En Re: Bill Windsor - Endangering Domestic Violence Victims and Survivors

“Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the Oppressed. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere.” -Elie Wiesel, Holocaust Survivor
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” -Anne Frank
"It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry. "
-Thomas Paine

American Mothers
Political Party
Any cause, is good when always -- in all that you do, you maintain your honor, dignity and self respect. Life’s guiding tool. I learned this from my Romanian grandmother and Father who survived the death camps in Auschwitz and then Dachau – when finally they were liberated by the US - my grandfather - 2^nd wave of Normandy. The reason I exist is because of the way humanity works when the heart is in the right place.

We can learn about ourselves all throughout history. I encourage this as it is besides being interesting, it is repeated. I have had to learn that by abiding to the simple human rights of humanity that we can, or will, ‘’Rise a Nation’’ in a good cause, or even at minimum, because this is the good battle, the high road, the ultimate justice.

I watched a very good miniseries today, World Without End. Throughout it, I kept thinking of ‘the very notable parallels’ of the sudden 180 turn by Bill on so many people, and in doing so, the use of my website to hide behind for ‘his own’ actions.
Throughout my almost two decades of being involved in a inhumane civil society that rewards for ‘criminal violence’ and continues to perpetrate atrocious human rights violations against any people, usually a ‘category’ of people -- in what I do and with the countless mothers I have personally worked with – is a ‘category’ of people, a holocaustic hatred towards mothers and their children when they try to regain their Human Rights to be free of torture -- only to be tortured further by their tormentor in yet One More Battleground of an already full arsenal. Family Court.

I do not usually ‘feed’ into those who are so driven with all their time, to try to hurt a ‘category’ of already oppressed people. Real humans know this, so no words are needed, those who do not, no words are adequate. Besides, quite simply, I don’t do drama.

In order to carry on -- although Bill has hurt so many through black mail, coercion and has threatened the safety of so many mothers and their children by sharing their intimate and confidential information on the non real world of face book – a dangerous place anyways, because ‘he thinks’ something - and his excuse for ‘his’ own actions and behavior is to ‘hide’ behind American Mothers Political Party website (AMPP). I would ask, “Why would someone do this?” However, I long ago stopped asking that and worrying about those types of people who feed on the frailty of vulnerable people.
So with that, I will simply state that American Mothers Political Party (AMPP) and I -- are one in the same. My 1^st and last (and imo to much) but if it will cease your obsession of endangering mothers or any one for that matter, my statement (and I am being nice - most get a ‘two word’ statement from me when they act like you have)

I, Claudine Dombrowski or AMMPP (again only I am AMPP) state that everything you Bill have said about AMPP is and has been and likely to remain “intentionally distorted and inaccurate.” Let the record be clear, I, and I alone maintain the website www.AmericanMothers.PoliticalParty.org Bill, you know this – and always have.

Bill, I have not threatened you, I have not, nor do I have the power to stop your goal. No copy right violations (I do know them, just ask PBS). I had thought, the concept of LA was a good idea, is why it saddened me (when, although I have broad shoulders) that you systematically began removing mothers who have been ‘battered’ by the fathers of their children, in horrendous ways, because you- 'gave them' (bill almighty) a chance to disengage with American Mothers Political Party or to ‘tell’ their side of story, wow!! Talk about demanding and classic black mail - and you do, hold that power - 'control' of fear over them with their personal, sensitive and life threatening information, entrusted to you, a power which you have misused and freely wield.

You see, I need no public support, the truth is self-sustained. I will not hurt others to prop myself up. I will not alter, nor publish or intimidate others so basically I just ignore you. As I have with others like you throughout the last two decades, as I am sure will be others in the next two decades. I will not drop everything because you or any other ‘demands’ it. I will not defend myself against ignorance or ‘play’ into the need for self absorption.
I will not engage in your feeding frenzy obsession and with American Mothers Political Party as simply, I try to spend my energy doing what I always have, keeping my energy focused on the positive and future real change, for all - as well with a ‘special’ heart held dream of freedom for that 'category' of people - battered mothers and their children.

Anyone with any inclination, can research easily, any ones ignorance towards these mothers and the issues surrounding them. For those who do not, no amount of dialogue is possible to change their mind, nor their narcissistic - attention seeking behaviors.

So perhaps, maybe you can come back down to reality and realize that all the good you have done you are destroying – hiding behind the ‘hatred of myself and my website American Mothers Political Party’. I have always told mothers, fathers and grandparents and cps victims that there is no ‘messiah’ or any –one sure way to regain so many freedoms lost on top of the already human rights freedoms that Domestic Violence Victims have and continue to endure.
It’s just not important to society, dead women and children, terror and fear of those - perpetrated by their most intimate partner, lover and at one time friend. It is a terror a betrayal that is more than just a crime. Simple Human rights.
I have not looked today what fear and terror you have stricken in others in the name of yourself, behind the skirt of American Mothers Political Party, but from a email post that you say you received (although was meant for me/ AMPP) and the oddly twisted cognitive thought process to assume that out of that email, you deduce ‘your own’ mantras of what ‘you think’ I said, what you ASSume...
I alone, own, operate and maintain www.AmericanMothersPoliticalParty.org I alone, no one else. Simple enough?
Now, you know as do others. Come after me and leave everyone else alone. You can no longer hide behind the ‘skirts’ of amp as to why, with your twisted excuses, of why you are hurting these mothers.
Bill - you have already posted my address, email along with so many others. You know where to send your law suits.
Southern Poverty Law Center on the Fathers' Rights Movement
Listed as a HATE Group e.g. Skin heads, Westborough Baptist Church, Neo Nazi’s etc…
· AMPP Home
· AMPP Article Library
News and Events
§ American Mothers Political Party Denounces “Dominick’s Law” In Michigan
§ Monsters In the Closet - Domestic Violence From a Child's View
§ Parental Alienation: A 'Mythical Legal Argument'
§ PRESS RELEASE: HISTORIC US SUPREME COURT CASE
§ It’s Not Angst Over Custody: Fathers Kill Their Children to Punish Their Ex-Partners
§ “Hearts Across America” -- Million Mom March Mother's Day 2011, at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington, D.C.
§ Cut $500 Million from the Fatherhood Initiative and Hold Congressional Hearings
§ Family Courts Helping Pedophiles, Batterers Get Child Custody
§ UN Mothers UNiTE to End Violence Against Mothers And Their Children Campaign
§ Mothers Of Lost Children Rally In Washington, D.C. FEBRUARY 13th and 14th, 2011
§ Parental Alienation and Domestic Violence
§ Battered Women, Abused Children, Child Custody A National Crisis
§ Ms.Mag and Reality Check SLAMM HuffPo’s Censorship Protecting Abusers Tool by Dr. Warshak
§ Failures of U.S. Courts Forces Mothers to Turn to International Law
§ PRESS RELEASE: AMPP Stands Behind Christian Coffey HIS Mother and All Their Supporters
§ Melinda Stratton: Another Mother 'Hunted' Down
Multi Media
Documentaries Of Importance
§ Dr. Phil Exposes the Crisis in Family Court
§ INTERVIEW WITH DOMINIQUE LASSEUR, PRODUCER OF “BREAKING THE SILENCE: CHILDREN’S STORIES”
§ Family Court Related Research and Articles
§ MISTAKES MOTHERS MAKE in Child Custody Litigation
§ Top 5 HHS Programs Endangering Women and Children - Billions Of Your Tax Dollars Fuel The Genocide Against Mother's And Her Children
§ U.S. FAMILY COURTS SACRIFICING MOTHERS & CHILDREN all the usual suspects; Guardian ad Litem’s, Psychologists, Case Managers, Custody Evaluators, Access Visitation Supervisors, Parenting Coordinators, and *Therapeutic Jurisprudence
§ Endless $tupidity: Domestic Violence Victim Advocacy For Supervised Visitation Centers
§ U. S. Department of Justice v. Custody Court System
§ WHEN BATTERED WOMEN LOSE CUSTODY: Dangerous Parents or Systems Failure?
§ Dear Custody Court Judge: EXTREME CUSTODY DECISIONS THAT RISK LIVES
§ PAS as a Religion - Parental Alienation Syndrome
§ What is Fair for Children of Abusive Men?
§ Want To Be A Good Dad? Support Mom And Avoid Father’s Rights Groups
§ Insanity? Nope, it’s Family Court
§ 175 Killer Dads: Fathers who ended their children's lives in situations involving child custody, visitation, and/or child support (USA)
§ Batterer Manipulation and Retaliation; Denial and Complicity In the Family Courts
§ A Cancer Spreading in the Custody Court System
§ Some Concerns About False Allegations of Abuse Are Accurate
§ How Many Children Are Court -Ordered Into Unsupervised Contact With an Abusive Parent After Divorce?
§ Child Custody and Visitation Decisions in Domestic Violence Cases: Legal Trends, Risk Factors, and Safety Concerns
§ Family Court and Fathers’ Rights = A Deadly Combination
§ Mother’s Day Proclamation at the White House 1870 and 2010
§ NIMH - Monkey Brain Scans With and Without Mom
§ Confirmed: Protective Mothers Were Right
§ Justice is biased!! The laws play Russian Roulette with children’s lives
§ 138 Killer Dads: Fathers who ended their children's lives in situations involving child custody, visitation, and/or child support (USA)
§ High Conflict Cases Likely Have History of Domestic Violence
§ Family Law Act Aids Abusive Fathers, Imperils Children
§ Federal Fatherhood Initiatives
§ TANF Fraud Diverts Billions To Dangerous Unfit Fathers. Healthy Families Initiatives, Responsible Fatherhood Initiatives, Access and Visitation Initiatives
§ U. S. Fatherhood Initiatives - Control of Women and Children Under the Guise of "Responsible Married Fatherhood"
§ Attention Judges and Lawmakers: This is the REAL AGENDA of the Father’s Rights Movement
§ Maternal Deprivation Inflicted on Battered Women and Abused Children
§ Senate Judiciary Chairman - Response to Proposed Changes to Child Custody Law
§ Hearing to Review Responsible Fatherhood Programs
§ The National Fatherhood Initiative: Supporting a Misogynistic Agenda
§ Family / Criminal Law and Research
§ Southern Poverty Law Center on the Fathers' Rights Movement A Known HATE Gruop
§ "Just Say Good-Bye" New Study -- Fathers Kill Children For Revenge On Their Mothers When The Women Leave Them
§ One More Battleground: Domestic Violence, Child Custody, and the Batterers’ Relentless Pursuit of their Victims Through the Courts
§ Mothers On Trial: The Battle for Children and Custody. Motherhood Under Siege
§ ABUSIVE FATHERS ARE MORE LIKELY TO SEEK SOLE CUSTODY IN CHILD CUSTODY BATTLES
§ Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life
§ Whores Of The Court and the Rape of American Justice
§ Domestic Violence, Abuse, and Child Custody
§ VAWA, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Fathers Rights
VAWA - Title II - The Entire MISSING Section of the VAWA Identifying Use of PAS Legal Strategies as Violence Against Women Which Endangers Children

Nightmare

A short Story by my daughter Rikki Dombrowski for her English Class—(She only got a “C” for this awesome piece of writing)

Dec. 9th, 2007 at the time she was not aware that these were her memories - 3 days before her own 13th Birthday she shared this with me.

I did die then - the fog machine - her knowledge of the attack planned before it happened-

She is a beautiful writer and in that she will be only as ok as I am..

And I will live for forever for her I will fly high- and never will we fall again…

NIGHTMARE

It all started the night of the dream, the dream when my life turned upside down and inside out.

I practically had a normal life. I had a mom and dad; I had two sisters and an annoying brother. I am 13 years old and my name is Kira.

It was about 12 am and dead silence in the house. I was sitting up in my bed with sweat pouring down my face. I was just sitting there thinking about the nightmare I just had.

In the nightmare all I saw was fog and a person running through the house; it was like I was that person. It was like I was following a person. I heard my sister scream and saw her jump out of the way of the person. She was scared of him….her.

My other sister, mother and my brother were in the corner of the hall crying and saying to each other ‘whatever happens I hope she doesn’t hurt us’.

As the person or girl I should say walked into the dining room. I saw me. I was just laying there- barely moving. My father was in the room to but he left as soon as I entered the room.

“Kira get up or you going to be late for school again’, my sister Lisa said annoyed by my sleeping in late.

She is 15 and always trying to act like mom. ‘Kira get up now… Kiraaa..!”

‘Fine, I’ll get up’ I yelled from underneath all my covers.

I didn’t realize I had fallen back asleep.  I looked over and looked at my alarm clock it was ten minutes till 7, I had plenty of time. I rolled back over and started to fall back asleep; I heard a crash and my mom yelled. I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to see what she was yelling. It turned out all it was, was the fog machine and fog was going everywhere just like in my dream.

Later that morning after I finished getting ready. My little brother Kyle was annoying my two sisters just like always; told me how mom broke the fog machine.

Then Lisa, Kelly, Kyle and I all went to school.

We all got home around three o’clock. That’s when it all took a turn for the worst. I went into the dining room to do my homework, mom, Lisa, Kelly and Kyle were upstairs doing something.

I heard someone at the door and I went to go get it, Dad got there before me. As he opened the door some woman walked in and asked “Are you sure you want to do this?”  “Yes’ dad said quietly “yes, I am sure”.

She pulled something out of her pocket and at the moment I knew what was happening, my nightmare was coming true.

‘Nooooooooooooo’ I screamed at the top of my lungs “How could you”. Don’t you love us..?

I turned to run upstairs to tell mom and everybody when, I hit the ground, that’s it, I don’t remember what really happened after that. I just remember waking up in the hospital with Lisa, Kelly and Kyle staring down at me. Tears were in there eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I mumbled. Kelly took turns with Kyle telling me what happened. They told me exactly what happened in my nightmare. My sister Lisa upset,

“Well Kira… mom and dad... well...I don’t know how to tell you this, well…..

…’Mom and dad..are dead.” Kelly said as tears poured out.

The woman who came in and did all this, the one who killed mom and dad, tried to kill you along with them. They tried to stop her but she killed them in the process. The police said her name was Marie. ‘She was a professional killer’, Kyle piped in’

So dad must have hired her to do this. 

“Why did she not hurt you guys,” I asked weakly. “Well we were all upstairs in Kelly’s room hiding” Lisa said as she sat down by Kyle.

“Oh, so she saw me, tried to kill me killed mom and dad instead and hurt me.” So she’ll come back and try to kill me to finish what she started. Right..? “

“I think so” the police said as he entered the room. We have been tracking her down, but we have not caught her yet. We need your help.

Within the next 24 hours, the police and my family- what was left of us, devised a plan to catch Marie. It was Sunday, July 24th. I was at the ‘steak house’.

The ‘steak house’ was where we stayed so that when she came the police could arrest her.. before she finished off with me.

It was about 12 am. And I was sitting in my bed.. with sweat pouring down my face. I was just sitting there thinking about the nightmare I had just had. Dead silence in the house.

I heard some one at the front door, I crept down to see what or - who it was..? I saw a shadow of some one, but no one was really there. So I went back upstairs to go to sleep.

Every now and then,

I wonder ‘what happened to Marie, the police never caught her., and they may not. We just don’t know.

Claudine Dombrowski's Voice

The following was sent to me by a law student, she had chosen the battered mothers custody issue as topic for her paper. Thanks hon for forwarding the work of so many mothers with your paper we have forged out finally the Battered Mother and Custody Litigation. Thank you.! xoxo Claudine


Claudine Dombrowski's Voice

Susan Murphy Milano – A Legacy of Love, Hope and Inspiration

Holding My Hand Through Hell: Susan Murphy Milano,First: 9781888160673: Amazon.com: Books.

Light A Candle For Susan Murphy Milano
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=Susan

Susan Murphy Milano can never be replaced. If each State had just a 1/4 of the energy this amazing woman had, there would be no more domestic violence. In looking through just one newspaper, in just one town, of just one State her footprints her love her devotion and compassion is everywhere. Susan was the true advocate that so many women were blessed to know, as a result they survived.

Holding My Hand Through Hell: Susan Murphy Milano,First: 9781888160673: Amazon.com: Books.

On October 28, 2012, my dear sweet Susan left this world and into the arms of her mother. She may be gone. But her legacy will never leave. I call upon all advocates, most all whom she knows personally, to keep on keeping on stronger than ever. We now have a flaming light shining upon us, our work has only just begun.

I shall miss you my comrade, my sister and my dear friend. But, I know, as I feel you all around, that you are always with us!!

We all have our best or favorite and our own personal memories. As I slowly come to terms with Susan’s passing, I share what is one of my favorite video’s of Susan, who she is and the inspiration and yes hope that I was blessed to receive from Susan.

There were many days when I simply did not think, I could make it through the day. I know some will recall these days, as I splattered my Facebook my wall with the beauty and raw power of hope, survival and love. Susan Murphy Milano.

I Love you Susan. Thank you!!  XOXO
Claudine                                                                                                       

         Susan Murphy Milano – The Legacy of Love, Hope and Inspiration

-----------
 
From the Chicago Tribune

• Pastor who was Stacy Peterson's confidant advocates for domestic ... Sep 15, 2012... meaning until he received a Facebook message from Susan Murphy-Milano, a nationally renowned advocate for domestic violence victims.
• Man Charged In Slaying Of Blind Wife, Cover-up Try - Chicago Tribune Jul 12, 1995 ... Susan Murphy-Milano recalled Tuesday that when Mary Nimis contacted ... What she feared, said Murphy-Milano, executive director of the ..
• Stalker-law Target Arrested In Assault - Chicago Tribune Dec 17, 1994 ... Susan Murphy-Milano, founder of Project Protect, thinks there are procedural glitches that must be worked out. "The stalking law is still too new...
• Club Sees Fighting Domestic Abuse, Helping Victims As A `Family ...  Aug 28, 1994 ... "A Family Affair," a program on domestic violence featuring speaker Susan Murphy-Milano, will address what women can do. The program will ...
• Hitting Out - Chicago Tribune  Mar 20, 1994 ... Susan Murphy-Milano said. A five-star general in the battle against domestic violence, Murphy-Milano believes "the only way to fight fear is ...
• Does `life' end at 50? Proposal to give elderly prisoners a break stirs ...  Mar 26, 2009 ... Victims' rights advocate Susan Murphy Milano is trying to generate opposition to this bill on her blog on the grounds that certain dreadful and...
• Domestic Detail - Chicago Tribune Oct 31, 1993 ... A phone in each hand, Susan Murphy-Milano stood between the two donated desks that make up her office near Domestic Violence Court.
• Fighting Domestic Violence - Chicago Tribune Oct 24, 1990 ... It wasn`t the dark that Susan Murphy Milano feared as a child. It was the sound of her father`s key in the door at the end of the day.More often ...
• Regan Martin reacts... - Running with fear - chicagotribune.com   May 24, 2008 ... Regan Martin reacts after meeting her friend and advocateSusan Murphy-Milano in a gas station in Crete after her ex-husband was released ...
• May The Stalkers Be Victims Of Fear - Chicago Tribune                  Oct 24, 1993 ... "It's often the brothers," said Susan Murphy-Milano, director of On Our Own/Hear Our Cries, an agency that assists battered and stalked women.
• Schedule For Exposition - Chicago Tribune  Nov 6, 1994 ... 6 p.m.-Susan Murphy Milano, president of Project Protect. 6 p.m.-World's Largest Networking Party, sponsored by Business Women Inc.
• Domestic Violence Case Has Fatal End - Chicago Tribune   Apr 6, 1997 ... Susan Murphy-Milano of Chicago-based Project Protect, which works with battered women, said the judge is not to blame. "You blame the ...
• Groups Call For `Truce` On Violence - Chicago Tribune Dec 23, 1992 ... It`s a time when you see more traffic accidents, more stranded cars and more attacks on women and children,`` said Susan Murphy Milano, who ...
• Search Widens In Bedford Park Abduction - Chicago Tribune         Nov 6, 1993... sought court orders of protection, said anti-domestic violence advocate Susan Murphy-Milano, because she had sought and received help.
• Hope For Public Affairs - Chicago Tribune   Jan 14, 1992 ... Probably the most talked-about show Daniels did was last fall, when she featured Susan Murphy Milano, the daughter of a Chicago police ...
• 6 Women Sue Police On Abuse-case Handling - Chicago Tribune    Jun 14, 1994 ... "They don't take this seriously," said Susan Murphy-Milano, director of On Our Own/Hear Our Cries, a not-for-profit agency dedicated to ending ...
• Ryan Is Running Scared In Stretch Against Hofeld - Chicago Tribune   Nov 4, 1994 ... Susan Murphy-Milano, a nationally-recognized advocate for battered women, endorsed Ryan. She said that Ryan understands the issues ...
• Need For Child Support Keeps Abusers Out Of Jail - Chicago Tribune    Feb 2, 1997 ... Susan Murphy-Milano of Project Protect recognizes pride often can get in the way of a woman seeking state support. And although Donna ...
• Regan Martin meets... - Looking for help - chicagotribune.com  May 24, 2008 ... Regan Martin meets her advocate Susan Murphy-Milano in a gas station in Crete after her ex-husband was released from prison.
• Fore down, go boom?: For the second straight season, the ...  Mar 24, 1994 ... Chicago faces and places: Susan Murphy-Milano, who was instrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law, will be profiled Friday on ...
• Wife Accused In Killing Plot Cites Abuse - Chicago Tribune         Jul 7, 1994 ... One of the people who came to Cook's aid was Susan Murphy Milano, a domestic-violence victim-turned-advocate who has garnered national ...
• Hired Shadows - Chicago Tribune    Feb 20, 1994 ... Susan Murphy-Milano, who helps battered women, says, "I would feel absolutely naked without them. There's always someone right with me,...
• College's Series Tackles Violence Against Women - Chicago Tribune   Mar 14, 1994 ... Susan Murphy Milano, director of On Our Own-Hear Our Cries, and Gary Pack, McHenry County state's attorney, will discuss domestic violence ...
• Police Brutality Often Begins At Home - Chicago Tribune        Mar 29, 1991 ... When Phillip Murphy had a rotten day, he drank and beat his wife, ... eyes on my mother,`` says the Murphys` daughter, Susan Milano-Murphy.
• In Park Forest, Battered Ex-wife Is Seeking Safety In The Spotlight ...  Jun 1, 1995 ... Longnecker was advised on her decision by Susan Murphy-Milano, whose Chicago-based national Project Protect helps hundreds of women ...
• Police Say Ruling Is A Reminder - Chicago Tribune                        Aug 9, 1994 ... Susan Murphy-Milano, who became an advocate for women harmed by domestic violence after her police officer father killed her mother and ...
• Change of Subject: March 2009      Mar 31, 2009 ... Victims' rights advocate Susan Murphy Milano is trying to generate opposition to this bill on her blog on the grounds that certain dreadful and...

Holding My Hand Through Hell: Susan Murphy Milano – Rest In Peace My Sister!

 

Holding My Hand Through Hell: Susan Murphy Milano,First: 9781888160673: Amazon.com: Books.

Susan Murphy-Milano

“No legacy is so rich as honesty.” -William Shakespeare

Earth lost a warrior this week and heaven has gained an angel.  Our hearts are heavy with the news of the passing of our friend and sister in arms, Susan Murphy-Milano.

I remember the first time I spoke to Susan on the phone when I was in the midst of my family court nightmare.  Here was a very busy woman who had taken time out of her day to speak to me about her experiences with losing her son to an abuser.  She never minced words, she told it how it is, I loved that about her.  It was a long hard road for me during that time for my family and I but they will all tell you that her phone call to me was and is the most important for me.  I will tell you that there is no better inspiration than to listen to Susan talk of her childhood filled with violence and then ultimately finding her mother killed by her police officer father in a murder-suicide.  There is little to feel sorry about yourself or to think that you cannot change the world, she did.

I know I have thanked her for being my soul sister many times, but I want to say again and on behalf of all children and mothers that live the nightmare Susan has had to.  Thank Susan, you inspired, empowered and never cease to amaze many of us who will continue to fight and carry on your legacy.  Susan was the most humble of creatures and right now I can hear her say in her commanding voice that she is no hero.  But she is and I hope that she can let them know up there we could use a little help down here, then again, I’m sure  she has already.

Boycotting Topeka Domestic Violence Awareness Rally and March Today.

Addendum:  10-19-2012 

Boycotting Topeka, Kansas, Domestic Violence 'Awareness' Rally and March Today. Who is NOT aware? It has only been going on since the beginning of time.  

What We ARE not telling these Women is the TRUTH!! If you leave the Abusers HE WILL TAKE YOUR CHILDREN!!! 

Until we stop diminishing crimes against women as Domestic it will never end. It is a HUMAN RIGHTS issue. It continues because it is societal accepted. The Video below shows how we as society can Stop the slaughter. We as Society hold that Power.

Again my hat tip to the real: 
The Hero’s, The Warrior’s:  The ‘Survivors’ - October Domestic Violence ACTION Month

October means a lot too many people, fall, Halloween, preparing for winter- but to 1 in 3 women it represents Domestic Violence Awareness ACTION– (Intimate Partner Violence) month.

For 18 years, I have been a hardcore advocate/activist. I have met and worked with so many wonderful people like Susan Murphy Milano, Delilah Jones,  Mo Hannah, Barry Goldstein, The Battered Mothers Custody Conference, Stop Family Violence, The Leadership Council, DV Leap….  the list of organizations and people who some like myself and others because they simply care - all work year round -- are endless.

Not to mention all the hundreds of mothers who have lost custody because of abuse. I spent the last 15 years networking mothers on a national and local level – even international. In October we really pound it out — we do all year, but by storm we take it to the internet, the streets, the conferences, the National and State AG’s, Coalitions, judiciary and the community. This is “our month” to further not just awareness - but solutions.

Domestic Violence aka Intimate Partner Violence, rape, torture, and death – IPV: A Human rights issue that is violated from the beginning and it seldom ever ends, has not gotten any better – only worst.

Awareness? Oh, we are all ‘well aware’ - 1 in 5 high school girls will report being abused by their boyfriend either physically or sexually before they graduate. 1 in 3 women you know has survived it, is going through it, or maybe she died ‘accidently’ e.g. drowned in a dry bath tub, (this btw is a very common ‘accident’ the many mothers have) falls, blunt force trauma, or you know of, or have heard of, the father viciously slaughter his entire family, the wife, mother and children – most all are under age 10. And EVERYONE in their life time will know someone or be intimately affected by Domestic Violence (DV) – Intimate partner Violence (IPV)

I am a survivor. The color purple bleeds.


I am boycotting the yearly rally I have attended here in Topeka, Kansas since its inception 17 years ago – I have never missed a single rally. Not one. October was my month to ‘be the change’ to take my knowledge and experience and expound upon it. To let others know- ‘NO it is NOT alright to live in constant fear’.

But after the City of  Topeka, Kansas, Removed Domestic Violence from Cities Ordinance codes  - in essence ‘decriminalize’ Domestic Violence, last October 2011 – (THIS STILL REMAINS) – The City Ordinance prohibiting DV has not been re instated, but ‘dog at large’, tall weeds, prostitution, drunk and disorderly’ along with  all other misdemeanor’s and misdemeanor assaults – remain.  But NOT ‘Domestic Violence’ – still remains retracted. The county does its best but the case loads are over whelming.  But again—it’s just Domestic Violence cultural attitudes.

I simply cannot go out to the rallies, marches, activities - screaming at the top of my lungs – chants, (more lies.) Slogans like “Get Out” – “Get Help” – “You Don’t have to live this way” – you have all heard them. They are all lies. 1 in3 – yet we still do our community customs of:  ‘See we care about___(fill in the blank) – but; (really it’s just an annual fall walk, political shoulder rubbing, a few victims find validation (if it’s their 1st one).

‘Policy and procedure’ – ‘Women and Children are top Priorities’ everyone ‘talks the talk.’  Still—no one holds these most evil of society’s criminals accountable – it’s just domestic violence, as they turn away from the realities of it every other day of the year. No one ‘walks the walk’ except those survivors turned advocate/activist. They are the true hero’s and warriors, shakers and World changers. They do it so that no one else will have to endure needlessly or die needlessly as so many already have.

Domestic Violence as Evan stark so clearly writes in Coercive Control – “Why the domestic violence revolution has stalled” and further explains it as what it really is. Human rights violations. It is a pattern of coercive control, emotional, physical, verbal that chains the victim to the perpetrator,  sometimes they break free, sometimes they endure, some survive, some die and sometimes they leave – only to find that living w a batterer was much easier than dealing with the abusers in the judiciary, criminal courts, family courts.

1 in 3 women.  How many of those three have children? You can quote me stats all you want but the very fact that the leading cause of death to pregnant women is homicide by their male partner and the very real fact that Mothers are vanishing, the fact that the cemeteries’ are filled with women and children who were of the most profound types of crimes a complete stripping of autonomy, prisoner of war, concentration camp – comes close. It is their dead bodies in that fill those cemeteries.

It’s not about awareness; this has been ongoing since the beginning of time. We all know about – some judge, some ignore, some become impassioned. But Domestic Violence – Intimate partner Violence exist because we as a society socially accept it - Bottom line. It is acceptable to beat your wife. Beat your kids, murder them all under this so called “domestic violence’ umbrella. Ahhh ‘so sad’ we say, the media articles write “he was such a nice guy”  in regards to yet another familicide or murder-suicide within the family.

The most dangerous place for a woman is in her home.  A man’s castle is his home. This actually goes a long way in showing why Domestic Violence is a societal accepted norm.

A man’s home is his castle- how many men are removed from ‘their’ home and placed in a shelter. None. They take the victims, mothers mostly with usually small children to a ‘shelter’? Shelters are for animals, the stay is the same for both the animal shelters and the battered mothers – about 2 weeks. Then….with many mitigating and very coercive factors, mother returns to  the “Man’s castle – HIS home’ with her children. On average, if mother survives, she will leave 7 times. -- Then she will think that like all those slogans above that she is better than that, she and her children don’t have to live like that in fear 24-7. I mean look at the rest of the world- they don’t go through what she goes through – or so she thinks, again its all lies. 1 in 3. But so ‘perfect the couple appeared’ – "such a nice family” so quiet and on and on…… when we hear finally outrage.
Not tragedy but outrage, as you see every crime of IPV is preventable. Every murder of another mother and her children, preventable.

Trag·e·dy (trj-d) n. pl. trag·e·dies - 1. A drama or literary work in which the main character is brought to ruin or suffers extreme sorrow, especially as a consequence of a tragic flaw, moral weakness, or inability to cope with unfavorable circumstances...
THESE CASES ARE NOT "TRAGEDIES". THEY ARE OUTRAGES

With blinders on, we as society see the world through rose colored glasses. Perfect. The perfect wife, the perfect family the perfect father. All lies. Domestic Violence RARELY ENDS –except in death.

The blood flows.  Another mother disappears. Mothers Are Vanishing.

Those mothers are always up and leaving their kids, their purse, cell phone car etc….. this is the nuts and sluts view of our society. But if a man ups an disappears leaving behind his wallet, his car his cell phone – something IS wrong, became harmed in some way  accidental but usually  would be seen and viewed from society’s rose colored glasses as a crime. I mean men (who truly are the nuts and sluts) would never leave.

Further, many States, like here in Kansas, the Federal and State Grant Funding for Domestic Violence  ”… is to encourage the battered mothers to go back to the abuser.!” WHAT?  We have taken giant leaps over tall buildings, sometimes it is like for every ‘one’ good we achieve – we get thrown back into the dark ages. Well, that is the goal. Oppression, slavery, ownership, entitlement and belief system, of not only the batterer, but that of society’s.

I have no doubt, that ‘We… ‘will eventually change that too.

So here is to the true Hero’s -The real Warrior’s
The ‘Survivors’ 1 in 3 - Who Take What happened To them and indeed create a ‘Better’ world as a result.

#####
Special Dedication to Susan Murphy Milano – Holding My hand Through Hell


Holding My Hand Through Hell is much more than a story of survival, the book is a re-enactment of how God reaches through the fire of chaos and brings peace and hope. A woman questioning her faith through a multitude of experiences finds herself continually in the midst of battle, within her own relationships, and through the thousands of high risk intimate partner violence victims whom she rescued and became a thread in the tapestry of her life.

"More than a memoir Holding My Hand Through Hell is like a true crime drama played out through the years of one woman's life."

The premise of Holding My Hand Through Hell is gripping, yet heart wrenching, and readers say they are compelled to follow Murphy Milano through her journey to the end. After years of torment and abuse, her Chicago Police Department father murdered her mother in the family home, and took his own life,  but Murphy-Milano decided not to be another crime victim, but to survive the worst tragedy of her life and make sure it didn't happen to others. Leaving a lucrative career as an investment banker, she spent the next 20 years in the trenches with other victims of abuse, like her mother, enriching the lives of each and every one who enlisted her help.

Often shunned by traditional domestic violence organizations, Susan Murphy-Milano became like a one man band, utilizing unique strategies specific to each individual she helped. Using her connections within courtrooms and the media, she found herself face to face with some of the worst abusers, often questioning whether God would bring her through the next crisis.

“My Dear Sweet Susan - Had it not been for the hell we endured we would have never met, you have taught me and thousands of other’s how to be the –change- we want, by your selfless, 200% nonstop commitment and compassion. Thank you sister! You are my hero!” xoxo C

Angry, Radical Men's Groups - They Are Dangerous And They Need To Be Stopped.

 

Attack of the 50-Foot Feminist Agenda

Angry, radical men's groups believe males are being victimized by out-of-control judges and politicians. They're wrong and they're dangerous and they need to be stopped.

By Barry Nolan | Boston Magazine, September 2012

Illustration by Chris Kasch

Every Wednesday at noon, the Governor’s Council gathers at the Massachusetts State House. The eight-member council is an elected but little-known body that serves as the governor’s advisory board; oversees things such as pardons; and approves or rejects appointments for state judgeships. That means it has a lot of influence on how state laws wind up getting interpreted and carried out.

Amid the smattering of lobbyists and state officials at council meetings, there is always a member of the Fatherhood Coalition, a Massachusetts-based organization that was founded in 1993 to steer state laws in a direction more favorable to fathers. Sometimes it’s Joe Ureneck, the group’s chairman, who attends. He’s a small-business owner who, while going through a divorce, became concerned with the system’s “sexist bias.” Other times it’s Patrick McCabe, a soft-spoken part-time accountant from Hyde Park whose divorce left him similarly disturbed. McCabe, in fact, is running for a seat on the council this November.

Ureneck and McCabe aren’t exactly shy and retiring at the meetings. Along with the rest of the Fatherhood Coalition, they do their best to shut down judicial nominees they view as insufficiently sympathetic to their agenda. A nominee, for instance, like David Aptaker, who in 2010 was up for a position as a Middlesex probate judge. As a bit of background, one thing the Fatherhood Council is particularly concerned about is restraining orders, which it insists are used in a way that’s biased against men. In fact, the group has been pushing legislation to change the system. That’s why the coalition was alarmed by Aptaker’s nomination—according to a post on its website, Aptaker’s “lack of understanding of the restraining order laws made it clear he was not fit for the bench.” So after discovering that the nominee had failed to disclose donations he’d made to two disgraced politicians, the Fatherhood Coalition showed up at a public hearing, registering complaints that he couldn’t be trusted because of his donations. Under pressure, Aptaker eventually withdrew his application. “Whether you agree with them or not, their point of view has become the elephant in the room,” says Mary-Ellen Manning, a council member from Salem. Watertown’s Marilyn Petitto Devaney, who’s been on the council for 14 years, says the presence of the Fatherhood Coalition has “changed the way we do business here.”

Aptaker’s story underscores a disturbing trend: Men’s rights groups, convinced that men are the biggest victims of modern society, have been busy attacking, defunding, and repealing laws that have been very effective at protecting women and lowering rates of domestic violence. And rather than just ranting and raving on the Internet, these men have been pulling political levers to change both state and federal laws. That they’ve done so with remarkable success ought to make everyone very, very scared.

If your last memory of men’s groups is Robert Bly and the boys banging on drums in the woods, you likely have no idea how the movement has mutated. Today, men’s rights groups tend to be organized around the belief that this country has launched a “war on fatherhood.” To them, the rise of feminism resulted in the fall of man, with males now being relegated to the periphery of society. In their eyes, the media portray men as feckless buffoons, legislative bodies unfairly target them, and biased courts blindly punish guiltless husbands. (Full disclosure: I was a producer of the 2011 documentary No Way Out But One, which examined the family court system.)

Nationally, groups like Stop Abusive and Violent Environments (SAVE) and A Voice for Men have helped slow the renewal of the Violence Against Women Act—which would provide $660 million in funding for shelters, legal aid, and other programs to protect battered women—by convincing conservative House Republicans that the law shouldn’t include immigrants, Native Americans, and LGBT victims. SAVE claims the law is biased, noting in a fact sheet titled “Seven Key Facts About Domestic Violence” that “female initiation of partner violence is the leading reason for the woman becoming a victim of subsequent violence.” In other words: She was asking for it, officer.

Locally, the Fatherhood Coalition (which has seven active chapters and a few hundred members across the state) is joined by Fathers and Families, a “family court reform” advocacy group founded in 1998 that now has 50,000 e-mail newsletter subscribers. Fathers and Families claims to have the “largest membership base, the highest media profile, the most funding, and the most successful legislative representation of any family court reform organization.” It’s a bold claim—and quite accurate. In 2001, for example, the group won changes in Massachusetts law that lowered child support by 15 percent.

Then, last year, Fathers and Families and the Fatherhood Coalition achieved a major victory with the passage of the Alimony Reform Act of 2011, which removed the requirement that men pay alimony after retirement. The success of that bill allowed them to fine-tune their technique of advancing legislation: Get the governor to appoint a task force to examine the issue, secure a seat on the task force, influence the ultimate consensus, and then send it to the legislature.

Also last year, the men’s groups tried another approach to changing laws: submitting a ballot initiative. They had hoped to use that strategy to overturn 209A, a law that seeks to prevent domestic violence by allowing judges to grant emergency protective orders to men or women who have a reasonable fear of harm from another person, often a partner. That law is stacked against men, according to Ureneck, who also helms the Massachusetts Citizens for Immigration Reform, a conservative group advocating for tougher enforcement of immigration laws. “The fundamental idea behind 209A,” Ureneck tells me, “is that men are inherently batterers and women are fundamentally victims.” Ultimately, Attorney General Martha Coakley shut down the group’s attempts to overturn the law via ballot initiative because the state constitution doesn’t allow such initiatives to deal with the “powers of courts.”

Now, men’s rights groups are pushing another bill that would change court guidelines in custody proceedings, moving from the standard of doing what is in the best interest of the child to making shared custody the default. That sounds reasonable enough—good parents should certainly be able to play a meaningful role in their children’s lives after a divorce—but the proposed law has no provision for judges to determine whether one of the parents was violent in the relationship, which is a pretty glaring hole. And studies show that shared custody is one way that emotionally abusive spouses often seek to extend their control after a marital breakup.

In spite of that, men’s groups have convinced more than a quarter of Massachusetts House members to cosponsor the bill. In the face of that pressure, Governor Patrick in July appointed 18 people to the Working Group on Child-Centered Family Laws, which is examining current regulations and trying to come up with a consensus on future guidelines. Men’s rights groups, including the Fatherhood Coalition and Fathers and Families, managed to get three of their members in the group, but there are no representatives from mothers’ groups. (One member comes from a domestic violence organization, however, and another from the Women’s Bar Association.)

“They’re organized,” says a Beacon Hill insider. “They’re vocal, they can be vociferous…and they’ve capitalized on the success they had with the reform alimony laws.”

And men’s groups are having successes like this all over the country. Rita Smith of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence told the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Intelligence Report that such groups have “taken over the courts,” and that they have “been able to get custody evaluators, mediators, guardians ad litem, and child protective service workers to believe that women and children lie about abuse.”

Let’s be clear: There is no “war on men.” It’s true that the family courts should be better staffed, and better trained to sort out the truth, assess the risks, and ensure that kids are kept safe, happy, and healthy. And men’s groups certainly have every right to try to change the law. That’s how democracy works.

But that’s all the more reason that civil rights and women’s groups need to wake up and get involved, something they’ve been slow to do. When I spoke to Toni Troop of Jane Doe Inc., a Massachusetts sexual assault and domestic violence advocacy group, she assured me that “People see through their rhetoric and their repeated attempts to undermine safety for the real victims of domestic violence.” Really? Then why have they been so successful at changing the law? More women’s and mothers’ groups need to start attending these meetings and demanding a seat at the table.

They also need to remember how bad the past was. Back in 1993, before the passage of the Violence Against Women Act, then-Senator Joe Biden conducted a three-year investigation into the causes and effects of violence against women. Afterward, he issued a searing report that helped lead to the 1994 passage of the original bill. In that report, Biden wrote, “…violence against women reflects as much a failure of our nation’s collective moral imagination as it does the failure of our nation’s laws and regulations…it deserves our profound public outrage.” Nearly 20 years later, it’s time to get outraged again.

Source URL: http://www.bostonmagazine.com/articles/2012/08/angry-men-feminist-agenda/