b> <ol> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#201">Individual Trauma</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#202">Collective, Organizational, and Community Trauma</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#203">Historical Trauma</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#204">Intergenerational Trauma</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#205">Insidious Trauma</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#206">Trauma-Informed</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#207">Trauma-Specific</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#208">Triggering</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#209">Retraumatization</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#210">Revictimization</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#211">Secondary Traumatic Stress (Vicarious Trauma)</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#212">Compassion Fatigue</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#213">Resilience</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#214">Reflective Practice</a> <li><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#215">Peer Support and the Peer Movement</a></li></ol> <h4><a name="300"></a><font size="4">FRAMEWORK AND PHILOSOPHY | </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#"><font size="4">BACK TO TOP</font></a></h4> <p> <p>Being abused can affect how we feel, think, and respond to other people and the world around us. It can also increase our risk for developing mental health and substance abuse conditions. Experiencing multiple forms of abuse and oppression over the course of our lives can further increase these risks. At the same time, stigma associated with substance abuse and mental illness allows abusers to use these issues to increase their control over their partners, undermine them in custody battles, and discredit them with friends, family, and the courts, underscoring the importance of ensuring that responses to survivors are both DV- and trauma-informed (<a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/articles/">Warshaw, Moroney, & Barnes, 2003</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Briere%20J%2C%20Woo%20R%2C%20McRae%20B%2C%20Foltz%20J%2C%20Sitzman%20R.%20%20Lifetime%20victimization%20history%2C%20demographics%2C%20and%20clinical%20status%20in%20female%20psychiatric%20emergency%20room%20patient">Briere, Woo, McRae, Foltz & Sitzman, 1997</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Goodman%20LA%2C%20Dutton%20MA%2C%20Harris%20M.%20%20The%20relationship%20between%20violence%20dimensions%20and%20symptom%20severity%20among%20homeless%2C%20mentally%20ill%20women.%20%20Journal%20of%20Traumatic%20Str">Goodman, Dutton, & Harris, 1997</a>; Warshaw et. al, 2009; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2786342">Jacobson, 1989</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Lipschitz%20DS%2C%20Kaplan%20ML%2C%20Sorkenn%20JB%2C%20Faedda%20GL%2C%20Chorney%20P%2C%20Asnis%20GM.%20%20Prevalence%20and%20characteristics%20of%20physical%20and%20sexual%20abuse%20among%20psychiatric%20outpatients">Lipschitz et al, 1996</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8561181">Goodman, Dutton, Harris, 1995</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Friedman%20SH%2C%20Loue%20S.%20%20Incidence%20and%20prevalence%20of%20intimate%20partner%20violence%20by%20and%20against%20women%20with%20severe%20mental%20illness.%20%20J%20Womens%20Health%20%28Larchmt%29.%20%20May">Friedman & Loue, 2007</a>). <p> <p><strong>A TRAUMA-INFORMED APPROACH </strong><br>Over the past three decades, as knowledge about trauma has increased, there has been a significant reassessment of the ways mental health symptoms are understood. We now have a better understanding of the role that abuse and violence play in the development of mental health and substance abuse conditions. Trauma-informed approaches reflect an <a href="http://www.thenationalcouncil.org/cs/trauma_infographic"><img src="http://www.vawnet.org/img/TraumaInfographic.jpg" width="334" align="right" height="299"></a>understanding that “symptoms” may be survival strategies­­—adaptations to intolerable situations when real protection is unavailable and a person’s coping mechanisms are overwhelmed. Trauma-informed approaches focus on resilience and strengths as well as psychological harm. They also reflect an awareness of the impact of this work on providers and emphasize the importance of organizational support and provider self-care (Warshaw, Brashler & Gill, 2009; <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CB8QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.traumacenter.org%2Fproducts%2Fpdf_files%2Fspecialissuecomplextraumaoct2006jts3.pdf&ei=muZlUNuWGsri0gGB4IHYAg&usg=AFQjCNEs3HapBfF4a_o1aLZwLcnIHCOjeQ&cad=rja">van der Kolk, Roth, Pelcovitz, Sunday, & Spinazzola, 2005</a>; <a href="http://fozzie.missionmedia.net/sidran/store/index.cfm?fuseaction=product.display&product_id=121">Saakvitne, Gamble, Pearlman, & Lev, 2000</a>). <p>With the growing understanding that the majority of people seeking services in domestic violence, as well as mental health, substance abuse, and other service settings have experienced interpersonal trauma, an approach for integrating this awareness into practice has evolved. Using a trauma-informed approach has come to mean that everyone working in a service setting understands the impact of trauma in a similar way and shares certain values and goals, and that all the services and supports that are offered are designed to prevent retraumatization and to promote healing and recovery. For us, it also means thinking about people within the entire context of their lives and experiences; ensuring that our services are welcoming, inclusive and culturally attuned; and working together to address the underlying causes of oppression and abuse (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Directions-Mental-Services-Service-Systems/dp/078791438X">Harris & Fallot, 2001</a>; Warshaw, Brashler, & Gill, 2009; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Kimerling%20R%2C%20Alvarez%20J%2C%20Pavao%20J%2C%20Kaminski%20A%2C%20Baumrind%20N.%20%20Epidemiology%20and%20consequences%20of%20women%27s%20revictimization.%20%20Womens%20Health%20Issues.%20%20Mar-Apr%202007%3B17%252">Kimerling, Alvarez, Pavao, Kaminski, & Baumrind, 2007</a>; Golding, 2000). <p>Like DV victim advocacy, the trauma-informed movement within the mental health services field has historical roots in social and political advocacy. For over a hundred years, people diagnosed with mental illnesses (many of them women) fought to protect their rights and resisted what they saw as the "medicalization" of women’s issues (Levin, Blanch and Jennings, 1998). The mental health advocacy movement laid the groundwork for the adoption of trauma-informed approaches in the mental health system. Most recently, trauma-informed approaches are surfacing in hospitals and health clinics, classrooms and daycare settings, child welfare programs, homeless shelters, and job training programs. <p><strong>Combining a trauma-informed approach with a DV victim advocacy perspective provides a more integrated framework for working with survivors. This framework can serve as a powerful tool for bridging perspectives and building collaboration between fields. See <a href="http://www.vawnet.org/Assoc_Files_VAWnet/ThinkingAboutTrauma.pdf"><em>Thinking about Trauma in the Context of DV Advocacy: An Integrated Approach</em></a> by the NCDVTMH (2013).</strong> <p><strong></strong> <h4><a name="400"></a><font size="4">RESEARCH ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, TRAUMA, AND MENTAL HEALTH | </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#"><font size="4">BACK TO TOP</font></a></h4> <p> <p>A large body of research has documented the links between abuse and mental health, while advances in the fields of traumatic stress, child development, and neuroscience have generated new models for understanding the impact of trauma on survivors of domestic violence and their children. These findings, particularly when grounded in survivor and advocacy perspectives, provide new insights into the effects of interpersonal abuse across the lifespan and suggest new strategies for support. <p>Intimate partner violence is associated with a wide range of mental health consequences. Those who have been diagnosed with mental health and/or substance abuse conditions or who are experiencing psychiatric disability are at greater risk for abuse, and abusers may use their partners mental health or substance abuse condition to undermine and control them. Included in this subsection are some background materials on the relationships between domestic violence, mental health, and trauma. <ul> <li><strong>Intimate Partner Violence and Lifetime Trauma</strong> | <a href="http://nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Warshaw-IPV-and-Lifetime-Trauma.pdf">PDF</a> (6 p.)<br><em>by Carole Warshaw for the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health (May 2011)</em><br>This article reviews available research exploring the link between histories of physical and sexual abuse in childhood and intimate partner violence victimization in adulthood.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3398&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>Prevalence of Intimate Partner Violence and Other Lifetime Trauma among Women Seen in Mental Health Settings</strong> | <a href="http://nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Warshaw-Prevalence-of-IPV-in-MH-Settings.pdf">PDF</a> (6 p.)<br><em>by Carole Warshaw for the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health (May 2011)</em><br>This document provides a brief review of the available research documenting the prevalence of lifetime abuse among women receiving mental health services.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3399&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View </a></strong></li></ul> <h4><a name="500"></a><font size="4">RESEARCH ON INCIDENCE, PREVALENCE, AND IMPACT OF TRAUMA | </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#"><font size="4">BACK TO TOP</font></a></h4> <p> <p>Epidemiological research studies have measured the incidence and prevalence of violence and trauma in various populations, and findings of these studies confirm what those working in the domestic violence field have long known: that women and children in the United States face a high level of social and interpersonal violence. <p>The <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/nisvs/">National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey</a> conducted by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) clearly documents the high rates of domestic violence and sexual assault experienced by women in the United States, as well as the traumatic health and mental health effects of gender-based violence, and the fact that the majority of victimization begins early in life. <p>The <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/ace/index.htm">Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study</a>, the largest epidemiological study ever done in the United States, has documented the high rates of childhood adversity experienced by adults in this country as well as the strong relationships between childhood trauma and a range of consequences in adulthood, including health and mental health conditions, substance abuse disorders, and a higher risk of experiencing abuse in adulthood, including domestic violence. This study also demonstrates that many people have multiple types of traumatic experiences, and that the impact of trauma is cumulative: the more types of trauma experienced, the higher the risk of more serious consequences. At the same time, many factors can help to mitigate these effects, including a person’s resiliencies and strengths as well as access to social supports. <p>Learning about the cumulative impact of trauma within a framework that recognizes strengths and resiliency can help survivors to make sense of the ways they have been affected and to recognize the strengths and skills it took to survive their experiences. <p><a href="http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/nisvs/">Centers for Disease Control National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey</a> (NISVS)<br>This website presents the NISVS data in a number of different formats. The study not only highlights the prevalence of domestic and sexual violence in the United States but also the differential impact on women, including significantly higher rates of fearfulness, PTSD, concerns for safety, injury, and need for DV advocacy services. <p><a href="http://www.nccev.org/violence/domestic.html">National Center for Children Exposed to Violence</a><br>This website, hosted by the Yale Child Study Center, provides statistics on the number of children who witness domestic violence every year, the impact of witnessing DV, and strategies for effective response. It includes similar information on other types of violence children experience including community violence, school violence and media violence. It also includes a list of relevant books and journal articles. <p><a href="http://www.acestudy.org/">The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study & Website</a><br>This website provides basic information about the ACE study, the largest epidemiological study ever done in the United States. The ACE study has documented extremely strong relationships between childhood trauma and a whole range of consequences in adulthood, including health conditions, mental health and substance abuse disorders, a higher risk of experiencing trauma and abuse including domestic violence, and premature death. The website provides a tool to calculate your ACE score in six languages; frequently asked questions about the ACE study; and contact information for potential speakers. <p><a href="http://www.cdc.gov/ace/">The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Website, ACE Study Page</a><br>This website provides information on the major findings of the ACE study, including prevalence data in three major ACE categories (abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction), and demographic information on ACE study participants. It also includes a list of peer-reviewed journal articles based on ACE study findings organized by subject, including a section on interpersonal violence. <p> <h4><a name="600"></a><font size="4">NEUROBIOLOGICAL AND CLINICAL RESEARCH ON TRAUMA | </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#"><font size="4">BACK TO TOP</font></a></h4> <p> <p><a href="http://www.instituteforsafefamilies.org/materials/amazing-brain"><img src="http://www.vawnet.org/img/AmazingBrain.jpg" width="280" align="right"></a>Neurobiological research has shed light on the impact of adversity and chronic stress on the brain. When an individual perceives a threat to her or his safety, a complex set of chemical and neurological events known collectively as the "stress response" is triggered. Over time, survival responses that are adaptive in dangerous situations (e.g., shutting down, constantly surveying the room for danger, expecting to fight or run away at a moment’s notice) may occur whether or not danger is present. People who have experienced trauma may also become less able to regulate arousal and emotional responses. Being aware of the neurobiology of trauma can help advocates to better understand the effects of trauma on survivors and on themselves. Research on the effects of trauma on the developing brain can also help inform our responses to the needs of children exposed to DV, as well as to adult survivors who may have experienced trauma earlier in life. <p><a href="http://developingchild.harvard.edu/">Center on the Developing Child</a><br>Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child provides a wealth of information on child development and the effects of abuse and neglect on the developing brain. <p><a href="http://promising.futureswithoutviolence.org/">Promising Futures: Best Practices for Serving Children, Youth, and Parents Experiencing Domestic Violence</a><br>This new website was developed by Futures Without Violence, formerly the Family Violence Prevention Fund, and is designed to help domestic violence victim advocates enhance their programming for children and their mothers. If you are just starting to think about how your program’s policies could better reflect an equal commitment to mothers and children, or you have been delivering holistic services for all family members for years, this website has information and tools that can help you advance your practice. More specifically, it includes a report on <a href="http://promising.futureswithoutviolence.org/files/2013/01/16-Trauma-Informed-Evidence-Based-Recommendations-For-Advocates2.pdf">16 Trauma-Informed, Evidence-Based Recommendations for Working with Children Exposed to Domestic Violence</a>. <p><a href="http://www.trauma-pages.com/">Trauma Information Pages</a><br>Trauma Information Pages focus on emotional trauma and traumatic stress, including PTSD and dissociation, whether following individual traumatic experience(s) or a large-scale disaster. The purpose of this site is to provide information for clinicians and researchers in the traumatic-stress field. This site includes selected full-text articles about trauma—versions of preprints, published articles, and chapters on a variety of trauma-related topics.<a href="http://www.instituteforsafefamilies.org/sites/default/files/isfFiles/The_Amazing_Brain-2.pdf"><img src="http://www.instituteforsafefamilies.org/sites/default/files/styles/materials/public/materialsImages/ab1_thumb.jpeg" align="right"></a> <ul> <li><strong>The Amazing Brain: Trauma and the Potential for Healing</strong> | <a href="http://www.instituteforsafefamilies.org/sites/default/files/isfFiles/The_Amazing_Brain-2.pdf">PDF</a> (7 p.)<br><em>by Linda Burgess Chamberlain for The Institute for Safe Families (2008)</em><br>Designed specifically for parents and caregivers, this resource describes how the brain works, how it is affected by trauma, and how it can heal.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3424&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>A Science-Based Framework for Early Childhood Policy: Using Evidence to Improve Outcomes in Learning, Behavior, and Health for Vulnerable Children</strong> | <a href="http://developingchild.harvard.edu/index.php/download_file/-/view/63/">PDF</a> (36 p.)<br><em>by the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University (August 2007)</em><br>Combining knowledge from neuroscience, behavioral and developmental science, economics, and 40 years of early childhood program evaluation, the authors provide an informed, nonpartisan, pragmatic framework to guide policymakers toward science-based policies that improve the lives of young children and benefit society as a whole.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3425&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>In Brief: The Science of Early Childhood Development</strong> | <a href="http://developingchild.harvard.edu/download_file/-/view/64/">PDF</a> (2 p.)<br><em>by the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University</em><br>This edition of the InBrief series addresses basic concepts of early childhood development, established over decades of neuroscience and behavioral research, which help illustrate why child development—particularly from birth to five years—is a foundation for a prosperous and sustainable society.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3426&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>InBrief: The Impact of Early Adversity on Children's Development</strong> | <a href="http://developingchild.harvard.edu/download_file/-/view/65/">PDF</a> (2 p.)<br><em>by Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University</em><br>This edition of the InBrief series outlines basic concepts from the research on the biology of stress which show how major adversity can affect developing brain architecture and reset the body's stress response system to high alert.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3427&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>In Focus: Understanding the Effects of Maltreatment on Early Brain Development National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information</strong> | <a href="http://www.nmaimh.org/earlybrain.pdf">PDF</a> (13 p.)<br><em>by the National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information (October 2001)</em><br>This document is an easy to understand review of how the brain develops, the effects of maltreatment on brain development, and implications for policy and practice.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3428&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>Trauma Annotated Bibliography</strong> | <a href="http://www.isst-d.org/default.asp?contentID=77">HTML</a><br><em>by the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation</em><br>This annotated bibliography on trauma was peer reviewed by the ISSTD and represents a thoughtful summary of what are believed to be salient information in the articles noted.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3429&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>The PILOTS Database</strong> | <a href="http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/pilots-database/pilots-db.asp">HTML</a><br><em>by the US Department of Veteran’s Affairs (2007)</em><br>The Published International Literature on Traumatic Stress (PILOTS) Database is an electronic index to the worldwide literature on PTSD and other mental health consequences of exposure to traumatic events.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3430&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <h4><a name="700"></a><font size="4">RESEARCH ON RESILIENCE | </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#"><font size="4">BACK TO TOP</font></a></h4> <p> <p><img src="http://www.vawnet.org/img/Sun.jpg" align="right"> <p>Resiliency is our inherent capacity to make adaptations that result in positive outcomes in spite of serious threats or adverse circumstances. Experience working with survivors and research on resiliency show that there are some factors that appear to support and enhance our resiliency. Having a supportive community, whether through one's family, neighborhood, school, church, sports activities, or hobbies, is one factor that supports resiliency. A feeling of being valued and belonging is important, as well as being able to engage other people in positive ways. For children, factors that support resiliency include the response of caregivers and other caring adults who take an interest in the child and his or her development, sees him or her as a separate person, and helps him or her develop the ability to cope. <ul> <li><strong>Ordinary Magic: Resilience Processes in Development</strong> | <a href="http://homepages.uwp.edu/crooker/745-resile/articles/Masten-2001.pdf">PDF</a> (12 p.)<br><em>by Ann S. Masten for the American Psychologist (March 2001)</em><br>This article concludes that resilience is made of ordinary rather than extraordinary processes, offering a more positive outlook on human development and adaptation, as well as direction for policy and practice aimed at enhancing the development of children at risk for problems and psychopathology.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3431&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>Disaster Preparation and Recovery: Lessons from Research on Resilience in Human Development</strong> | <a href="http://www.ecologyandsociety.org/vol13/iss1/art9/ES-2007-2282.pdf">PDF</a> (16 p.)<br><em>by Ann S. Masten and Jelena Obradović for Ecology and Society (2008)</em><br>While this paper focuses on resilience in the face of disaster, it also provides a helpful overview of the resilience research literature. The authors build on four decades of theory and research on resilience in human development to offer lessons for planning disaster response and recovery, lessons that are also relevant for domestic violence survivors and their children.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3432&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>Resilience Bibliography</strong> | <a href="http://www.childwitnesstoviolence.org/resilience.html">HTML</a><br><em>by the Child Witness to Violence Project</em><br>This page provides a bibliography of resilience research articles of particular relevance for children exposed to DV. Links to full text are available for some of the articles.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3433&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>Promoting resilience: Helping young children and parents affected by substance abuse, domestic violence, and depression in the context of welfare reform</strong> | <a href="http://nccp.org/publications/pdf/text_389.pdf">PDF</a> (23 p.)<br><em>Children and Welfare Reform Issue Brief No. 8 by Jane Knitzer for the National Center for Children in Poverty (February 2000)</em><br>This is Issue Brief #8 in a series based on a growing body of research that suggests that successful policies for families must take into account the needs of children when addressing the needs of parents and the needs of parents when addressing the needs of children.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3434&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>Building Resilience: The Power to Cope With Adversity</strong> | <a href="http://www.zerotothree.org/maltreatment/31-1-prac-tips-beardslee.pdf">PDF</a> (2 p.)<br><em>by William R. Beardslee, Mary Watson Avery, Catherine C. Ayoub, Caroline L. Watts, and Patricia Lester for Zero to Three (2010)</em><br>This resource provides a synopsis of resiliency capabilities within the individual child, family, caregiving, and community levels. It states children who have grown up in challenging environments are still capable of engaging in age-appropriate activities, relating to others, and understanding their family life.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3435&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <ul> <li><strong>Positive Changes Following Adversity</strong> | <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/attachments/75676/positive-changes-following-adversity.pdf">PDF</a> (8 p.)<br><em>by Stephen Joseph and Lisa D. Butler for the National Center for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (Summer 2010)</em><br>This issue focuses on positive change following adversity or the concept of posttraumatic growth. It provides a summary and analysis of research in this burgeoning area that brings together research from the trauma and positive psychology fields, offering another way to look at traumatic experiences focusing on the positive changes and growth that can ensue.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3436&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <h4><a name="900"></a><font size="4">KEY ORGANIZATIONS | </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#"><font size="4">BACK TO TOP</font></a></h4> <p> <p>The following list includes key national organizations that provide information on trauma and domestic violence or assistance in implementing trauma-informed approaches. All of the sites listed have a public service mission and speak to a wide variety of audiences. <blockquote><a name="901"></a><strong>Domestic Violence and Trauma</strong> <p><a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/">National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health</a><br>The mission of the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health (NCDVTMH) is to develop and promote accessible, culturally relevant, and trauma-informed responses to domestic violence and other lifetime trauma so that survivors and their children can access the resources that are essential to their safety and well-being. <p><a href="http://www.avahealth.org/">Academy on Violence and Abuse</a><br>The Academy on Violence and Abuse (AVA) was formed in order to help strengthen the capacity of the healthcare community to provide the best possible care to those whose health is adversely affected by violence and abuse, and to prevent future occurrences of violence and abuse in society. Most of the trauma-related information on this website relates to the developmental effects of trauma on children.</p></blockquote> <p><a name="902"></a><strong>Trauma and Trauma-Informed Services</strong><br><em>The following organizations provide information and assistance on trauma-related topics relevant to the work of domestic violence programs and services. Organizations included focus on trauma-informed care broadly rather than promoting a single model.</em></p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.samhsa.gov/nctic/">National Center for Trauma-Informed Care (NCTIC)</a><br>NCTIC is a Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)-sponsored national center focusing on the implementation of trauma-informed approaches across a variety of health and human services.</p> <p><a href="http://www.nctsn.org/">National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN)</a><br>Established by Congress in 2000 and funded by SAMHSA, NCTSN is a collaboration of academic and community-based service centers whose mission is to raise the standard of care and increase access to services for traumatized children and their families across the United States. <p><a href="http://www.icctc.org/index.htm">The Indian Country Child Trauma Center (ICCTC) </a><br>The Indian Country Child Trauma Center (ICCTC) was established to develop trauma-related treatment protocols, outreach materials, and service delivery guidelines specifically designed for American Indian and Alaska Native (AI/AN) children and their families. It is part of the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, funded by the Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) under the National Child Traumatic Stress Initiative. <p><a href="http://www.nccev.org/">National Center for Children Exposed to Violence </a><br>The mission of the NCCEV is to increase the capacity of individuals and communities to reduce the incidence and impact of violence on children and families; to train and support the professionals who provide intervention and treatment to children and families affected by violence; and, to increase professional and public awareness of the effects of violence on children, families, communities and society. <p><a href="http://www.acesconnection.com/">The ACEs Connection </a><br>The ACEs Connection is a social networking site for people involved in implementing trauma-informed approaches across the country. The site offers regularly updated information about innovations in trauma-informed services, upcoming events, and advancements in knowledge and practice. <p><a href="http://www.theannainstitute.org/">The Anna Institute (formerly the Anna Foundation)</a><br>This site is dedicated to Anna Jennings, an artist and sexual abuse survivor who took her own life after being repeatedly misdiagnosed by the mental health system. The site includes much of her artwork as well extensive resources on trauma and trauma-informed care.</p></blockquote> <p align="left"><a name="903"></a><strong>Specialized Information and Assistance</strong><br><em>The following organizations offer information on specific issues that may be relevant to the work of some domestic violence programs and services.</em></p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://gainscenter.samhsa.gov/">GAINS Center </a><br>SAMHSA’s GAINS Center focuses on expanding access to community-based services for adults diagnosed with co-occurring mental illness and substance use disorders at all points of contact with the justice system.</p> <p><a href="http://www.ptsd.va.gov/">National Center for PTSD</a><br>The National Center for PTSD is a center of excellence for research and education on the prevention, understanding, and treatment of PTSD. The National Center for PTSD may be of interest to domestic violence programs and service providers working with current and former members of the military. <p><a href="http://www.samhsa.gov/dtac/default.asp">National Disaster Technical Assistance Center (DTAC)</a><br>SAMHSA’s Disaster Technical Assistance Center (DTAC) assists States, Territories, Tribes, and local entities with all-hazards disaster behavioral health response planning that allows them to prepare for and respond to both natural and human-caused disasters. DTAC may be of particular interest to domestic violence programs and services with a focus on trauma-informed disaster planning and response. <p><a href="http://www.militaryonesource.mil/abuse/service-providers">Department of Defense Family Advocacy Program</a><br>The Family Advocacy Program (FAP), managed by the Office of the Secretary of Defense and implemented by the military services, provides resources for families experiencing child abuse and domestic abuse, including prevention services, early identification and intervention, support for victims, and treatment for offenders.<br>*See the related VAWnet Special Collections: <a href="http://vawnet.org/special-collections/SVMilitary.php">Sexual Violence in the Military</a> and <a href="http://vawnet.org/special-collections/DVMilitary.php">The Intersection of Domestic Violence and the Military</a>.</p></blockquote> <h4><a name="1000"></a><font size="4">REFERENCES | </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#"><font size="4">BACK TO TOP</font></a></h4> <p> <ul> <li><strong>References: Trauma-Informed Domestic Violence Services</strong> | <a href="http://www.vawnet.org/Assoc_Files_VAWnet/TIC-References.pdf"> PDF</a> (7 p.)<br><em>by the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma, and Mental Health for the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (April 2013)</em><br>This list provides bibliographic references for the 3-part VAWnet Special Collection series, Trauma-Informed Domestic Violence Services.<br><strong><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/summary.php?doc_id=3531&find_type=web_sum_GC">+ View Summary</a></strong></li></ul> <h4><font size="4">DEFINITIONS | </font><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview#"><font size="4">BACK TO TOP</font></a></h4> <p> <p>1. <a name="201"></a><strong>Individual Trauma. </strong><em>Trauma</em> is the unique individual experience of an event or enduring condition in which the individual experiences a threat to life or to her or his psychic or bodily integrity, and experiences intense fear, helplessness, or horror. A key aspect of what makes something traumatic is that the individual’s coping capacity and/or ability to integrate their emotional experience is overwhelmed. Trauma often impacts individuals in multiple domains, including physical, social, emotional, and/or spiritual (<a href="http://www.sidran.org/sub.cfm?contentID=88&sectionid=4">Giller, 1999</a>; <a href="http://books.wwnorton.com/books/detail.aspx?id=8949">Pearlman & Saakvitne, 1995</a>; <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jts.20046/abstract">van der Kolk & Courtois, 2005</a>). <p>2. <a name="202"></a><strong>Collective, Organizational, and Community Trauma. </strong>The terms <em>collective trauma, organizational trauma</em>, and <em>community traum</em>a refer to the impact that traumatic events can have on the functioning and culture of a group, organization, or entire community (e.g., the effects of the 1999 Columbine High School shooting, Hurricane Katrina, and the 9/11 terrorist attacks on their respective communities). <p>3. <a name="203"></a><strong>Historical Trauma. </strong><em>Historical trauma</em> refers to cumulative emotional and psychological wounding over the lifespan and across generations, emanating from massive group trauma experiences. Understanding historical trauma means recognizing that people may carry deep wounds from things that happened to a group with which they identify, even if they did not directly experience the event themselves. Historical trauma follows from events such as the colonization of generations of Indigenous Peoples, the enslavement of Africans and their descendants, and the losses and outrages of the Holocaust. While the term refers to events that occurred in the past, it is important to remember that for many communities the trauma or oppressive conditions associated with the historical trauma have been institutionalized and are ongoing (Packard, 2012; BigFoot, 2000; Willmon-Haque & BigFoot, 2008, Braveheart, 1999). <p>4. <a name="204"></a><strong>Intergenerational Trauma. </strong><em>Intergenerational trauma</em> refers to the effects of harms that have been carried over in some form from one generation to the next. The concept is similar to historical trauma, although it is frequently used to refer to trauma that occurs within families rather than in larger (e.g., racial, ethnic, cultural, or religious) groups. <p>5. <a name="205"></a><strong>Insidious Trauma. </strong><em>Insidious trauma</em> refers to the daily incidents of marginalization, objectification, dehumanization, intimidation, et cetera that are experienced by members of groups targeted by racism, heterosexism, ageism, ableism, sexism, and other forms of oppression, and groups impacted by poverty. Maria Root, who coined the term insidious trauma described the concepts as follows:"Traumatogenic effects of oppression that are not necessarily overtly violent or threatening to bodily well-being at the given moment but that do violence to the soul and spirit. " (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Personality-Psychopathology-Laura-Brown-ABPP/dp/0898627745">Root 1992</a>; <a href="http://www.drlaurabrown.com/written/personality-and-psychopathology-feminist-reappraisals/">Brown & Ballou, 1992</a>) <p>6. <a name="206"></a><strong>Trauma-Informed. </strong>A <em>trauma-informed</em> program, organization, system, or community is one that incorporates an understanding of the pervasiveness of trauma and its impact into every aspect of its practice or programs. In such settings, understanding about trauma is reflected in the knowledge, attitudes, and skills of individuals as well as in organizational structures such as policies, procedures, language, and supports for staff. This includes attending to culturally specific experiences of trauma and providing culturally relevant and linguistically appropriate services. It also includes recognizing that not only are the people being served potentially affected by trauma but that staff members may be as well. <p>Central to this perspective is viewing trauma-related responses from the vantage point of "what happened to you" rather than "what’s wrong with you," recognizing these responses as survival strategies, and focusing on survivors’ individual and collective strengths. Trauma-informed programs are welcoming and inclusive and based on principles of respect, dignity, inclusiveness, trustworthiness, empowerment, choice, connection, and hope. They are designed to attend to both physical and emotional safety, to avoid retraumatizing those who seek assistance, to support healing and recovery, and to facilitate meaningful participation of survivors in the design, implementation, and evaluation of services. Supervision and support for staff to safely reflect on and attend to their own responses and to learn and grow from their experiences is another critical aspect of trauma-informed work. <p>The term trauma-informed services was originally coined by Maxine Harris and Roger Fallot in their edited book, <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Directions-Mental-Services-Service-Systems/dp/078791438X">Using Trauma Theory to Design Service Systems </a></em>(2001) and has been adapted by multiple writers and in multiple service settings. This working definition by NCDVTMH is adapted specifically for the DV field and incorporates some of the original elements as well as other elements and concepts critical to our work with survivors. <p>7. <a name="207"></a><strong>Trauma-Specific. </strong>The term <em>trauma-specific</em> refers to interventions or treatments designed to facilitate recovery from the effects of trauma. There are a number of promising and evidence-based treatment modalities that address PTSD and other trauma-related conditions (e.g. depression, substance abuse, complex PTSD), although few have been designed specifically for domestic violence survivors. Trauma-specific services, while intended to address the consequences of trauma, may not always be trauma-informed. In other words, they may focus on treating trauma symptoms without necessarily being attuned to the experience of trauma or ways the service setting and processes may themselves be retraumatizing (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Directions-Mental-Services-Service-Systems/dp/078791438X">Harris & Fallot, 2001</a>; Warshaw, Brashler & Gill, 2009; Warshaw, Sullivan & Rivera, 2012)<strong></strong>. <p>8. <a name="208"></a><strong>Triggering. </strong>A <em>trigger</em> is something that evokes a memory of past traumatizing events including the feelings and sensations associated with those experiences. Encountering such triggers may cause us to feel uneasy or afraid, although we may not always realize why we feel that way. A trigger can make us feel as if we are reliving a traumatic experience and can elicit a fight, flight or freeze response. Many things can be a possible trigger for someone. A person might be triggered by a particular color of clothing, by the smell of a certain food, or the time of year. Internal sensations can be triggers, as well. Once we become aware of triggers, we might feel an impulse to "get rid of all possible triggers. " Of course, we will avoid violent images or angry tones in our speech and try to make the environment calm. However, there will always be trauma triggers that we cannot anticipate and cannot avoid. Part of trauma-informed work is supporting survivors as they develop the skills to manage trauma responses both in our service settings and elsewhere in the world (<a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Infosheet_Understanding-Traumatic-Triggers_NCDVTMH_Dec2011.pdf">National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health</a>). <p>9. <a name="209"></a><strong>Retraumatization. </strong><em>Retraumatization</em> occurs when any situation, interaction, or environmental factor is itself traumatic or oppressive in a way that also replicates events or dynamics of prior traumas and evokes feelings and reactions associated with the original traumatic experiences. Retraumatization may compound the impact of the original experience. <p>10. <a name="210"></a><strong>Revictimization</strong>. Experiencing abuse—including physical or sexual abuse or sexual assault—increases our risk of experiencing violence or abuse in the future. <em>Revictimization</em> may occur in a similar or different context. When examining the prevalence of revictimization, it is important to consider the social context and the factors that put people at greater risk for being victimized (<a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Kimerling%20R%2C%20Alvarez%20J%2C%20Pavao%20J%2C%20Kaminski%20A%2C%20Baumrind%20N.%20%20Epidemiology%20and%20consequences%20of%20women%27s%20revictimization.%20%20Womens%20Health%20Issues.%20%20Mar-Apr%202007%3B17%282%29%3A1">Kimerling, Alvarez, Pavao, Kaminski, & Baumrind, 2007</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Lindhorst%20T%2C%20Oxford%20M.%20%20The%20long-term%20effects%20of%20intimate%20partner%20violence%20on%20adolescent%20mothers%27%20depressive%20symptoms.%20%20Soc%20Sci%20Med.%20%20Mar%202008%3B66%286%29%3A1322-1333.">Lindhorst & Oxford, 2008</a>; <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Sexual%20Revictimization%20%3A%20A%20Review%20of%20the%20Empirical%20Literature%20Catherine%20C.%20%20Classen%2C%20Oxana%20Gronskaya%20Palesh%20and%20Rashi%20Aggarwal%20Trauma%20Violence%20Abuse%202005%206%3A%20103">Classen, Palesh, Aggarwa,l 2005</a>). <p>11. <a name="211"></a><strong>Secondary Traumatic Stress (Vicarious Trauma). </strong><em>Secondary traumatic stress</em> (sometimes called <em>vicarious trauma</em>) refers to the emotional effects that can occur when an individual bears witness to the trauma experiences of another. For example, DV victim advocates may experience secondary traumatic stress from listening empathically to survivors recounting their stories. Individuals affected by secondary traumatic stress may themselves experience trauma-related responses as a result of the indirect trauma exposure or may find themselves re-experiencing trauma that they have experienced in their own lives. The cumulative effects of secondary traumatic stress may be seen in both professional and personal life. <p>12. <a name="212"></a><strong>Compassion Fatigue. </strong><em>Compassion fatigue</em> is a related term used to describe exhaustion and desensitization to violent and traumatic events encountered in professional work or in the media. Both secondary traumatic stress and compassion fatigue can result from bearing witness and connecting empathically to another person’s experience and being emotionally present in the face of intense pain (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Compassion-Fatigue-Secondary-Traumatized-Psychosocial/dp/0876307594">Pearlman and Saakvitne, 1995</a>; Prescott, personal communication, 2005). <p>13. <a name="213"></a><strong>Resilience. </strong><em>Resiliency</em> is our inherent capacity to make adaptations that result in positive outcomes in spite of serious threats or adverse circumstances. Experience working with survivors and research on resiliency show that there are some factors that appear to support and enhance our resiliency. Having a supportive community, whether through one's family, neighborhood, school, church, sports activities, or hobbies, is one factor that supports resiliency. A feeling of being valued and belonging is important, as well as being able to engage other people in positive ways, whether through one’s ability to relate to others or through one’s capacities and talents. For children, factors that support resiliency include the response of caregivers and other caring adults, namely having at least one person who takes an interest in the child and their development, sees them as a separate person, and helps them develop their ability to cope (<a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/amp/56/3/227/">Masten, 2001</a>;<a href="http://www.cea-ace.ca/education-canada/article/ordinary-magic-lessons-research-or-resilience-human-development">Masten, 2009</a>; <a href="http://www.guilford.com/p/reich">Masten & Wright, 2009</a>). <p>14. <a name="214"></a><strong>Reflective Practice</strong>. The term <em>reflective practice</em> was coined by Donald Schon, who described it as "the capacity to reflect on action so as to engage in a process of continuous learning." In our day-to-day work, reflective practice involves a process of mutual and ongoing learning in an organization. As an approach to supervision, it removes the authoritarian "top-down" focus of some administrative supervision, replacing it with a collaborative approach that allows the knowledge, expertise, and experience of program staff to be shared, strengthened, and applied to our mutual goal of increasing safety and empowerment for battered women and their children. In individual DV work, the advocate approaches all her encounters with survivors with a readiness to examine her own practice and to reflect with and about the survivor's needs and experience in order to meet the survivor's goals (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Donald-A.%20-Schon/e/B000APCDY6/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1">Schon, 1983</a>). <p>15. <a name="215"></a><strong>Peer Support and the Peer Movement. </strong><em>Peer support</em> is a way for people from diverse backgrounds who share experiences in common to come together to build relationships in which they share their strengths and support each other’s healing and growth. Peer support promotes healing through taking action and by building relationships among a community of equals. It is not about "helping" others in a hierarchical way but about learning from one another and building connections. Mental health, substance abuse, and domestic violence all have strong traditions of peer support, although these traditions differ somewhat in their histories and their specific goals. In the mental health community, the peer movement is a term used to describe the political advocacy movement of people with mental health diagnoses who seek to increase their control over services and change laws limiting their rights (formerly called the consumer, ex-patient, or survivor movement). The peer support movement, however, does not focus on diagnoses but is rooted in compassion for oneself and others (<a href="http://www.nasmhpd.org/publications/engagingWomen.aspx">Blanch, Filson, Penney, et al, 2012</a>). Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-43474806831862092142014-06-12T09:13:00.001-07:002014-06-12T09:13:02.805-07:00Trauma-Informed Domestic Violence Services Special Collection<p>In the last few years there has been incredible research and medical identification of trauma and measurement on the brain. The ACE studies opened the door for a shift in paradigm in the treatment of trauma on childhood abuse and domestic violence, also coined “complex trauma”. Years of enduring trauma in the “fight or flight” survival skills, in the trauma informed care approach, treats survivors from a strengths perspective and not one of a “fix” psycho-analytical “old-psych-school-voo-doo”.</p> <p>In my research with the “trauma informed care approach” in domestic violence, I am pleasantly surprised to see that most of the new best policy's and practices are driven from the survivors perspective. And yes, it all from the loss of battered mothers children to the abuser when they file for divorce. Below is the framework for advocates and for survivors. What stands out the most to me is that throughout there is always a self check for the professionals and the organizations to change to meet the needs of those women and children who have endured years of trauma and abuse. Mothers, use this information to assist those who advocate for you, in and out of family court. The trauma informed care approach should be implemented in every setting. I am excited about the shifts in the paradigm to the “whole” and or holistic approach to trauma, specifically, Interpersonal and Family Violence (IPV) domestic violence & child abuse. The pendulum is swinging back.</p> <p>xoxo –C</p> <p>####</p> <p> </p> <p><b>Trauma-Informed Domestic Violence Services Special Collection</b> <p> Source: <a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/publications-products/ncdvtmh-review-of-trauma-specific-treatment-in-the-context-of-domestic-violence/">National Center Domestic Violence & Trauma</a> <p>Building on over 20 years of work, the <a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/">National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health</a>(NCDVTMH) has put into practice a framework that integrates a trauma-informed approach with a DV victim advocacy lens. This new 3-part Special Collection, developed by NCDVTMH in collaboration with the <a href="http://www.nrcdv.org/">National Resource Center on Domestic Violence</a> (NRCDV), reflects this integrated perspective and brings together the resources on trauma and trauma-informed work that are most relevant to domestic violence programs and advocates, along with commentary from NCDVTMH to assist in putting this information into practice. <table cellpadding="0" border="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td> <hr align="center" size="1" width="100%"> <p><b>Part I</b> <p><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Overview">Understanding the Framework and Approach</a> provides an overview of the framework and research supporting trauma-informed approaches to working with survivors and their children. <hr align="center" size="1" width="100%"> <p><b>Part II</b> <p><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Programs.php">Building Program Capacity</a> provides practical tools and resources on building capacity to implement trauma-informed programs. <hr align="center" size="1" width="100%"> <p><b>Part III</b> <p><a href="http://www.vawnet.org/special-collections/DVTraumaInformed-Collaboration.php">Developing Collaborations and Increasing Access</a> provides resources for building collaboration to ensure that survivors and their children have access to culture-, domestic violence- and trauma-informed mental health and substance abuse services. <hr align="center" size="1" width="100%"> </td> <td valign="top"> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-36LhGXo_l24/U5nRgChplSI/AAAAAAAAqDM/JwkkT7qxqXM/s1600-h/clip_image001%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img title="clip_image001" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="clip_image001" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-x6Th1-suT1A/U5nRhj50HKI/AAAAAAAAqDU/diKYXHLEG_M/clip_image001_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="184"></a><br><i>“Using a trauma-informed approach has come to mean that everyone working in a service setting understands the impact of trauma in a similar way and shares certain values and goals, and that all the services and supports that are offered are designed to prevent retraumatization and to promote healing and recovery.”</i></p></td></tr></tbody></table> <table cellpadding="0" border="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td> <p><a href="http://www.nationalcenterdvtraumamh.org/"><b><img title="clip_image003" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="clip_image003" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-0eC3lW-yABI/U5nRie0F_II/AAAAAAAAqDc/QhfxCl7evPA/clip_image003%25255B3%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="69"></b></a></p></td> <td> <p><a href="http://www.nrcdv.org/"><b><img title="clip_image005" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="clip_image005" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-p_YogYmayE4/U5nRjaWHbvI/AAAAAAAAqDk/Ncnr60tS8C4/clip_image005%25255B3%25255D.png?imgmax=800" width="244" height="38"></b></a></p></td></tr></tbody></table> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-36390056118457289332014-01-14T17:39:00.001-08:002014-01-14T17:43:02.940-08:00Power and Control: Domestic Violence in America in Documentary (+playlist)<br />
Please see http://www.powerandcontrolfilm.com/ for more video, interviews with police, medical, survivors and experts from around the world, companion to this full length documentary.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="470" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/7UoTfMxJynY" width="680"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-21337892156216839582014-01-14T17:28:00.001-08:002014-09-02T20:29:14.797-07:00Profit Over Protection - The Industry Of Abuse. Spotlight "Kansas Batterer Intervention Program"<div class="MsoTitle">
<i>Author Note: When I began researching this topic, it was to be a broad and national review paper. However, to show the different views of what researchers thought were important in the successes of this program, I came across my own state's Batterer Intervention Program (BIP). The more I learned, the angrier I became. Although the state of Kansas really sticks out in this particular profit over protection, BIP -- the nation it's self uses funding for all sorts of so called BS. </i></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<i>The bottom line is simple. What all the organizations, all the same ole same, all the (fill in the blank) are doing, and the new - take their place fatherhood initiatives, and their by-organizations, are doing, is NOT working. It is time to stop profiting and start protecting. Until that time, if ever it comes, domestic violence will never end. As you can tell, it is only getting worst. No longer are their just "punches" and "slaps". We simply have "dead' and more dead. Women and her children, being murdered daily.</i></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<i>When will we finally say, "enough is enough?" Until that time, like that program below, profit over protection is all that victims can expect.</i></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<i>(hat tip to joel - for the term "Profit Over Protection")</i></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<i>-Claudine</i></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i><img src="http://www.davidicke.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/blood-money.jpg" /></div>
<h3>
<br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b> Are Batterer Intervention Programs Reducing Domestic
Violence?</b></div>
</h3>
<div class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Courts often mandate that ‘convicted’ abusive partners
attend “batterer intervention programs” <i>in
addition</i> to serving a probation term. Throughout the past twenty years,
alternatives to battering programs and batter intervention programs receive
funding through local, state and federal agencies. The very name of these
programs implies that they reduce domestic violence.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is the consensus
across the board with experts and scholars in the field of Intimate Partner
Violence, that these programs, by varying names, since their inception more
than twenty years ago, are not treatment modalities, <i>they do not cure</i>, and that battering is not a mental illness.
However, due to the lack of prosecutions and the lack of consequences to the
batterer or perpetrator, the increase in the use of ‘batterer intervention
programs” have been implemented by almost every State in an attempt to further
follow up with the perpetrator as part of his probation requirements in a
domestic violence conviction. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, the
National consensus and final conclusions, from the large body of objective
data, research and studies, as per the National Institute of Justice, The
Department of Justice, The Office of Crime Victims and other Leading
organizations is that; <i>“Batterer Intervention
Programs Do Not Change Offender Behavior.”</i> The recent National Institute of
Justice report isa compilation of data and research over the past decade and as
a result, the report spurred a joint committee sponsored by National Institute
of Justice (NIJ) and the Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF) to have an
“Expert’s Round Table” meeting in December 2009. The resulting meeting
published in 2010 “Doing the Work and Measuring the Progress: Batterer
Intervention Meeting Report,” in which includes, executive order and further
recommendations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the major
recurring themes in the research is that there exists a gap between “what
researchers emphasize when they evaluate batterer intervention programs” and
“what practitioners consider reflective of their program goals and
accomplishments.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For example: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oddly, or not,
during this research paper, there currently does not exist an audit report in
the State of Kansas on the Batterer Intervention Programs. In fact my research
shows that the Kansas States “Batterer Intervention Program” – adopted by the
Kansas Attorney General’s Office, as the ‘model’ for Domestic Violence
and Batterer Intervention <i>(KS Attorney
General, Victims’ Rights)</i>’ is one in the same as the “Kansas Family Peace
Initiatives” (FPI) founded entirely by one person with his private business
attached to it. The FPI claims an astonishing “<b><i>81% success rate”</i></b> in
their Batterer Intervention Program and they simply state: <i>“our success rate has been verified by private sources retained by
FPI.”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i></i> Therefore, we are to take the ‘word’ of the Family Peace Initiative’s
own agenda, and platform. An individual, not a group, but a business, in that “<i>they”</i> claim is so successful, although
no objective data or empirical research can be found to verify this, even
though it would be <i>the only</i> Batterer
Intervention Program in the Nation, to claim an<i> “81 percent success rate</i>,” when the rest of the Nation shows none.
This gives rise to a whole other set of ethical issues and questions. In that, from the Family Peace Initiative
website, <i>(www.FamilyPeaceInitiative.com) </i>“they” now offer --<i>“paid for”</i> expert testimony, <i>“paid for“</i> expert training, to which the
“husband and wife” team are currently
booking ‘training's’ throughout Kansas
and Texas at $300.00 per person with a thirty person cap per class. This, is in addition to the money earned not
only from Federal and State grants, funding for the program its self,but also
from the public and the clients/perpetrators who are court ordered to attend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, since
the Judiciary and Criminal Justice system have failed and continues to fail
victims of domestic violence, the Batterers Intervention Program is all that
‘victims’ receive in the way of any type of validation and nothing remotely
close to justice. It is also another way to keep ‘eyes on’ the batterer, in
alleged protections of the victim, for those very failures. Imagine what should
be a prosecution and incarceration of a severe person crime, that now has moved
to “treating the batterers” and not the victim. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In conclusion,
with the overwhelming research readily available nationally, it is more than
clear that Batterer Intervention Programs have had ‘minimal at best’ to
‘absolutely no effect’ at all, on reducing violence against women. It is clear
from reviewing other perpetrator/victim crimes that prosecution alone is the
single strongest deterrent in reducing violence against women. So this begs the
question, “Why are we funding yet another wasted program where we “think” we
should “treat” a perpetrator versus “prosecute”? And, further harms incurred by
sending out a false sense of security from the Judges, to the public, and the
victims - by what is essentially, further silencing victims of domestic
violence by “treating” the criminal as if it were a disease. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Batter Intervention
Programs do not decrease domestic violence. Yet <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3734685209932911961" name="_GoBack"></a>there
continues to be an increase in the use of ‘batterer intervention programs”. I
believe this program needs to be tabled and other sources sought out and
implemented to decrease domestic violence.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Further reading:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="SectionTitle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; text-indent: -.5in;">
Works Cited</div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Babcock, J.C., C.E. Green, and C. Robie.</span><em>“Does
Batterers' Treatment Work? A Meta-Analytic
Review of Domestic Violence Treatment.”</em><span class="style2"><i>Clinical Psychology Review</i></span><span class="style2"> 23 (2004): 1023-1053.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Edleson, Jeffery, L,.“GROUPWORK WITH MEN WHO BATTER: WHAT THE
RESEARCH LITERATURE INDICATES”, <i>National
Resource Center on Violence Against Women,</i> February 2012.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Feder, L., and D.B. Wilson. “A Meta-Analytic Review of
Court-Mandated Batterer Intervention Programs: Can Courts Affect Abusers'
Behavior?” <i>Journal of Experimental
Criminology</i> 1 (2005): 239–262.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Gondolf, Edward, W,. “IMPLEMENTING MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT FOR
BATTERER PROGRAM PARTICIPANTS: IINTERAGENCY BREAKDOWNS AND UNDERLYING ISSUES”, <i>Violence Against Women</i> (volume 15 [6],
pages 638-655), Sage Pub June 2009. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Gondolf, Edward, W,. “THE FUTURE OF BATTERER PROGRAMS ~
REASSESSING EVIDENCE-BASED PRACTICE” <i>National
Coalition Domestic Violence Sexual Assault</i>, April 2012<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Hench, David,. “IS ANGER MANAGEMENT A REMEDY FOR BATTERERS? A
FEDERAL BAN ON USING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE GRANTS TO FUND THE PROGRAMS RAISES SOME
QUESTIONS” <i>Portland Press Herald,</i> October 10, 2004. Web.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">J, S., L. Feder, D.R. Forde, R.C. Davis, C.D. Maxwell, and B.G.
Taylor. “Batterer Research Report”, U.S<i>.
Department of Justice, National Institute of Justice</i>, June 2003, NCJ
195079.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Johnson, Carolyn, Y., “MOST MEN RE-OFFEND, SAYS STUDY OF
BATTERING – LONGEST LOOK TO DATE PAINTS A DARKER PICTURE” <i>The New York Times,</i> Web. November 9, 2006 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">National Institute of Justice. “Batterer Intervention Programs
Often Do Not Change Offender Behavior” <i>Interventions:
Batterer Programs</i>, Web. Research Report 2009<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Pamela C. Alexander,. “Stages of Change and the Group Treatment
of Batterers” <i>Final Report to National
Institute of Justice,</i> March 31, 2007 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Perotta, Tom, MANY IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COMMUNITY QUESTION
BATTERER INTERVENTION PROGRAMS, <i>New York
Law Journal Online</i>, February 23, 2006.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Travis, Alan, “OFFENDERS’ ANGER CONTROL CLASSES HELP MAKE SOME
MORE DANGEROUS; COURSES AXED AS RESULT OF MONCKTON MURDER INQUIRY ~ KILLER'S
TRAINING HELPED HIM WIN RELEASE”, <i>The
Guardian</i>, Web. Manchester, UK: April 24, 2006.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span class="style2">Zorza, Joan. “VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN – VICTIMS AND ABUSERS –
LEGAL ISSUES – INTERVENTIONS AND TREATMENT”, Civic Research Institute, Inc.,
2006</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-71484039485782374062013-08-27T11:06:00.001-07:002013-08-27T11:16:04.444-07:00Dombrowski et el V. U.S.A, 2007 -- PETITION # 664-07 International Commission Human Rights (IACHR)<p>This case is still pending at the IACHR. We expect a ruling any day. The last that we heard the commission had asked for more information from the petitioners that request can be seen <a href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/161511733/IACHR-2012-Nov-15-Dombrowski-et-el-V-U-S-A-2007-Mothers-Lawsuit" target="_blank">Follow up request from the commission 2013</a>. I supplied the requested information of my part in February 2013. I have also started a file that can be <a href="http://www.scribd.com/collections/4333991/IACHR-Files" target="_blank">viewed here</a> related to the IACHR.</p> <blockquote> <p> Since the information is no longer available via the stop family violence <a href="http://iachr-mothers-petition.blogspot.com/p/httpweb.html" target="_blank">website, a reconstruction of that site is here</a>.</p></blockquote> <p>####</p> <p>Full Text of IACHR Petition. On May 11,2007, just before Mother’s Day weekend, ten mothers, one victimized child, now an adult, leading national and state organizations filed a complaint against the United States with the Inter American Commission on Human Rights. Their petition claims that U.S. courts, by frequently awarding child custody to abusers and child molesters, has failed to protect the life, liberties, security and other human rights of abused mothers and their children.</p> <p>2007 May 11 IACHR Entire PETITION Mother's File International Lawsuit<br>Dombrowski et el V. U.S.A, 2007<br>International Commission Human Rights<br>PETITION 664-07</p> <p><a href="http://claudinedombrowski.blogspot.com/2013/08/dombrowski-et-el-v-usa-2007-petition.html">http://claudinedombrowski.blogspot.com/2013/08/dombrowski-et-el-v-usa-2007-petition.html</a><br></p> <p>Failures of U.S. Courts Forces Mothers to Turn to International Law - See more at: <a href="http://americanmotherspoliticalparty.org/ampp-article-library-family-court-custody-abuse-dv/8-news-action-alerts-press-release/46-failures-of-us-courts-forces-mothers-to-turn-to-international-law#sthash.mPqmwjGP.dpuf">http://americanmotherspoliticalparty.org/ampp-article-library-family-court-custody-abuse-dv/8-news-action-alerts-press-release/46-failures-of-us-courts-forces-mothers-to-turn-to-international-law#sthash.mPqmwjGP.dpuf</a></p> <p style="margin: 12px auto 6px; display: block; font: 14px helvetica,arial,sans-serif; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none"><a style="text-decoration: underline" title="View Full Text of IACHR Petition. On May 11, 2007 - Just before Mother’s Day weekend, ten mothers, one victimized child, now an adult, leading national and state organizations filed a complaint against the United States on Scribd" href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/163320183/Full-Text-of-IACHR-Petition-On-May-11-2007-Just-before-Mother%E2%80%99s-Day-weekend-ten-mothers-one-victimized-child-now-an-adult-leading-national-an">Full Text of IACHR Petition. On May 11, 2007 - Just before Mother’s Day weekend, ten mothers, one victimize...</a> by <a style="text-decoration: underline" title="View AnotherAnonymom's profile on Scribd" href="http://www.scribd.com/AnotherAnonymom">AnotherAnonymom</a></p><iframe id="doc_43872" class="scribd_iframe_embed" height="600" src="//www.scribd.com/embeds/163320183/content?start_page=1&view_mode=scroll&access_key=key-bzmx4pt31c2s8mtcrfi&show_recommendations=true" frameborder="0" width="100%" scrolling="no" data-aspect-ratio="0.706896551724138" data-auto-height="false"></iframe> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-61125836286342863992013-07-25T08:30:00.000-07:002013-08-27T11:33:02.172-07:00Dreams Every Mother Has Them - To the Mothers - whose painful hearts, I hear.<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Dreams Every Mother Has Them</b></span></div>
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/MnFZA01ZxbQ?list=PLD97D6F3B45DAABD7" width="640"></iframe></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; orphans: auto; padding: 6px; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="http://www.americanmotherspoliticalparty.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="332" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JivePVL43t0/UfE_P82WTZI/AAAAAAAAd94/x5bov4vcaQk/s400/301253023v48_480x480_Front.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.americanmotherspoliticalparty.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mothers Seeking Justice For Mothers</a></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.americanmotherspoliticalparty.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><br /></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.americanmotherspoliticalparty.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">American Mothers Political Party</a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My dearest moms,</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-0792ac48-165c-acaa-f2a6-752a682698e7" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My heart hurts for you all. I am a mom I know the pain. I know there are no answers and I encourage you to to seek every avenue every idea, any group for knowledge, ideas and for peace.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I am going to make this one statement then be through with it, not us the moms of course, but the juvenile petty-ness of it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am over the post that Lundy did, I admit, like most all of you -- in fact I can say all the moms who live every day in agony, torment and walk the battlefields of the dead trying to help just one other bc the pain we have endured is beyond comprehension, that simple we have to try to help just one -- just one not endure what we have.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That has been my whole mantra all these years. Because of the brutality of my own situation, the continued brutality and the fact that I have lost everything -- my daughter, my sometimes hope, my fear that my daughters -- daughters will endure what I have - what we have.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That is why I so honestly put forth my case -- the good the bad, the ugly, the hope,the humility in the hopes to help another. </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0A501E485BF719CC" style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;" target="_blank">All the media</a><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I did -- I did for my daughter -- but as example as well for others to show a way to shine in the deepest and darkest of pits.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Years ago -- after the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rShllw2gMk" target="_blank">2005 PBS Documentary Breaking the Silence</a> -- I found my mission. I did not need to see my daughter, hold my daughter I needed to change the world.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b style="font-style: normal;"> I love her that much. </b><i>(even more)</i></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I shared my loss my pain my ideas, my fight or flight, my tears and in turn the mothers like I became my family. My mother died 4 years ago -- I wished that I too had, as then it became even more brutal. and with that I shared it all.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">I do not want fame I do not want glory -- I want what every other mother wants -- to not be forgotten, for when I am gone that my voice to shall be carried, All mothers even those who lash out at me are mothers who voices I carry. to me they are as much as we and the dead casualties of the war. I would gladly have my child and be quiet. Who doesn't right?</span><br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> In <a href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NonCustodialMoms_BreakingTheSilence/" target="_blank">2005 I formed a support group </a>that is still going strong with over 400 mothers, a direct result of the breaking the silence documentary. I have not been able to add more as in the past 4 years as I said my health has deteriorated. I had to find another way for the mothers to carry forward with the utmost of open minds, with safety common sense.. all I did I had hoped and I know has been example. The good and the bad.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So awareness, inundation became my goal. Get the info out to every one not just the advocate the moms but to the public to legislatures to EVERYONE!!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Rule of thumb </b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-- </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Never leave any mother behind</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. When she falls (either through death or pain and finally does lose it -- </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>she is a casualty of the war)</i></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> This is what Mo was trying to say I believe to Barry about a mother who took her hurt out on him. Do not further diminish her, pick her up and keep walking -- This is why I always use the marine motto,</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b> Semper Fi - leave no mom behind</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. As I would hope to be carried as well.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have broad shoulders so for many years I did this for other moms-- I carried the repercussions for them as if I was them because I am. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">The MAIN difference -- <b>I have nothing left to lose. </b>Nothing. So I can do, and be the person any one wants, to use for protection or as barrier.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Look, I know Lundy has done very awesome writings that have helped so many -- and again the rule of thumb is if it helps USE IT!! One is not dependent upon the other. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like my dear mom would say -- </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Take what you need, leave the rest.</b></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">Never judge another mom her pain, her actions, and never actively set out to hurt her.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As <a href="http://americanmotherspoliticalparty.org/ampp-article-library-family-court-custody-abuse-dv/5-family-criminal-law-and-research-abuse-dv-child-custody/69-mothers-on-trial-the-battle-for-children-and-custody-motherhood-under-siege" target="_blank">Phyllis Chesler has written.</a> Woman's inhumanity to women. Read her books. Read all you can!! Take what you need leave the rest.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And whew <a href="http://www.thelizlibrary.org/" target="_blank">The liz library</a> would really hurt feelings, but Change is what our goal is.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When the issues started 4 years ago JL, PMA, -- I, we, many tried to break through on behalf of the mothers who came to us with disturbing information. Perhaps it was nativity.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know that Susan Murphy Milano and I tried so hard via radio to assist Janice in refocusing on the main mission. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">We did blogs we did radio ( and this was all during the time that we were at war per JL).</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I never, brought her name forward even with all the other moms who were hurt by her as we were able to intervene with these moms safely. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But, when so many mothers got caught up in the Bill Windsor scam I to on behalf of those mothers who could not -- publicly got our story out - to balance the others - fathers, abusers.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My current active agenda is to assist others and many others who have been saved by the joeyisalittlekid blog mothers who went along with hating mothers whilst in the cult. Important thing is they are out. Now we have even more actively being targeted by actions -- not words that are of the utmost dangerous.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You see, I can no longer be hurt any more. Not really - </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>although my heart breaks daily</i></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Mothers still litigating have everything to lose. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">My mother also said to me. Do whatever you have to do to see her, because when that is gone - its gone. <a href="http://theloveforherdaughter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">The final, that is then -- the end.</a></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Such pain in seeing her supervised for so many years (all those years ago) -- such wrong messages sent to her -- but she was so young. To each mother: Only she knows her children her case best -- every decision she makes is the right one for her and her children at that time. It makes me- or others use of my name to confront these horrible situations -- for those moms who want and need to fight back but MUST be safe.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In January, things started getting really bad thanks to psycho fatt ass windsor. I and so many others were busting butt trying to do damage control on all the mothers he published.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Finally, I had to take a stand for the </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">protection of mothers </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and warn them that this was definitely NOT the road to continue to pursue, (although we had to give it a try!) Assisting by quietly do nothing if you are still in the youtubes those who were already marked - desperately trying to secure their safety and psych and protect as best as we could after the devastation.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We all know that.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I never absolutely never publicly warned about Janice until she actively started to work with Bill in doing just that. Hunting moms down, personal info published homes, children, work, addresses, family, seeking the abusive ex for more ammo -- abusive court whores.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I could not even begin to imagine the complete shut down immobilizing fear of that -- along with the custody litigation with my child. So yes, I took as front point as I could 1st with my public statement in january.</span></div>
<h3 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<a href="http://ncmbts.blogspot.com/2013/01/en-re-bill-windsor-endangering-domestic.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #1155cc; font-family: Verdana; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">William M Windsor - American Terrorist. Endangering Domestic Violence Victims and Survivors</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></a></h3>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the hopes that he would stop publishing DV survivors and abused children.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What happened was some time thereafter Janice began to assist him in doing what we all knew Bill was doing. hurting mothers. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">Over and over again we tried to guide her intentions. But like the media Susan Murphy Milano I did a few years ago -- it was just not seen.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I had no choice when the two of them really began to hurt moms. When Mothers safety were compromised, I HAD to let it be known because lives were at risk and they still are. This is PRIORITY. Saving lives to save our children. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">Example - could you imagine the Stalking of Windsor on me with the assistance of janice if I were in custody litigation?? That is the situation with most all mothers.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To all the hurt, confused mothers who think sides must be taken -- they do not. There is no side except safety, and one goal. I have nothing more to say about PMA and JL other than to USE CAUTION!! Until or unless a time should come when I can safely say otherwise.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Please moms, with your beaten hearts, know that you never have to choose - I am always always with you... all. Those who lash out at me, those who feel they must separate -- they know I am here. I do not judge. I pray that mothers will gain a foothold up -- and by god do whatever you can to get there. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">Just (and I know the really beaten moms know this) never damn another mother, most certainly do not try to further hurt her. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">And should the day that PMA and or Janice become a safe harbor I will support that. Always my goal is the moms. I guess I am simple minded like that.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I hope that this eases your weary hearts. No more drama - but live by a code. Which you all do. And even those who name - names, and talk smack on moms, protect yourself by all means but eventually they too will learn. Just like Lawless America followers -- so many who did not jump off that cliff.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I hope this eases your minds. Several have reached out - I feel your pain. Its ok. You are ok. And nothing has been damaged, only stronger.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hope this made sense- hope this sets everyone back up moving in what they do best and those who wish to stay in that dark place can do so without my assistance, as we still have to change the world. we still must carry all those who have fallen will fall -- we have to make a difference.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So with that, let JL and others do or say what they may perhaps by our example she to will get it and really jump in and start changing the world for so many. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I know many mothers who would assist her at any time.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So Janice, although I do not forgive you for the pain you have caused others, and the affidavit you gave windsor on my local court. I do have hope that perhaps you too will see that we can benefit with you in our movement -- the mothers. We do not have to like each other or anyone for that matter -- but appreciate what they have contributed. e.g. Such as Lundys earlier books. they are the bomb. ( I won't delve past that) :-)</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Janice you really are in a position to help, I just wish that the structure of your groups were not so rigid. Dangerous to moms, I wish that some one could explain to you in a way you would accept as to why it is dangerous. I ask you to ask yourself, How can I make it better. For the Brass Ring - the ultimate goal. maybe? -- or not maybe some day.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Know that pain by others may/will be voiced, do not take it personal - it hurts. But the pain of the mother who like me is a pain that all other pains can be overcome for the cause.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/AMPPUSA" target="_blank">AMPP Facebook Page</a>, I want to thank the admins for continuing to put out such great resources, thank you for so that perhaps -- that maybe just one - one other, can endure less.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am on the road to recovery - again. But Bills little whatever and all the rest are not significant to the grand picture -- unless like I -- you are still trying to help others from his relentless torture.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Call for safety and our ability to survive, mostly intact his damage to the cause, we as mothers are united in.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I love you all</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Claudine</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://www.americanmotherspoliticalparty.org/" style="text-decoration: none;">www.AmericanMothersPoliticalParty.org</a></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.americanmotherspoliticalparty.org/" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="232" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3EjW51B-8vA/UfE__6MzeLI/AAAAAAAAd-A/jPo_mB7wNgs/s640/7243_444aa097622352114_1531560461_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3734685209932911961.post-15649923956613188242013-07-24T21:03:00.001-07:002013-08-27T11:31:54.694-07:00Announcement for all Protective Mothers<h5><a href="http://thetruthaboutthefamilycourt.blogspot.com/2013/07/announcement-for-all-protective-mothers.html">Announcement for all Protective Mothers</a></h5> <p>Due to recent revelations by Janice Levinson and Lundy Bancroft of Protective Mother's Alliance, as a contributor to this blog, I hereby denounce JL, LB and PMA. I do not support either of them, the organization with which they are affiliated, and in fact do believe by Levinson's recent actions that both are needlessly and shamelessly throwing TRUE victims of horrendous abuse under the proverbial bus. If you decide to align with either Levinson or Bancroft, please do so with caution.</p> <p><a href="http://thetruthaboutthefamilycourt.blogspot.com/2013/07/announcement-for-all-protective-mothers.html">http://thetruthaboutthefamilycourt.blogspot.com/2013/07/announcement-for-all-protective-mothers.html</a></p> <p><a href="http://claudinedombrowski.blogspot.com/2013/07/reply-to-lundy-bancroft-change-is-here.html">http://claudinedombrowski.blogspot.com/2013/07/reply-to-lundy-bancroft-change-is-here.html</a></p> <p><a href="http://glennscult.blogspot.com/2013/07/due-to-recent-revelations-by-janice.html">http://glennscult.blogspot.com/2013/07/due-to-recent-revelations-by-janice.html</a></p> <p><a href="http://bx.businessweek.com/open-government/janice-levinson-using-the-blood-of-battered-mothers-and-children-for-her-personal-gain/7420065467279087640-54223d6685f4e599a8d5d17d4bb694b9/">http://bx.businessweek.com/open-government/janice-levinson-using-the-blood-of-battered-mothers-and-children-for-her-personal-gain/7420065467279087640-54223d6685f4e599a8d5d17d4bb694b9/</a></p> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00519491961801119854noreply@blogger.com